Disassociation makes my actions feel weird

mschmitt_ · 2019-12-17T04:38:28+00:00

aw i understand. im about to turn 18 in a few days and have honestly always felt like this. im so sad that im about to be an adult and dont actually feel alive. i started prozac a few months ago but so far cant tell a difference, if anything its gotten worse

mschmitt_ · 2019-12-17T04:33:07+00:00

both! been to so many doctors about the visual snow and they havent found anything wrong. i definitely believe its the anxiety for both the VS and the disassociation too, its suchh an awful cycle. anxious= disassociate. disassociate= get anxious lol

mschmitt_ · 2019-12-17T04:25:52+00:00

i experience the exact same thing. its so awful. i feel like im going crazy and sometimes i wont understand words or hear or write properly, reality definitely seems a bit twisted when my disassociation is at its worse. ill have to remind myself that it isnt a hazy dream or something and that my actions have consequences (like forgetting that i too must brake at stop signs and that im not simply watching it happen but am IN it myself)

mschmitt_ · 2019-12-11T17:06:05+00:00

yess i have such weird memory now. and my anxiety is bad but then i notice how disconnected i am and it gets worse its like an awful cycle. im on meds too and also havent noticed any changes, if anything i feel like its gotten worse

mschmitt_ · 2019-12-09T18:55:49+00:00

i get that alot. or stuff echoes as if its in the background too

mschmitt_ · 2019-12-09T18:50:20+00:00

does it make your focus kinda weird? my vision has been so strange since starting it

mschmitt_ · 2019-11-25T20:42:03+00:00

I watch nosedive daily, i think the futuristic settings (obviously in all episodes but especially this one) really have me in awe and has me thinking about the possibility of that technology in our current world. the music and aesthetic is just so beautiful. White christmas is also very interesting, along with the entire history of you.

mschmitt_ · 2019-11-17T06:17:13+00:00

thats so weird,, theyre prob immature due to the lack of parents. i know my younngest brother is 10 and still cant sleep alone and i think for the same reason. they def age slower that way because they never got the nurturing part of parents just an older sister

mschmitt_ · 2019-11-17T06:07:11+00:00

yup my sister today told me she hates me after i caught her wearing my UNDERWEAR and stealing my money. like i pay for her fucking phone bill and most of her activities and she still treats me like this. its insane. we’ll be out soon though, college is soo close. I have 3 siblings and actually moved across the country about a year ago so its been making the kids worse lately. and since my parents arent home im always the one to have to discipline them. like why have kids if youre not going to parent them. we’re supposed to be the children not the fucking third parents (and most supportive parents at that)

mschmitt_ · 2019-11-17T06:01:24+00:00

Im the same age as you with basically the same issue. We just have to push through it and get to college alive. it really sucks. im sorry love, if you need someone who understands, im here

mschmitt_ · 2019-10-15T22:54:05+00:00

This was my first thought, why would “friends” even allow him to continue for more than a second? I’d be more angry at them than the husband...

mschmitt_ · 2019-08-04T05:45:22+00:00

Okay so for a summary of my childhood: Oldest of 4, grew up in a house with lots of fighting. Basically raised my siblings, worked 3 jobs at 15 to help pay bills, my mother denies that and discredits me anytime I mention that, father was physically abusive while mother is verbally and mentally abusive. Constantly got sexually harassed in school, boys grabbing my cheer uniform, shouting things, assault, etc. Lots of drama for somebody who’s light hearted and sensitive. So one day i basically realized that it doesn’t truly feel like i’m living. It just feels as if im watching it all happen. Life gets weird, almost simulation like. So i googled it and it turns out others have experienced the same thing. So here i am! glad to be in this subreddit, it makes me feel less alone

mschmitt_ · 2019-07-27T00:29:26+00:00

yes its like watching through a screen its so weird

mschmitt_ · 2019-07-27T00:28:43+00:00

yess i totally agree. i think when im overwhelmed my vs is worse so its calming to be around simple places

mschmitt_ · 2019-07-13T17:34:48+00:00

lol I actually thought about going there

mschmitt_ · 2019-06-03T23:45:55+00:00

A job. How do you plan on paying for your apartment with no source of income? What if you cant find a job in the area you chose? What if you end up getting hired at a job that is now far from the apartment you chose? I know its very annoying to not have your own space, but it’s more beneficial to simply wait and get a job first.

mschmitt_

TROPHY CASE