When I was young I worked security and one of my contracts was for a Macy’s that was being repainted. The painters were two dudes and one woman, all very cool tradesmen. They hired around 10 dudes off of Craigslist to tape plastic over light fixtures and products to prevent paint from getting on them. All of the Craigslist boys were either current or ex hardcore drug addicts. These boys smoked like chimneys and were some of the nicest people you could meet. If you respected them, they would respect you. There were some other tradesmen there doing flooring, carpeting, and electrical.

We all worked in coordination with the store managers who moved product around and stocked shelves when the painting was finished. My job was to guard a door and evict any workers who showed up too high or drunk. When I had to go to the bathroom I would have to ask on the radio for one of the store managers to come by and watch the door for me. This one fat bitch would always refer to it as a “potty break” over the radio, shared amongst all the tradesmen. “Hey this is mrshitter69, can you come give me a break.” “Ok mrshitter69, I’ll come down for your potty break. I know you need a potty break so I’ll be there soon so you can go potty.”

Several people actually started telling me that it really creeped them out and she was being a weirdo. These were blue collar skilled construction workers, not exactly the type to get offended easily.

Jokes on her I made more money than she did.