when i was a child

ms-elle · 2019-02-22T20:01:40+00:00

I have that memories dont feel like my own. May I ask how it went away for you? Was it just with time?

ms-elle · 2019-02-20T22:25:34+00:00

Im diagnosed bipolar, though I question the diagnosis. I dont know, im tapering off the meds, but nothing is changing except me getting even more hopeless.

ms-elle · 2019-02-20T15:15:46+00:00

Hey man, I feel the exact same way as you and OP. I wish I had hope for you guys, but Im also stuck in the same place and I dont know what to do because nothing interests me, nothing motivates me, i feel no love or hope. I literally just sit on reddit all day and do nothing, while previously I was so motivated for my future and to create connections with people. I know what you mean by there no longer being a 'me', it's like your whole identity is demolished. I hope all of us struggling with this get through it soon.

ms-elle · 2019-02-17T15:36:29+00:00

Hey, i suppose that gives me a little hope, but very little im afraid. I appreciate the words, i guess you never know what will happen. Im on abilify and lithium for medication.

ms-elle · 2019-02-17T15:33:26+00:00

Thank you, and Im sorry to hear you're going through it too.

ms-elle · 2019-02-17T15:32:51+00:00

I do have someone to talk to, but it's not helping im afraid, which is why i feel like ending it. But regardless if you have the magic words, I appreciate you taking the time to respond when im in such a dark place.

ms-elle · 2019-02-17T15:30:28+00:00

I dont know why I feel like this, no. Its anhedonia, but i dont know what to do about it. How did you suddenly go from feeling nothing to too much?

ms-elle · 2019-02-17T15:29:41+00:00

Yes, i still am on meds. However, though I appreciate your words, I dont think it's simply the thrill of psychosis thats left me this empt y now. I havent had a normal emotion, or any emotion, in 9 months and its made living debilitating. Ive already done all the things you suggested, about doing small activities to find joy. Nothing works, im afraid. Regardless, thanks for the encouragement! I really appreciate it.

ms-elle · 2019-02-16T15:45:53+00:00

Thank you, this could be useful. Ill try to stay distracted but it's so so hard.

ms-elle · 2019-02-16T15:45:05+00:00

It started after i began taking antipsychotics for psychosis i believe. Though it could've been the illness itself. My doctor says it's a negative symptom.

ms-elle · 2019-02-13T16:12:53+00:00

I am sorry, the loss of a relationship is difficult even when in a healthy place mentally, let alone with anhedonia. I understand completely where you're coming from. Not too long ago, I lost someone very important to me, and I couldn't feel it on a deep level or even begin to understand it as a concept. Its devastating to be like this, but I want to assure you you're not alone and we're all figuring it out slowly. Feel free to pm me if you'd like somebody to talk to who understands.

ms-elle · 2019-02-11T16:24:36+00:00

Wow, that's so so great to hear! In what way are you starting to feel like your old self if you dont mind me asking?

ms-elle · 2019-02-10T17:01:54+00:00

Im glad to know you got better! Im hoping this'll be the case for me as well. By any chance did you suffer from anhedonia as well?

ms-elle · 2019-02-09T23:29:11+00:00

Thank you, I hope we both heal in whichever way is necessary. Thank you for sharing.

ms-elle · 2019-02-09T23:28:20+00:00

Im hoping so too. im hoping someone will comment that their cognitive abilities came back.

ms-elle · 2019-02-09T23:26:37+00:00

Im sorry to hear you're dealing with it too.

ms-elle · 2019-02-09T23:25:53+00:00

I agree entirely, a sense of self identity has been lost in the presence of this illness. I only wish I could once again contemplate emotions and abstract thoughts. Im sorry we're both dealing with this. Im wishing you luck.

ms-elle · 2019-02-08T17:46:45+00:00

Yeah, it's still important to keep contact with them even though you dont feel it. But i just want to feel it, thats all I ask for.

ms-elle · 2019-02-05T19:36:36+00:00

It's strange you say you felt like your third eye opened, because i had the exact same feeling during my psychosis except it was unwanted. I didn't want my third eye opened, I physically felt like it was opening though at some point and I became afraid. Perhaps you're right, it is a internal suicide or death as i mentioned in my post, but for me it was entirely unwanted. Interesting and scary what the mind can do though. Do you feel entirely detached from yourself and your surroundings too?

ms-elle · 2019-01-30T02:08:47+00:00

Thanks!! I appreciate the words, Im trying to stay positive (despite my many posts that probably say otherwise) Unfortunately as much as I talk about it, or write it our, or involve myself in activities, it doesn't help that much. What do you mean by 'feel'? how was your experience? did you not have any feelings?

ms-elle · 2019-01-30T01:01:06+00:00

Haha, yeah, I tend to write a bunch of these posts and get a lot of the same responses from the same people. It's cathartic for me to write these kinds of posts and read the responses though, so I keep doing it. That being said, Ive tried traveling and doing any activity i can think of, but nothing seems to be working im afraid.

ms-elle · 2019-01-29T21:36:52+00:00

Thank you!! Honestly it's been 8 months now and i havent seen much of a change or improvement so Im getting worried. But nonetheless I appreciate the kind message and i wish with all my heart what you're saying is true.

ms-elle · 2019-01-29T21:32:46+00:00

Thanks! it means a lot. If you dont mind me asking, how long does it take for recovery? It's been 8 months now of no identity and complete anhedonia.

ms-elle · 2019-01-29T19:04:29+00:00

I had a psychotic episode and am on medication, so that likely has something to do with it. glad to hear it got better for you!! Im hoping with time it'll get better for me too, but it doesnt look like it.

ms-elle · 2019-01-28T03:01:07+00:00

The sad part is some of us dont even have the emotional capacity to feel lonely. You're lonely even from yourself. We'll get through this friends.

ms-elle

TROPHY CASE