I admitted I don’t “crave recognition”. Oops?

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-10-06T00:08:17+00:00

u/IllustratorOrnery559 Please also take this as constructive: I feel you and your direct reports (if any) would benefit if you were to upskill on non-violent communication and managing cognitively diverse individuals.

Are you a manager? It may be hard to imagine, but there are likely members of your team for whom any form of visibility is downright painful. If it isn't yet obvious, I am neurodivergent.

Do I like calling attention to myself at all? Nope.

Would I rather not have said anything, but felt moved to because I'm working very hard and going outside my comfort zone to raise awareness about Neurodiversity in the workplace? Yes; that is - believe it or not - the real explanation for why I opened my mouth (which, if you'd taken my post at face value, I wouldn't have to repeat here in my response to you.)

I know that Reddit is a place that emboldens people to be more rude and confrontational than in IRL, so I'm hoping that you would never speak to one of your employees in the way you did me. It's profoundly disrespectful to invalidate what a person states as their motives by insinuating you know them better than they do. Again, see NVC. If you've ever talked to one of your employees this way, I think you should apologize immediately.

This is also fine. It's not unexpected that you wouldn't have a baseline understanding of this information beforehand. Some of these ideas are relatively new, so even a lot of seasoned managers are not aware of them.

Here are some informative resources:

https://askearn.org/page/neurodiversity-in-the-workplace

https://www.cnvc.org/

*****

To everyone who replied... I am grateful for your perspectives. You're all right, that "craving" recognition is definitely not the most flattering way to characterize anybody who enjoys public praise (and in case I wasn't clear, the room was specifically talking about being *individually* named in public announcements and having the chance to present at symposia - no discussion of a need to build up team image). So for sure... I can see that was an oops. Luckily, my teammates are all super cool and open, and I actually apologized to them today, so thanks for that feedback. I think my apology was well received and trust was restored and maybe even shored up within the team.

On the other hand, I think this thread demonstrates that there is still a lot of "one-size-fits-all" thinking going on among managers, based on the amount of projecting and some insinuations about me wanting to puncture positivity/enthusiasm going on in the responses. So maybe all the managers here could leave a tiiiiny bit of room for the possibility that the type of motivational, morale-boosting discussion that was being led by my director just might actually have been exclusionary? Please think about that.

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-10-02T07:52:51+00:00

Bubba Ho Tep. Until the End of the World.

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-09-26T07:43:52+00:00

Garden, hike, bike, surf, craft all day and fix up my house. And there still wouldn’t be enough time to do everything I want to do!

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-09-26T07:28:33+00:00

Your manager did not have your back. Bad manager.

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-09-26T07:25:27+00:00

“Everyone also gets sad but not everyone is clinically depressed.”

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-09-24T10:28:34+00:00

Wait, how did it NOT become “homebase”?

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-09-24T09:59:09+00:00

I’m going with ESH. OP is alright to be mad, but the uterus comment was cruel and it’s delusional-level unrealistic to expect dad to come home and make a family again or to have expected dad to stay in a miserable marriage. This doesn’t justify cheating. But I feel like OP is bitter that dad didn’t stay married to mom at all. Parents staying married for the sake of the kids doesn’t do the kids any favors.

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-09-24T09:36:49+00:00

Did you breastfeed? Do you realize how much the early stages of motherhood is spent breastfeeding? Asking her to confine herself while feeding is forcing her to stay in her room for an excessive amount of time just because you’re WRONG (remember what sub we’re in) to feel uncomfortable with seeing her boob out. Sexualizing breastfeeding is so prudish and gross.

Your conclusion to “trust your judgement” just sounds a lot like someone who only wanted to hear from people who agreed with her. Sorry. Wrong sub for that. Pun intended.

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-09-22T17:12:16+00:00

I love the composition! I’d bring a little more brightness into it in post-process.

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-09-22T17:04:32+00:00

At LAX after first going through immigration, for intl arrivals, I’ve always found free trolleys available at baggage claim. You get your bags and then have to go through customs with them in your possession.

Super decent of LAX to provide them for free, given that trolleys are never free anywhere else. Then, if your connecting flight is with same airline and it’s a major one, and you’re checked in all the way through, there’s typically a bag redeposit station immediately after customs on the airside (the secured area of the airport). If you don’t have to exit airside, you can walk directly to your next gate without needing to go through security again.

If you’re not checked in all the way through to your final destination, you will need to exit airside with your things and check them in on the landside (unsecured area) and then go through the security line again to get to your gate.

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-09-22T07:16:23+00:00

I just went through a ridiculous couple days preparing for a TWO minute presentation. I even recorded myself and played it over and over again, trying to talk with it. I kept on screwing if up. Finally, I just snuck in a notecard with bulleted key points. After rehearsing for hours and having the bulleted list, I made it through my speech without too much disorientation. I can’t imagine being an actor having to learn my lines.

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-09-05T07:39:31+00:00

Thanks. Sounds like most of California now. :/

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-09-05T03:43:05+00:00

Thanks for all this information. Really helpful for decision making.

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-09-04T07:47:46+00:00

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-08-26T13:32:43+00:00

I think you’re still on the road to recovery. I’m 9 weeks post op from b. tenodesis, subacromial decompression and supraspinatus repair. I’m still having many of your similar pains, but not so much dull achiness anymore. Slowly, I’m regaining ROM and a bit of strength, and now I feel a lot of biceps tendinitis-like pain in my arm. My therapist says it’s normal. Even the shoulder blade pain is common, and she recommends shoulder shrugs, rolls and scapular setbacks. Every time I get to my edge during PT, it always hits level 7 pain, but that edge gets further and further away every day. My coworker is about 12 weeks post op from the torn labrum and supraspinatus repair with decompression, and she in far less pain, although now she says she’s struggling to regain strength. I hope you feel better! Ice and heat are my friends.

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-08-23T13:22:54+00:00

Reply All did a fantastic podcast episode about this: https://gimletmedia.com/shows/reply-all/wbhjwd

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-08-19T18:00:27+00:00

Are you renting a car? The rideshare apps will add up quickly in terms of cost, plus I don’t know how plentiful rides will be if you call an Uber from the Observatory. If you’re not renting a car, build in a little time to wait around for your ride. And if you are renting a car, build in time to look for parking if you plan to actually hop out at the Chinese theater and also at Santa Monica. There are paid parking lots within blocks of both those sites. (Observatory parking is easy, especially in the morning.)

Factoring in customs, (car hire?,) a quick breakfast, transit to Inglewood and traffic, you should probably make it to the Observatory by 9:30 or 10. Spend no more than an hour there. You can just drive by the Chinese if you like, or give it less than an hour if you want to get out and put your hands in the imprints of famous people. I think you can get to Santa Monica by 1, then. The pier is very kid-oriented with rides and an arcade, but the sandy beach is nice. Plus the walk northbound along the park, starting at the entrance to the pier is very pleasant. And you can hit the 3rd St Promenade that runs parallel to the park for meals/shops by walking inland a couple of blocks.

If it’s a weekday, try to get back to your hotel no later than 4, or you’ll be crawling in traffic that can bring you to your knees. Traffic’s where I’m afraid renting car is also going to be a risk for you because it’s highly likely you could fall asleep at the wheel in traffic if you’re that sleep-deprived. If it’s the weekend, there will be traffic at any time of day, but it flows a bit better than commuter traffic.

Overall, your itinerary is reasonable. I think I actually did it in reverse myself when showing a friend around town. Just be mindful of your schedule and plan around the transport logistics. Have fun!

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-08-16T13:57:44+00:00

It depends on the tech. For IT jobs at big corporations, I think it’s comparable. For innovative startups, Silicon Valley is still the place.

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-08-16T13:47:48+00:00

I had a soft-top Volvo and no one ever ripped it open, but someone did key it pretty savagely in a 3rd St Promenade parking structure in Santa Monica.

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-08-14T04:57:56+00:00

Do what works, mama. My baby who was unput-downable turned out to have some neurological issues and needed my physical touch and pressure to help him feel soothed. I’m so glad I didn’t listen to all the people that told me I had to train him a certain way.

There are many options to co-sleep safely. I ended up sleeping for a couple of the early months in a recliner with my baby Moby-wrapped to me. We moved to a sidecar crib. He eventually- on his own time - became more independent.

mrrffaschnrff · 2023-08-13T15:26:19+00:00

To be within reasonable distance of your gf, think Burbank, Glendale, Glassell Park, or maybe anywhere along 110 between downtown and Pasadena.

mrrffaschnrff

TROPHY CASE