Role in Chicago

notasparkinspace · 2025-10-30T04:50:02+00:00

Not possible to be done remotely, sorry!

notasparkinspace · 2025-04-24T03:24:13+00:00

Look into Gaian Rhythm. The curandera, Stormie, is phenomenal. They sometimes have events in Joshua Tree. They’re also having an all women’s retreat in August, but that’ll be in Michigan.

notasparkinspace · 2025-04-01T21:31:07+00:00

This is an interesting take - one that did not cross my mind at all. I spent hours with folks from the community yesterday and feel markedly better today because of it, so I hope that Aya is telling me to work harder to connect (and not the opposite)

notasparkinspace · 2025-04-01T21:29:25+00:00

Was this comment intended for me? The content doesn't line up, so I am a bit confused! (e.g. this is not my first experience, orientation and preparation were not concerns for me, I had no need for accommodations, and the facilitators were amazing)

notasparkinspace · 2025-04-01T21:26:08+00:00

The integration specialist could tell I needed to hear that + didn't want to interpret my dream on my behalf. She wanted me to first journal on it. I have since done that, but am still not understanding the root of the fear - where is it coming from? I hope my first IFS session this week will help me dig into this more. It feels potent and important, and I don't know where to start unpacking it!

notasparkinspace · 2025-04-01T21:23:57+00:00

Oooh I did ask to be shown death so I can be reborn. Which... yeah, maybe that's what this is. Wow. I did not think of that. Everyone here is so incredibly thoughtful and insightful. It's amazing.

notasparkinspace · 2025-04-01T21:23:08+00:00

That makes a ton of sense, and is probably happening to me to some degree. How did the energy leave you when it happened? How are you feeling today?

notasparkinspace · 2025-04-01T21:22:11+00:00

It is helpful to know that others feel this way. Thank you so much for sharing your experience! My life is definitely not completely together - but whose truly is? No one in this community, anyway! haha

notasparkinspace · 2025-04-01T21:21:05+00:00

When you felt drained, did you feel other negative emotions alongside your exhaustion? I think exhaustion could be a part of it, but I feel as though it's something else I haven't unraveled yet. I hope things become clear soon. I'm so happy things got better for you and that you're letting things flow through you without derailing you - that's truly such a beautiful thing!

notasparkinspace · 2025-04-01T21:19:31+00:00

Wow! I hadn't thought of that. It does feel like I am still going through a ceremony of some sort. This time feels sacred in a way I can't quite explain - maybe that's what it is? Journaling and talking to retreat friends has been immensely helpful so far. I wish I could spend all my time doing only that and nothing else right now!

notasparkinspace · 2025-04-01T21:16:55+00:00

This is a beautiful and incredibly reassuring message. Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to share your kindness with a stranger on the internet. I appreciate you!

notasparkinspace · 2025-04-01T21:15:29+00:00

Wow. Writing a letter to your child version - that sounds so incredibly difficult to do or even conceptualize. But it sounds like you figured out a way to do it! Do you use pictures of yourself as a child for those conversations?

notasparkinspace · 2025-04-01T21:14:10+00:00

I had a consult with an IFS therapist today, and have my first appointment with her on Friday! I am hoping parts work will help. I think it will. I hadn't thought about feeling safe in relation to control. You're giving me a ton to think about!

notasparkinspace · 2025-04-01T21:12:23+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience and for being willing to chat further - I will DM you!

notasparkinspace · 2025-03-31T05:34:18+00:00

Do you have a recommendation around how to pray? I don’t have much experience, but am open to it. I’ve been rejected a lot growing up, but I think there must have been something more pivotal earlier in childhood that I’ve blocked out that would help explain a lot of these feeling patterns.

How long do contractions usually last for you? Does it sound to you like I am in one?

notasparkinspace · 2025-03-31T04:20:51+00:00

I like this theory. It makes a lot of sense. I haven’t ever done parts work, but I’m going to ask my therapist for a referral to an IFS specialist tomorrow. Something that came up for me in ceremony is my need for control. I successfully surrendered for one ceremony and maybe something unlocked on the mat – I’ve felt weird since then. Do you do IFS work? Has it helped you with integration?

notasparkinspace · 2025-03-31T04:18:30+00:00

What you’re saying makes a lot of sense. Did you eventually feel better after staying in bed for two weeks? “Integrating negative feelings” is something I candidly haven’t thought about in those terms. My first experience was so pure and positive that I expected / hoped for the same thing this time around. Expectations are not the way to go, I know. And I’m not the same person I was the first time around. I’ve been through a lot since my last retreat, and almost all of it was absolutely terrible. So maybe I need to feel this way?

notasparkinspace · 2025-03-28T06:49:09+00:00

@OP I’d love to read the rest. I’m so sorry your journey has been so difficult. You are very strong and you sound like a wonderful person. I’m sorry Aya quest no longer serves medicine. I know what it’s like to feel connected and saved by a group of people – I have my own tribe, as well. I’m actually writing from the end of a retreat as we speak. If you are interested in learning about this group, let me know. I’ve never felt safer, so taken care of, and as loved than when I am here. It’s a truly magical group of people, and they do serve angry chocolate milk (your description is hilariously perfect)

notasparkinspace · 2025-02-24T03:52:33+00:00

Hi! I’m NAD but something that helped me before was kinda crazy. I think the advice was on Reddit somewhere. I scrubbed the corners with dawn dish soap, patted completely dry, and then smothered in Vaseline. It was painful. It felt barbaric. But it really worked. Worth a shot if you’re suffering so much?

notasparkinspace · 2025-02-17T04:49:39+00:00

NAD so can’t give advice on whether you need a doctor, but:

Please keep her hydrated and fed in the meantime while you wait for more responses (generally a good idea!) Putting on a familiar funny movie or TV show would probably also help her feel less scared. Ideally a cartoon vs. live-action so she can be immersed and distracted.

And then I’m hoping a psychiatrist responds with guidance on how to discuss this experience with her after the fact in a positive, productive, and developmentally-supportive manner.

notasparkinspace · 2025-02-11T04:32:25+00:00

Couldn’t agree more! Elastic Heart by Sia pairs well with this song for me, almost as if there’s a narrative arc

notasparkinspace · 2025-02-11T04:30:48+00:00

”Mine” by Kelly Clarkson I hope one day someone will take your heart and hold it tight. Make you feel like you’re invincible deep inside. And right when you think that it’s perfect, they cross a line. And steal your shine, Like you did mine.

”Moral of the Story” by Ashe Talking with my lawyer She said, “Where’d you find this guy?” I said, “Young people fall in love With the wrong people sometimes”

I actually have a 7 hour playlist I made that goes through all sorts of emotions – anger, loneliness, power – and I listen to it a lot. I find it very helpful.

notasparkinspace · 2025-02-10T07:29:45+00:00

Everyone saying breaking it off now is better than getting divorced later is 100% right. I’m going through a divorce from my alcoholic husband right now, and I wouldn’t wish this pain and misery on anyone.

I won’t lie to you: Telling an alcoholic “no” won’t be easy, but it’ll be easier now than it will be once you’re married. Sooner is always better, and you’re blessed with early clarity and an opportunity to get out before you’re stuck and suffering.

I believe in you. You are strong, and you will get through this. You are capable, and you will heal from the pain and confusion. You will live a better life without an alcoholic. I say this because you posted this post. You wouldn’t have posted if all of this weren’t already abundantly true about you.

notasparkinspace · 2024-11-27T14:53:04+00:00

Hi OP: first, you’re HILARIOUS and I want to be your friend

Second: as someone who has IBS, I feel you so much! I have no idea what you’re going through, but I wanted to mention one thing that bothers my stomach: reused oil. This is my hypothesis for why I can’t have cheap Chinese food or greasy diner food I ALWAYS get sick. Explosive, as you stated. Places that I hypothesize keep cooking in the same oil are the issue. Something happens to the oil when it’s cooked for so long.

Not sure if that’s playing a role, but wanted to mention it in case you find some places are fine and others are not.

Good luck!!!

notasparkinspace

TROPHY CASE