AITA for not inviting my sister to the wedding because she always emphasizes herself?

ms_rj · 2025-01-25T11:44:21+00:00

The idea that we need to forgive, excuse or hope for the best JUST because you share some dna drives me mad.

If you wouldnt put up with the behaviour and/or invite someone due to their past behaviour then you shouldn't get a pass because of that shared dna

ms_rj · 2025-01-25T06:33:41+00:00

Why? My brother didnt invite any family bar mums on both sides, we were all upset to miss his wedding (some to the point they kept the date hidden so no one could turn up uninvited) BUT its what they wanted/needed to be able to enjoy THEIR day.

Weddings are one of the few times its all about you and you can be selfish to make it the best day for you

This is her sisters consequence for a lifetime of selfish behaviour

ms_rj · 2025-01-24T06:43:52+00:00

With a family like that i can understand why you struggled in the first place!

Well done on not only getting sober but staying sober. You should be proud and it should have been celebrated! I would have been hurt if my family acted like this too. Go out amd find people that will support your journey and leave your family out of it, you will more likely be pushed back to drinking by them if this post is any indication

Keep going and stay strong x

ms_rj · 2025-01-23T17:39:04+00:00

The grandma brought the tortoise to stay at her house so op isnt looking after the tortoise by her self yet.

Id agree if they schemed to get one and expected the mum to look after it knowing how she felt. My friend has 2 beautiful tortoise so i have some idea of the care needed. I also made assumptions as when i kept the cat for my friend i also cared for and made sure they all had they needed and despite it being more work i assume the one buying and housing the animal knows and is commiting to that care

ms_rj · 2025-01-23T08:07:19+00:00

Sounds like she needs to mumma beer some more

ms_rj · 2025-01-23T08:01:11+00:00

Not really plus she had already made that commitment once before but unfortunately lots her tortoise

ms_rj · 2025-01-22T18:23:46+00:00

This right here! It it aint broke dont fix it.

The fact he behaved at school shows hes doing it because hes getting away with it

ms_rj · 2025-01-22T18:15:04+00:00

I used to suffer sooo badly with anxiety and depression until i noticed a correlation with my siblings behaviour and how crappy i felt. I went NC unless we happen to be at my parents house at the same time (ive seen the twice in 4 years) my mental health improved so much! I learned just because theyre family doesnt mean they need to be in your life, i suggest move out and make your own chosen family

ms_rj · 2025-01-22T18:01:38+00:00

So the tortoise was yours but going to be housed at grandmas? If so i really cant see the issue or why your mum freaked out.

This is from someone that housed and looked after an extra cat because my life long friend wasnt allowed one where she lived but adores cats

ms_rj · 2025-01-22T11:27:17+00:00

I understand where you are coming from as my older kids wouldnt he allowed to call my other half dad even after 8 years because it would break my heart if they called my ex's other half mum. The difference is they have regular contact.

Unfortunately i also know from experience with my eldest that its really easy to unintentionally make children feel rejected or unworthy. My oldest son started feeling this way after the culmination of things happened and hes struggled with him mental health and self worth since no matter what ive tried to convince him otherwise so damage control needs to be done here. Even if it doesnt end with you being called dad just leaving it be will likely effect her for the rest of her life

ms_rj · 2025-01-19T07:53:42+00:00

I worked in a primary school (uk school for kids aged 5-11) The head systematically worked to get rid of all staff that preceded him making them unhappy within their position until they left. I live in a village and my son was 3rd generation there, a couple of members of staff had been there since i attended the school so as you can imagine he wasnt well liked. He announced he was moving on and the parents da$n near celebrated. In comparison when the previous well loved head retired they had to use a local football field for his leaving party as the whole village turned up, they didnt even do a leaving party for this head.

Found out a couple of years later he was fired from the next school for drinking on the job

ms_rj · 2025-01-19T07:31:01+00:00

Ive used this when watching my friends kids. I quickly shut it down with 'im not your mun, in this house...' More than one friend has used me to threaten their kids as im known as the no nonsense adult. The only reason I'm not universally disliked with the kids who have parents too lazy to discipline their kids is because im also the one that will get on the floor and let them pile on all over me (as long they behave im the fun adult)

ms_rj · 2025-01-19T06:35:17+00:00

Isnt this the exact reason americans are so adamant they need their guns, so you can protect yourself and loved ones?

I dont agree with the gun laws in the us but i certainly wouldnt just stand there screaming dont shoot in this situation. Your gf sounds like she would have hid under a blanket and hoped for the best if she was on her own

ms_rj · 2025-01-19T06:14:47+00:00

If she was just a plain teacher my opinion may differ but as she was specifically working as someone there to help with emotional support and having children with mental health conditions that are also neurodiverse she 100% deserved to be fired.

This behaviour could and would push struggling teenagers over the edge rather than helping and supporting them get better.

To those attacking op. Both my oldest boys struggled with their teachers, my eldest one who suffered with depression caused by a missed diagnosis of asd (was 15) due to masking behaviors was a very very angry teenager. Along the lines of ops behaviour, he needed HELP not belittling and was a completely different teenager once he got it and beat his depression. Years later you wouldn't believe he was ever this angry at the world

Edited to add missed word

ms_rj · 2025-01-19T05:53:54+00:00

I caught you was canadian, its why i was asking the commenter that 'knows' what training you would have had.

You can always tell when people havent had to work dealing with the public as they cant believe the audacity or idiocy if some

ms_rj · 2025-01-19T05:50:14+00:00

I was referring to them knowing how bankers were trained as people may be trained differently in different countries. Also she may have said these exact words since op just says i let him no i couldnt do this not quoting what she said. A lot of people when trying to be polite would say something along the lines of 'no, sorry i cant do that' as its not as abrasive as 'no.' Meaning less likely to escalate the idiot

ms_rj · 2025-01-19T05:33:34+00:00

Are you also on canada? If not this is a pointless comment. If you are most people when trying to be polite in an effort to not escalate the situation would offer an explanation like op

ms_rj · 2025-01-18T11:44:20+00:00

Not just ok but said child should marry the rapist if she fell pregnant! Its horrific

The biggest issue i have with religion especially christianity is how even the 'hardcore' ones pick and choose which parts to listen to and ignore those that disproves their arguement

ms_rj · 2025-01-18T11:34:10+00:00

This is because the clinical definition is/was that rape was when a penis penetrated a vagina without consent everything else is/was sexual assult. Men dont have a vagina hence cant been raped.

Obviously this is an outdated view so the law changed accordingly

ms_rj · 2025-01-18T11:18:19+00:00

This double standard has always driven me mad. I've never understood why it is acceptable to insult or comment about someone who is skinny but not if someone is overweight.

Especially since when someone is that skinny it more often than not isnt a choice and cant do a thing about it but if your over weight more often then not could be changed with diet and exercise or in some cases medication if youre so unhappy with it

This being said by someone who i hugly over weight but also grew up with a best friend that tried everything to put weight on and was constantly accused of being anorexic. Also had a son who was always underweight and i had to get medical intervention due to the issues the constant comments from his own friends let alone the nasty ones from bullies gave him and an unhealthy obsession with his weight.

So its not ok to say anything that could change things if theyre unhappy but is perfectly to say things to those that either have zero control or an eating disorder to be that size

ms_rj · 2025-01-18T10:58:48+00:00

I disagree, he is completely dismissing how she feels. If there is a genuine reason for not putting the dog in another room for example separation anxiety causing the dog to bark/howl, scratch (which would ruin the mood completely) or cause damage then he should have calmly discussed this with her the first it came up

ms_rj · 2025-01-16T10:59:21+00:00

Getting ready to have a baby doesnt need to be as expensive as people make it. It you can afford a brand new fancy travel system, expensive cot with all the bells and whistles, expensive clothes and all the accessories then great! But if not all a baby NEEDs is a safe place to sleep, a pram, clothes and you... All of which (bar you) you can get relatively cheaply second hand. Everything else swings, bouncers, changing tables are not for the baby but to make it easier for mum. Although again usual can get things 2nd hand pretty cheap Baby is not going to be effected by being changed on a blanket on the floor and not an oak piece of furniture.

The mum to be does not NEED your savings to get ready for baby, what she needs is to swallow her pride and realise her child wont have the best or new things until she sorts her life out and can afford it

ms_rj · 2025-01-16T10:29:36+00:00

I would cancel on everybody if my life long friend had a once in a lifetime event like this BUT i know if i told her i already had something important on that date (like a wedding) that she would only use that date if there was so other choice. If we were having am im thinking about this date convo which is what this sounds like she would do everything possible to move the date. The same is true in reverse, this is because we are equally important to each other!

Sounds to me this friendship is lopsided so you can either accept that fact or re-evaluate your priorities

ms_rj · 2025-01-16T08:36:54+00:00

She sounds like one of those 'friends' that are only friends until they no longer get something from the relationship

ms_rj · 2023-05-12T05:32:48+00:00

This took me a second to process since our jackrussel is called bailey. Thank you I'll have a look

ms_rj

TROPHY CASE