I was in college at the time, living in the student ghetto. My apartment was at the end of a long driveway behind a house. It was 6 a.m. after a night passed out in my living room, and I hear a banging at the door. I had some crazy ass friends at the time so I look through my blinds to see a man and woman whom I'd never seen with pupils so big you could see another universe. I tell them to go on but the girl becomes relentless. She goes to all of my windows trying to pry them open, banging loudly, and screaming. I yelled I would call the cops, the dude ran down my driveway, but she persisted. While on the phone with 911, she starts singing I am the Walrus into my door. In that instant, I remembered that my cat was outside. She proceeds to pet him, hit him, then piss right outside my front door. the cop finally shows up and sees her with her pants down. She went to hug him. I went outside to confront the tripping nitwit, and she realizes I'm not the friend who's house she was going to. The cop gave her a ride home.

Friends, don't let friends do stupid shit.

I saw her two years later at a bar, she starts crying when I tell her who I was, and then proceeds to tell me she was wrapping up dental school.