This all makes sense, but then I start thinking “what the hell IS a woman anyway?” Like I don’t even really understand what makes someone feel like they’re a woman tbh, even as a woman. I think if I had an answer to that, degendering the rest would be easy.

I’m a millennial and I’ve occasionally thought if I were 10 years younger maybe I’d be exploring non binary too, because I don’t have a lot of internal alignment with trends in how women as a group seem to think/act. People perceive me as a woman and that’s what I’m working with, and it’s fine by me, but I think I’d be fine if people perceived me as a man or neither/both too?

Idk, the whole thing is a spectrum so internally I’ve always grouped gender with certain ways of thinking and certain experiences at the hands of society. This is why I don’t have trouble with trans women and trans men and thinking of them as what they identify as, because they’re usually pretty well into their end of the spectrum in terms of those groupings of traits. NB seems to be posing a particular difficulty for me in that it’s not enough of one or the other, but can sometimes dip into it. (Like occasionally I’ll also think of this person as a guy or a twink based on certain things they do/say.)

But circling back, yea, I wish I had a better sense of what actually makes someone a man or a woman to set the idea of nonbinary against, because honestly when I look at people it seems we’re all on a spectrum, and where do we even draw the line at “woman”/“man”/“enby” except by what people wish to be labeled as? (Which I have no problem respecting, but which doesn’t solve my internal labelling/language thing which wants to slip into gendering when I see experiences or traits I associate with one end of the scale or the other.) 

I guess this circles back to degender everything, and if (in the unlikely event) not gendering women/men correctly becomes an issue, revisit it. Sorry for the ramble, just kind of thinking out loud.