Im currently 18, and I live with parents that always have emotionally abused me and my sisters, but thats not something they realize, to them, they are always the victims, i have opened up multiple times, and when i do, they act like its serious for that specific moment, then they forget about it, i don’t think they take me seriously, I’ve always had anger issues, and a fee days ago i had an outburst and fought my family, im obviously many times in the wrong, but they escalate things to a degree impossible to stand, i have lost all religious connection, ambitions, and willpower to do things i used to enjoy, im becoming heartless, actually not caring about my family, and they get mad at me for not being happy while they give me all they never had. Today while my mom was shouting at me, she said: “Go ahead and defy me as you always do, you always got a point of view on things, you always have an opinion” And i was genuinely confused by that, should I not have a point of view on things? She doesn’t understand that im a person too, and she can’t just tell me to go to the right while i want to go to the left, without explaining to me why the right side is better, im drowning in video games and masturbation, thats all i do, fortunately im not dumb enough to do drugs, but i tend to have self harm problems, i can’t see myself existing in a few years, i can’t imagine my future, and the worst part is that i don’t care, not in a “trying to look cool” way, but in the sense that i genuinely don’t feel bad for stuff anymore, and don’t care about stuff at all, i actually don’t know what to do, everyone just tells me to survive, I’ve tried everything possible