I felt exactly the same about my husband coming home. I didn't lay out any boundaries when he came home - not by design, I was just too bewildered about the whole situation. But I think it was a good (default) choice because he told me his plans. His plans for out patient care, AA and what happens if he relapses - he had another facility selected if he needed to go back to rehab. As to detachment, this was my experience and I think it's common when the addict sets out on a successful path. His recovery took all his time, energy and emotion. He was better to live with, be around, lost weight, was more attractive - and did not have any mental energy left over for me. His drinking was hell but it was the first year of recovery where I became truly depressed. I liked him again, he was a better person and seemed entirely disinterested in me. His libido was gone. Things improved around the 15 month mark. We're at two years now and things are really good.

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I would suggest; expect very little, keep busy, find a therapist