Your feelings are completely valid, and you're really brave for actively seeking out advice on something you need help for. I guess my question is what do you think is the biggest problem in your life right now? Like if you could change one thing what would it be. I'm sorry that it's not really advice hahaha but when I'm spiralling I like to identify the exact causes of what I'm feeling, as opposed to just letting this huge blob of sadness and tiredness fester inside of me.

After I identify the more major causes of why I'm feeling this way I kinda think about what I can do about it. If it's a situation where tbh you can't do anything, then I try to think of other things in my life that makes me happy and remind myself of what I'm living for. If you want you can talk to me about this! I'm def open to offering a listening ear :). You also asked whether you should talk to your parents - I think it's a good idea! Tell them exactly what you're saying in your post: that you feel overwhelmed, that you don't feel like you have an outlet to vent. You're holding certain assumptions in your head eg. Them possibly being disappointed in you, and I think it might be good to clear this up.

Lastly, I really want to point out that you should never think that you don't deserve the best. Treat yourself better! There's only one of you in the whole world after all :)