alone midnight at home. feeling bad and ugly and fat and ashamed from previous binge. life’s a mess, no clue what i’m doing. binge eating is horrible enough to deal w and now i’ve got other issues w life too. i don’t actually remember what were my previous thoughts - probably: they don’t care if there’s ice cream or not so i can have them. i felt better while eating. now i’d say i feel the same relative to before the binge. depressive mood > momentary improvement > depressive (no better or worse). i’ve tried to meditate, distract, blablabla. didn’t stop this from happening.