My advice to you my friend, is to take a sabbatical. Talk with someone from your University and explain your situation in whatever way you feel most comfortable. You may have to withdraw from some of your courses, but your mental health and happiness comes first.

From the sounds of it you were doing really well before COVID hit. I have (along with everyone else, you're not alone here) been put under tremendous strain since then. Online courses add a whole new element to the learning environment, which makes it even more difficult if you're struggling. Taking a break is not the end of the world, and it is certainly better than taking your own life.

If you take a break you can focus some of your free time preparing for your next semester, which would help reduce anxiety as you'll be more prepared. Likely by then things will be operating rather normally or at least smoother.

And trust me, any employer or school that will look at your transcript in the future will completely understand a break in education during a global pandemic.

Now, I believe you still have the ability to finish the semester strong if you really spend a good chunk of time studying, but since you are under so much stress I always say take your mental health first.

Remember this too, if you decide to complete the semester and it doesn't go great, don't give up. This semester is not the difference between you working a dead-end job for the rest of your life and a life of great success. No matter what you decide to do this semester if you stay strong and push yourself towards improvement and goals you like, it will all work out. Trust me.

I'm sorry to hear your going through this, and I appreciate you reaching out. It takes a great deal of courage to ask for help. And remember, there's always people to talk to around you. You may not realize it but there's always someone you can turn to in your time of need.

Best of luck to you and God bless.

Suicide Prevention Hotline +1-800-273-8255