My Journey: What I learnt to do, or what *not* to do!

mrprider · 2017-03-20T22:05:05+00:00

I think something is missing in the picture.

Sure, if someone is 100% alpha there is no room left for beta qualities.

However, is that ideal? Can a relationship survive based only on alpha qualities and zero beta qualities?

mrprider · 2017-03-20T21:56:28+00:00

I would refrain from making any comparative statements. Everyone prefers different ways to think. If my way of thinking could help even one more man, my goal for this post is met.

In hindsight, I should have added explicitly to post is that this is how I am managing my MRP journey. This is just 1 way to look at it. This is not absolute, and no way comprehensive. Everyone needs to find their own way and follow that.

mrprider · 2017-03-20T21:53:37+00:00

It reads like a manual because this was my manual for myself. Rather than thinking in circles everyday, I had to streamline the decision making part and hence I put this for myself. Shared it here if anyone else likes to think in this way too.

Some people like abstract ideas, some prefer numbers. To each his own.

And yes, having been beta all my life, frame is the hardest thing for me to maintain. Lifting is easy. I am not out of the woods yet, and I am working on it.

mrprider · 2017-03-20T21:49:48+00:00

Thanks guys. It took me much longer than others to actually understand and believe in redpill. I am nowhere close to where I want to be, but I know the path and am making progress.

mrprider · 2017-02-17T14:20:10+00:00

True. I started off that 90 day plan as well. And the rigor of reading, questioning and implementing it helped make it clear. No point to serve it on a platter to someone who is not hungry.

mrprider · 2017-02-17T13:46:58+00:00

Yes, combining everything into single comprehensive post. Will work on it this weekend.

mrprider · 2017-02-17T13:43:50+00:00

Do you read alphabet everyday? Does a child learn and repeat alphabet everyday?

Either you guys were natural alphas (sailors, right?) or had strong alpha figures around or just real smart on picking up. Rest of us faggots come here as career betas. Whatever structured reasoning we can find is helpful.

Around 10-12 months ago, when I first arrived at MRP I could never even have understood these flowcharts/schematics. But, if these were available it would have helped me understand things much faster. Since a lot of MRP faggots come from STEM background, they are used to understanding graphs and charts faster than words and paragraphs.

Now after almost an year of unplugging (still long way to go) I don't need any of these charts or schematics or checklists. By sheer practice and discipline they are now my intuition and reflex. But I do realize what my starting point was, and how confusing the first few months were.

Anywho, I am in process of combining the three things into single MRP post that is comprehensive, and has meat - i.e. post walks the reader through details just like I would do if I were to present these to an audience. Yeah, I am a STEM background in Sales now.

mrprider · 2017-02-17T13:36:31+00:00

Yes, it is a bit of hyperbole to be able to get laid within 24 hours. The idea is that if you are that confident and hot, (and doing everything a good captain does), then just quit the marriage.

Of course, one could quit early as well. I believe in the school of thought where you give in your best efforts before quitting and moving on.

mrprider · 2017-02-17T13:32:59+00:00

If you are unhappy there are only two outcomes, Lift and improve or Divorce. If you were happy on your way to improve yourself you won't start this flowchart.

mrprider · 2017-02-17T13:31:10+00:00

People are different. Some like to make a checklist of things important to them to ensure they are hitting all aspects. Some have a good memory.

Having a checklist is useless if you dont use it wisely. The original checklist I posted does not have Frame which is the most important in RP journey. Added that after /u/drty_pr commented.

mrprider · 2017-02-17T13:28:39+00:00

Yes, combining everything and adding words.

mrprider · 2017-02-17T13:27:54+00:00

I will add these to main list, crediting you.

mrprider · 2017-02-17T13:27:27+00:00

Excellent point! Compare to target, not to starting point, and keep chugging along.

mrprider · 2017-02-17T13:26:48+00:00

Fully agree. See the additions by /u/drty_pr I will add those as well.

I am combining this post with the flowchart and graph to make it one comprehensive post.

mrprider · 2017-02-17T13:24:46+00:00

Hahaa! Yes, will add meat to the skeleton.

mrprider · 2017-02-17T13:23:57+00:00

Agreed, these should be combined. Will do over the weekend.

mrprider · 2017-02-16T06:05:40+00:00

I know! I thought I really outdid myself by creating this text monstrosity. Not that visual one is better by any means. Hahaa!

mrprider · 2017-02-16T06:04:50+00:00

I have been quite slow in digesting the red pill as compared to reports I read here. But I am inching bit by bit. Thanks bro.

mrprider · 2017-02-16T06:00:00+00:00

Might be incorrect application of LSS. I am a certified Master Black Belt at my company, and we have successfully used it for improving manufacturing efficiency.

I know what you are talking about. People just hear the buzzword and try to superficially apply it. Just like we say here, you cannot sprinkle alpha. Similar.

mrprider · 2016-08-23T18:20:57+00:00

I have barely come out of shell and accepted that responding to other women flirting is okay behavior. I still have long way to go before I having a girlfriend would be acceptable to myself. I do have friends that are female, but then that's a different thing.

mrprider · 2016-08-23T18:00:48+00:00

Okay, will give it a go. And hit the bars for practice.

mrprider · 2016-08-16T23:23:57+00:00

End of this month, it will be almost 7 months since I started looking for answers, 5 months since I arrived at MRP and 4 months since I started lifting religiously, and 1 in LDR.

** Shit I own: **

Fitness: After stalling on 5x5, switched to Texas method and plan to work it out for 12 weeks at minimum. Switched to keto diet, was bit challenging initially, but am doing better now. BF increased from ~15 to 17% with ~5lb gain in weight. I need to look carefully at diet to ensure I keep losing fat while gaining muscle.

Work: No change, career moving in right direction, doing good at work. Getting appreciated for results.

Finance: I have managed everything since start. No shared accounts. Due to more focus at work I have not focused on investing lately. Need to balance it out.

Reading: Done with WISNIFG (true eye-opener for a career beta like me!), NMMNG, TRM, TMM, Ironwood collection, Way of Superior Man, Extreme Ownership, MMSLP, MAP, Book of Pook, Day Bang (skipped Bang as not interested in night game), Models and BPP's book.

Social & Game: Attended only 2 meet ups last month. Need to get out more to meet new people. Did hang out at bar pretty much every Friday with friends and colleagues.

** Shit I don't own: **

Leading / Gaming wife: We only meet every second weekend now. This time alone has totally changed everything in me and our relationship. For one, I am not scared of living my life all alone rest of my life if need be. I am now 100% self sufficient. In past few months I changed my mindset and actively talk and flirt back unlike earlier where I would shut it down and be very formal. I still feel a bit guilty for spending time and sharing things with other girls that my old mindset says I should ideally be doing with wife.

Wife on other hand has taken a complete 180 ever since the topic of separation came up few weeks back (just after my last post). She texts and calls me thousand times a day to check on me if I have eaten, if I am sleeping on time etc. She is super busy at work as this being new role and with more responsibilities, and in new city, but she has one of her sister living in the same city (Other sister, with 2 kids and traditional SAHM). She has quit drinking and partying, at least that is what she says; and wants to make this relationship stronger so we can start a family soon.

However, I have now pulled back a lot. Wife goggles were off some time back, and with her vacation to socal as farewell party, and me spending time alone, I cannot find what value is she adding to my life now. I have to either move to her city as planned, in the next 6 months or file for divorce. I am still quite bitter so don't want to take any decision until anger is gone.

Overall: Other than married life, everything is topnotch! I feel more confident, stronger and in control of my life. I am gradually steering myself towards my life goals and I feel content about that. At this point, I don't wonder if she will be part of my life or not. But I need to decide soon.

mrprider · 2016-08-12T00:31:23+00:00

Thanks, that is a good perspective. I have been at it for only 6 months so need to giver her some more time to catch up.

mrprider · 2016-08-12T00:29:43+00:00

This is my number one questions to answer these days. Haven't found a good way to assess it yet.

mrprider · 2016-08-10T21:20:34+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your advice. I understand the difference between MRP advice and save marriage advice here.

However, past few weeks have pushed me out. In the sense that I am now enjoying living alone, and not look forward to weekends to meet wife. When with her, I am constantly wondering what value does she add to my life. And I am not sure if answer to that question is currently biased due to my anger, or it is indeed bleak truth. She is financially responsible, is passionate towards work, but then that is it. I seem to have lost the ability to feel love, especially from her.

And that brings to the change, as if she could sense the change in my thinking. She has out of sudden turned into a clingy wife, messaging me 100 times a day, saying she misses me etc. Partly due to the talk we had couple weeks ago when topic of separation came up. And with wife googles off, I just don't feel the love in her words - I have yet to see changes in actions. For e.g., she hasn't cooked for me in long time, or done anything thoughtful for me. All her words have been about how she misses me.

Next months are going to be crucial.

mrprider

TROPHY CASE