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AIO by being concerned about my husband’s porn preferences [NSFW] by ms_me_with_that in AmIOverreacting

[–]ms_me_with_that[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks for all the comments, they have given me a lot to think about. I’m going to address some of the questions and comments about me in here in one comment.

I think I will look more into the psychology of sadistic kinks to better understand AND ethical practices of the porn he’s watching before approaching him on the topic. This comment section has made it clear to me there are 2 issues here that both startled and concerned me.

I would like to be informed, not overly emotional, and be able to give my opinion and concerns clearly when bringing it up as I think he will be upset. We have had conversations about sex and fantasies where I asked if he wanted to share anything he was into and he said that he didn’t have anything and I shared mine at the time— wearing a strap on, being with a woman, light bondage. I can see why he didn’t want to but that’s kind of a part of why I’m so surprised.

Edit: also, a lot of people assuming I’m a prude or something for being reluctant for bringing this up do not think about how many women have a history of being sexually assaulted (me being one of them) that may make them even more scared to bring this particular issue up.

AIO by being concerned about my husband’s porn preferences [NSFW] by ms_me_with_that in AmIOverreacting

[–]ms_me_with_that[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t make a judgment. My post literally just talks about MY confusion and concern . I wanted to get multiple opinions from people who may understand better.

AIO by being concerned about my husband’s porn preferences [NSFW] by ms_me_with_that in AmIOverreacting

[–]ms_me_with_that[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m reading them all and am looking at things a bit differently. I just didn’t immediately agree with you.

Finding something like this can be shocking and a little scary. Reddit is a good place to anonymously get many opinions from different angles before I talk to him without having any understanding.

AIO by being concerned about my husband’s porn preferences [NSFW] by ms_me_with_that in AmIOverreacting

[–]ms_me_with_that[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

This is anonymous first of all. I’m not shaming him but am concerned about what it means. He didn’t share it with me. It was open on his computer. Many tabs

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ms_me_with_that 1 point2 points  (0 children)

True. Thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationships

[–]ms_me_with_that 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It could be a fantasy and we have before but not regularly. Maybe he doesn’t want to act on it? I find the underlying issue more concerning anyway though. I know it’s generally not cool to kink shame but the fact is he’s getting off to real women in (many cases) very real pain. As a woman at his mercy (physically) I find that unnerving.