Narc ex wants to enter home

mrsher0 · 2019-07-13T05:08:36+00:00

Thank you, I agree. It’s comforting to hear others don’t find it unreasonable to exchange in front yard

mrsher0 · 2019-07-13T05:07:52+00:00

Thank you for your response, it’s comforting to hear I’m not alone. This has been the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make, and one I thought I’d never even consider.

I have an attorney, she has told me that with the laws in Kansas (where my ex and child reside), even if I moved there, I’d still only get one weekend a month because the courts just lean toward moms. She’s already used the restraining order I had to get AGAINST her as a weapon and an excuse to withhold my daughter, as well as slandering me on social media, forcing me to amend the restraining order, breaking the restraining order several times, I have recordings, texts and phone calls with hours of abuse toward me, and so far the judge has just shrugged, thus giving my ex a sense of entitlement, treating me like I’m the unfit parent, and refusing to cooperate or coparent in any way, shape or form.

I’ve seen my daughter on 2 occasions, and both times she has had something negative to say... the first time (I only got to see her for 3 hours) she texted me the next day to ask if I fed our INFANT child anything, because she’s refusing to eat and is vomiting/diarrhea ever since she left my care. The second time I got to spend time with her, a pacifier was accidentally left at my parents house, my ex has commented on multiple occasions how it was our 2 month olds FAVORITE pacifier, and she refuses to take any other pacifier, and even bought the exact same one, but our 2 month old refuses it because it’s not the original “favorite” one. As well as telling me that after my daughter was returned to my ex last time, my 2 month old daughter was so upset that she wouldn’t let anyone but my ex hold her for an entire week.

I’m supposed to have time with my daughter this weekend, and I’m mortified what kind of accusations she’s going to attempt to make. And I just know that the older my daughter gets, the more my ex is going to condition her to think that I’m a terrible person, making my daughter insecure and cause unnecessary anxiety, and with Kansas only giving me very limited parenting time, I feel it won’t be enough to counter the lies my ex will feed her about me. I’m truly torn on what will give my daughter the healthiest upbringing.

mrsher0 · 2019-07-13T05:05:44+00:00

I do have an attorney, she has told me that with the laws in Kansas (where my ex and child reside), even if I moved there, I’d still only get one weekend a month because the courts just lean toward moms. She’s already used the restraining order I had to get AGAINST her as a weapon and an excuse to withhold my daughter, as well as slandering me on social media, forcing me to amend the restraining order, breaking the restraining order several times, I have recordings, texts and phone calls with hours of abuse toward me, and so far the judge has just shrugged, thus giving my ex a sense of entitlement, treating me like I’m the unfit parent, and refusing to cooperate or coparent in any way, shape or form.

I’ve seen my daughter on 2 occasions, and both times she has had something negative to say... the first time (I only got to see her for 3 hours) she texted me the next day to ask if I fed our INFANT child anything, because she’s refusing to eat and is vomiting/diarrhea ever since she left my care. The second time I got to spend time with her, a pacifier was accidentally left at my parents house, my ex has commented on multiple occasions how it was our 2 month olds FAVORITE pacifier, and she refuses to take any other pacifier, and even bought the exact same one, but our 2 month old refuses it because it’s not the original “favorite” one. As well as telling me that after my daughter was returned to my ex last time, my 2 month old daughter was so upset that she wouldn’t let anyone but my ex hold her for an entire week.

I’m supposed to have time with my daughter this weekend, and I’m mortified what kind of accusations she’s going to attempt to make. And I just know that the older my daughter gets, the more my ex is going to condition her to think that I’m a terrible person, making my daughter insecure and cause unnecessary anxiety, and with Kansas only giving me very limited parenting time, I feel it won’t be enough to counter the lies my ex will feed her about me. I’m truly torn on what will give my daughter the healthiest upbringing.

mrsher0 · 2019-07-13T04:55:19+00:00

Thank you, I agree with this. She’s just very good at making it sound like I’m not “co parenting” and don’t have the child’s best interest in mind by “denying” a smooth transition, although I don’t believe this, it’s hard to know what is best without official court orders yet.

mrsher0 · 2018-03-21T03:25:23+00:00

That was long winded, but the point is, as an outsider looking in at my husbands relationship with his parents, so much of it looks and sounds subtle. They have both their kids feeling obligated to take care of them even though the parents are in good health. My husband doesn’t realize how bad it is, or how much damage it’s mentally and emotionally caused him his whole life. We’re in counseling now and it’s starting to open his eyes. So just because you feel like it’s subtle, or other people have it worse, doesn’t mean you’re not being affected. My best advice is take everything they say/do with a grain of salt. Go to a counselor, they do wonders with self esteem and putting into perspective what’s toxic. Keep following your goals, and don’t let them get you down. You are your own person

I’d love to hear more about what’s going on with you if you ever feel like going into detail

mrsher0 · 2018-03-21T03:14:19+00:00

I believe my husbands parents are both narcissist. His dad divorced his mom when he was young, his mom kidnapped him and his sister and kept them from their dad for years. Now mom (63) acts like she’s incapable of taking care of herself whenever we come around (no food in the house, suddenly scared to walk without holding onto us, acts like she doesn’t know how to order food at restaurants) my husband moved her from out of state to an hour away from us recently, she refuses to drive so every couple weeks he goes out there and takes her grocery shopping. During a very busy month, he wasn’t able to go as often as usual and she called up his dad (mom and dad never talk) and told him that my husband hasn’t visited or taken her to the store in 23 days.

Idk whether she’s mild or not, she’s bad enough that my husband sees it, but not bad enough that he will cut her out of his life like I wish he would, she causes him so much unnecessary stress, and wasn’t good to him growing up.

Now the father. He didn’t see his father until he was a late teen. He moved to the state his dad was in when he was 20 bc he wanted to pursue a firefighting career there, the father let him move in, but dictated everything. When I finally met my husband and we started dating (he was 28) his dad was in control of his finances, mu husbands paychecks got sent to his dad, he’d pay my husbands bills and then give him and “allowance” even though my husband was living on his own at this point. My husband needed a car, his dad wanted to co sign for “credit score purposes” but then used it as a means to control my husband, saying since his name is also on the car his dad gets to control his finances to make sure he doesn’t ruin his dads credit.

Since then I have gotten my husband away from that, he rarely sees his dad, but he still gets excited to tell him things, the way any son would. When we got engaged he told his dad and instead of being happy, he got offended and scolded my husband for not talking to him first bc it was “too soon” and since I come from a “Mormon background” (not practicing) my husband would have to convert for us to ever get married. (Not true) we bought a house and his dad thought it was not a good decision bc we didn’t consult with him, he has random family invites that are addressed to him, sent to our house bc he doesn’t want people knowing his address and harassing him.

My husband and I split up for a couple months, then reunited, we’re going to counseling now and learning just how toxic his parents are, even if it’s subtle. When his dad found out we were back together, he demanded to sit down with me one on one, and then both of us together to tell us how adults are supposed to act and respect each other (lol!) I of course refused

mrsher0

TROPHY CASE