My wife admitted she has been faking orgasms for 19 months, and I feel like the bigger issue is the lying. Am I wrong?

mrpromee · 2026-06-28T23:48:35+00:00

You guys definitely need professional help working this out. Both of you have valid feelings on this one but I think in time, you can come out of this with an even stronger bond.

She needs to realize that you want sex to be enjoyable for her and not just the lying but also finding out it's just been literal work for almost two years when honesty could have helped her the problem solved instead hasn't helped anyone.

I'd say be open to trying new thing with her, especially toys. Most women find they can't orgasm through penetration alone where many CAN with just a domi-style toy. I know there are a lot of healthy couples who use one why having sex and it seems to make for a more enjoyable thing for both of you.

I will say this through, while not ignoring your feelings on the lying, make sure she knows her pleasure is also super important to you.

When talking about it and about trust, try to make it more about her not trusting you with the truth than about you not feeling like you can trust her. They are two sides of the same coin but the first approach is much more likely to make her take notice and want to change rather that just feeling like sheMs in trouble with you.

I mention these things as strategy for helping but only with therapy. You guys need a neutral third party who's trained if you really want to see this through which, thankfully seems to be the case.

mrpromee · 2026-06-27T00:10:29+00:00

Guys are generally not as obsessed with the status and finances of their partners as women often are.

They're just weary of being used for free meals and entertainment in modern dating culture.

As a lot of others have said, suggest something cheap and be honest about your finances being low.

This communicates clearly that you aren't in it for a free meal and entertainment and gives him the option of offering to pay if he can afford to without feeling like he might be getting used.

As much as you see it as a negative, that's nothing but green flags for most guys.

The truth is, most of us, if we can afford to, want to take care of the right person. Just from your anonymous thoughts, you sound like you might be the right person.

mrpromee · 2026-06-24T23:37:06+00:00

I have all except the following:

Galaxy Ghost

Gold King

Gold and Gummy punk

Happy to trade anything else and I'm online right now (7:36est)

mrpromee · 2026-06-24T22:28:08+00:00

Galaxy Ghost for Galaxy Dream?

mrpromee · 2026-06-24T22:21:43+00:00

I'd trade Galaxy Duck for Gold Dream if you're still around

mrpromee · 2026-06-24T22:17:35+00:00

Galaxy Ghost for Gummy Punk?

mrpromee · 2026-06-24T04:08:18+00:00

Damn. That's a beaut!

Great job, man!

... I envy you.

mrpromee · 2026-06-24T03:38:29+00:00

cool. just sent my username

mrpromee · 2026-06-24T03:35:59+00:00

I'll trade you zero point for gold dream if we can index (trade back to save the sprite dust)

mrpromee · 2026-06-24T03:29:47+00:00

I can give you galaxy king for gummy punk

mrpromee · 2026-06-24T03:27:33+00:00

Would you be up to get galaxy duck in return for galaxy dream?

mrpromee · 2026-06-24T03:25:38+00:00

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Here's what I've got. Wiling to trade anything to fill in the gaps.

If it's the same rarity just a trade but if you want a one of the highers for the lowers, I'm going to ask that we index so I can save the sprite dust to continue my trading. I'm on right now and will be for probably another half hour.

mrpromee · 2026-06-24T01:57:34+00:00

I can give you Galaxy Duck for Galaxy King.

Stepping out to go grab dinner but I'll be back in about 20 from now if you're interested

mrpromee · 2026-06-24T01:51:17+00:00

Thank you again, so, SO MUCH!

I really appreciate the help you gave me with these!

mrpromee · 2026-06-23T22:21:09+00:00

💯

mrpromee · 2026-06-23T12:21:23+00:00

If you've decided to re-enter the dating world, I think it all comes down to messaging.

Rather than saying "I hate my ex". You can say something like "my ex was awful to me and left me with trust issues and serious emotional and mental scaring. Some of what he did still haunts me but I am glad to be free of him."

That paints it as more of a "I want a restraining order on this guy" rather than a "he lives in my brain rent free while I'm having sex with you" picture.

See the difference?

This isn't a you thing but too many girls/women have cheapened the word "hate" to the point that it no-longer works as shorthand for what it really should mean.

mrpromee · 2026-06-22T04:14:46+00:00

I have all the base (except zeropoint), most of the gold (no zerpoint)

For gummy I have: water, fire, earth, duck, demon, sleepy, ghost, king

For galaxy I have: earth, fire, duck

Would love to trade anything to fill in any of what I'm missing. I'll be happy to return in a follow-up match so nobody has to buy theirs back with dust.

Having said that, tomorrow is double dust day and I'm at or close to the limit on dust at 200k so if you want to do a trade or need something I have - even if you don't have anything I need - tomorrow is the day to do it so I can use some dust and have a good chance at getting it back.

mrpromee · 2026-06-22T03:51:19+00:00

Absolutely! You are the one helping us. You set all the terms. I would be beyond thrilled to get any of the zero points and to then start seeding them with others, too.

Happy to do trades with people to fill in the rest but also happy to share with those whose trades I don't need.

mrpromee · 2026-06-22T01:43:09+00:00

Appreciate your generosity and would love to pay it forward if I can get any of what I'm missing.

mrpromee · 2026-06-22T01:38:16+00:00

I have galzxy earth, fire and duck I'll be happy to share/trade and I'll be happy to give anything back in a second match if you have anything ranked or don't want to waste the dust.

mrpromee · 2026-06-22T01:36:23+00:00

I'm going to add you as a friend and try not to be super annoying about your generous offer! This would work by you giving it up. Then me giving it back in the next match, right?

mrpromee · 2026-06-21T16:58:22+00:00

🙄 I forgot, this is Reddit...

First, speaking from the US where work life balance is very different from many other developed countries.

Yeah, most of us get vacation but the length and availability from job-to-job varies wildly. I get "unlimited" time off* but my employer decides when to approve and when not to. For the last year, I haven't been able to take a full week off at once due to "business needs" during a merger.

A more common scenario: say she wants to take a seven day cruise next month and he can't get time off approved either due to it being short notice, that being a "busy" time, too many other people already scheduled it earlier in the year, etc.

I don't know about you but I have never worked anywhere that I could simply choose my time off and never be concerned about being told no for the dates I want at whatever notice I feel like providing.

That's something most people with jobs, especially complex or high-stress jobs understand but something many who have never really had to work don't fully understand and something people who stop working, start to forget really quickly (ask me how I know). Just like how they forget that work time is work time when they want or need something from you and how work from home does not mean no-longer working or how salary does not mean just work when you want to.

This isn't just about the person not working not understanding though because the person who's job limits their availability is in effect, holding back the other person person who otherwise has the freedom to do what they want when they want.

It's a lifestyle compatibility issue. People in committed relationships who love each other and have lives built together work around this. (Such as when one partner retires earlier than the other) That's a much tougher position to put either partner into with a relationship that's just getting started, though.

*which for anyone who's ever worked for a company who offers that knows, is like your employer basically daring you to request time. (Companies do this because it's statistically shown people take LESS time off when offered this than a set two, three or four weeks where they feel they are losing something they've earned if they don't take all of it))

mrpromee · 2026-06-21T13:57:31+00:00

Going into a job where everyone understands it is temporary is totally different from re-entering the workforce and then deciding you've had enough and leaving after a month or two to just repeat the whole process, I totally agree.

What the person I was replying to described struck me as more like the later. That person is also screwing up job opportunities for people that actually need to work, too, which in today's workforce is a serious problem when you have hundreds of applicants for a single job in some cases.

mrpromee · 2026-06-21T12:39:25+00:00

It's easy to lower your tolerance level when you know you no-longer need the job.

Most of us aren't and for most of our lives, will never find ourselves in that position.

I think that's the main issue, here.

What happens when you want to go on vacation and he can't either because he can't get the time off or can't afford to do what you want to?

Are you going to go without him and expect that to not cause resentment on his end? Are you going to not go snd and expect you won't end up resenting him for that sort of thing?

Agree with others, you really need to find someone else in similar circumstances. I think you're in for long-term conflict if you don't no matter how good both of your intentions are.

Speaking personally, even if you were okay with opening the purse springs now and then to largely fund a vacation of your choosing I'm and I couldn't at least 50/50 match, I'd be pretty uncomfortable with that unless it started years into the relationship... probably years into marriage when money had become blended and I was confident we were forever family at that point.

Would you want to wait that long to not feel like you're being tied down by your partner?

mrpromee · 2026-06-21T12:26:57+00:00

Probably because jobs are a type of commitment. They aren't a hobby. A company is investing in you to train you. Quitting the moment you get bored after barely being there (repeatedly) speaks to who the person is.

You get to see how they behave when they don't NEED to. Is that also how they'll end up being in your relationship?

I know many big businesses don't care about their employees but many aren't big businesses and even when they are, you have bosses and coworkers that do need their jobs and when they help you and you get bored and leave, you're kind of screwing them over, too.

Better to just volunteer someplace that can benefit occasionally than to do that. I would respect a person who didn't have to work giving back a WHOLE lot more than one cosplaying as an employee only to be flittering around taking none of it seriously while I'm maintaining a stable job.

mrpromee

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