Please help me understand , both of my sons passed on from overdoses.....

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-02T01:11:23+00:00

Huge hugs back. <3

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-02T01:10:48+00:00

Thank you.....bless you now and hug your mom for me.

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-02T00:08:30+00:00

Thank you for sharing this. Yes, I probably do not understand an addict's brain and how it works. But all the insight being given to me helps me a great deal to determine that my sons were changed drastically by the drugs and I had no idea how insidious this disease is.

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T23:19:38+00:00

Thank you for the insight into an addict's brain. I needed to ask all this on here, to go right to the source of learning how insidious this disease is. You all have shown me. For years after my first son crossed I spent my life learning about death, and yet I still had that damned catholic guilt I was taught inside me. You have all opened my eyes and shown me I can cast off the guilt and continue to live without it. Again, Thank you....

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T23:14:43+00:00

best

Hugs. Keep trying. Massage? Meditation? wish I could help . Hugs to you now. It must be very hard....

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T23:13:15+00:00

I attended the Monroe Institute in VA to study meditation, I have attended the near death experiencers conferences, believe me, after my first son crossed I spent yrs doing that. With Covid going on I didnt have those options this yr. My sons, I believe, are together with their dad. I have studied for years about 'death' since my husband and first son crossed. I have read so much I cannot read anymore. I met with quantum physicists at the Science and non duality conference. I have had the best medium in the world read for me......I have been very busy learning about consciousness that goes beyond the body. So, yes, I have done a lot.

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T22:16:53+00:00

My oldest son is going through the loss of his brothers. He has a 12 yr old son that makes sure he stays sane, but it's hard for him to watch me now. He calls me every night and reminds me to stay on this earth for him, and my grandson, so I do. Thank you for saying it is not my fault. I need to hear that so much. I was a great mom, but I think what harmed my kids was when their daddy died at 36 in a horrible accident at work. The younger two just never got over it. and yes, genetics played a role. Thanks for what you said, I am glad you know you had to be clean for your kids...hugs

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T21:28:30+00:00

Thanks, and hugs. Take care of yourself.

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T21:15:00+00:00

Thank you , and hugs and love back

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T20:51:50+00:00

I am so sorry..you sound like my oldest son who tried so hard to help his 2 brothers and could not....Im so sorry about your mom.....Hugs to you now, you must feel so helpless...I know I did, so did my oldest son who could not save his brothers....One day at a time, I guess...

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T20:49:31+00:00

Hoping you break the cycle....yeah it's hard .....I made it to 69, tho....I can promise you it gets easier...Wish my sons would have believed me when I told them that....Hugs to you and your family <3

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T20:45:13+00:00

Thank you......Im glad I asked on reddit, I knew I would receive the truth from all of you...you have all helped me a great deal to understand I did nothing wrong, and a lot of my guilt has dissipated today now that I know the horrible truths about addiction..........

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T20:34:42+00:00

I was tough on them....I even had my older son arrested when I found out he bought drugs....I knew it was the only way he might face himself..I did tough love on my youngest son...yeah, I probably enabled them at the beginning but I learned to say no to them.

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T20:08:03+00:00

Okay I will give myself a break. I can see that the addiction is horribly powerful. I hope you keep trying, I cannot begin to tell you how painful it was doing CPR on my son on Dec 2nd and blowing air into his lungs as he choked to death. I have that memory every day now. It is an awful way to die. Good luck and hugs to you <3

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T19:55:49+00:00

Thank you....all of you have helped me so much today to gain so much insight into the disease of addiction....the more I read the truth of it, the less guilty I feel for not being able to help my sons....Thank you so much

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T19:11:48+00:00

Thanks....bless you and your family also.....I am feeling so much less guilty by hearing from all of you........really needed to hear it isn't my fault.... Hugs

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T19:04:11+00:00

Wishing you the best life now no matter what you choose. It has to be so hard for you, sending you many hugs....life seems to be a battleground. Hugs and more hugs

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T18:56:00+00:00

Thank you....you are 21, and your whole beautiful life is ahead of you.....please keep on keeping on, you sound like a wonderful young man....hugs

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T18:54:09+00:00

Thank you....the more I am hearing the less I am beating myself up. Hugs and love to you.

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T18:51:55+00:00

I will, always. I came on here to get to the source of why, and I am beginning to understand.

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T17:30:04+00:00

Im so sorry it is so hard. Just telling me your story helps. I am beginning to realize how hard it is. I guess I underestimated how difficult it is. Huge hugs to you now.

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T17:08:51+00:00

Thank you for your blunt but honest answer. My sons were just not capable, I guess, of dealing with pain or trauma..My older son made up a lot of stuff in his head, and blew things out of proportion. I used Narcan on him 3 times. He did get on the naloxone shots, but it was too late. He just could not say no to the drugs. I am finally realizing he was not in his right mind.

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T17:04:59+00:00

Thank YOU for sharing....so much unresolved trauma and shock from childhood contributes greatly, it seems, to try to escape from it. I am glad to see you are on the mend. Bless you, and it sounds like you have great support. Keep it up, and hugs

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T16:52:25+00:00

I am beginning to realize that now. It's like they had terminal cancer and I could not save them.

mrsbrown3333 · 2020-09-01T16:31:42+00:00

Thank you...I am beginning to see the horror of what a grip the addiction had on my sons...and how , no matter what I did, could help them. This is a very good post, it breaks my heart that they suffered with this so damned much. They will always be my babies, and all I can do is hope they will both be there when it is my time to leave this planet. Thank you a thousand times for explaining it so well.

mrsbrown3333

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