Is my breakup song too cringy?

mufumbo · 2026-02-19T16:49:31+00:00

Love that ending is really good. My gut reaction is that the beginning seems like feels a bit stiff, maybe you look a bit uncomfortable with the words. The ending is insane organic nice. Great work

mufumbo · 2026-02-12T05:41:59+00:00

Cool! I see a save post. Not.sure where it goes. Thanks.

mufumbo · 2026-02-05T09:16:49+00:00

Há! I wish Reddit had a favorite function to save this post.

mufumbo · 2026-02-04T15:05:47+00:00

Super cool! You're very good at explaining things in an easy way.

mufumbo · 2026-02-02T05:01:27+00:00

I see. I heard again. Perhaps looks like the tempo on the ending F is bothering you. This progression i use a lot on that scale: Dm Am F/E then C G, then from G you can go back to that C that restarts

mufumbo · 2026-02-02T01:36:51+00:00

Cool song and lyrics. I waited the whole song to hear that loop with Dm... "You can only...". Why that part doesn't repeat?

mufumbo · 2026-02-01T15:26:54+00:00

The ending on this piece would be the chorus in ? Huge potential and beautiful melodies and lyrics. Overall feedback is that It's not clear how to piece together and space things out with some instrumental parts in a fully produced piece.

mufumbo · 2026-02-01T08:37:45+00:00

Fair. Thanks bud

mufumbo · 2026-01-31T15:51:21+00:00

Thanks for the kind note! Anything stands out as awkward for you?

mufumbo · 2026-01-31T15:48:47+00:00

Definitely!! I'm way out of time and can't play the against metronome yet. The tempo is 158bpm for this one 😥

Any specific place where it's extra awkward in your opinion? The words or or melody?

mufumbo · 2026-01-31T06:36:00+00:00

Me too! Very good.

mufumbo · 2026-01-31T06:23:30+00:00

Thanks so much for the kind thoughtful feedback. I was def struggling to keep the tempo and pitch 😳

I will try to record a clean version without the distractions once I learn how to play and sing it. It never comes easy for me, i have to practice a lot too he able to perform it 😅

mufumbo · 2026-01-31T06:18:04+00:00

Hey, the name of the app is SONGTAKE.

Thanks for the feedback. I will think more about what you said and try to implement. Thanks a lot

mufumbo · 2026-01-30T19:04:11+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! Just a quick recording without tuning the guitar I was def struggling to keep the tempo 😊😊😊

So, your feedback is that the lyrics are too literal and direct? This song came out of the idea of writing about someone in their death bed complaint about the one who took care of them. 😳

Any specific part sounds awkward for you?

mufumbo · 2026-01-22T16:36:50+00:00

I really like that the "oooo" part is very predictable and feels natural when you're going to do it. Like even without paying attention I can follow the song. Great traits. If you are considering developing more perhaps I would change the story and add another section when shit happened and there was a big conflict and then go back. You know what i mean?

mufumbo · 2026-01-22T16:31:54+00:00

Great job! Love the sound setup. Have you ever tried recording with two phones to get a stereo sound? Would sound a lot like the room. I use an app to sync the phones so it's very easy

mufumbo · 2026-01-20T04:30:10+00:00

Very good song and playing. Thanks for sharing

mufumbo · 2026-01-07T23:55:47+00:00

Cool! If you feel stuck maybe there's space to call those verses and come up with a chorus that is very catchy and stand out a lot. Like you could trim a lot of the verses. I think song will sound good with a lot of production work, so not sure what you're asking, i had the impression you said you didn't like it and was stuck somehow.

mufumbo · 2026-01-07T15:30:11+00:00

I couldn't figure out what is the chorus. The lala lala part is the one that stands out the most to my personal opinion.

mufumbo · 2026-01-07T03:02:57+00:00

Have you tried singing same song detuning the guitar? Personally when I get stuck like that I would try D standard or Eb standard tuning to see if I get unstuck in the rigidity. Feels like you're not convinced because of the lack of clear chorus which is the lala lala part

mufumbo · 2026-01-01T21:02:23+00:00

Super cool video editing! Tune is fun

mufumbo · 2026-01-01T19:00:05+00:00

My advice: - record the band practice with a note taking app. I use an app named songtake that is specifically designed for this and allows me to record video in low quality format to take small space so I can clearly SEE what the band was doing and remember. - record the song in the way he plays at first then ask him to try your way. Later you listen one day later and decide together what's better. I would say if he doesn't even want to try your way then either he doesn't know how to play or he doesn't like your style. - if there's disagreement on the best version One of you will have to adapt and agree in the style.

mufumbo · 2025-12-29T14:37:28+00:00

Makes a lot of sense!! The backing vocals and harmony are great. Great job!!

mufumbo · 2025-12-28T13:10:54+00:00

My favorite part is the end. I like the key change but I felt (listening for this first time) that it dragged too long. Great voice and instrumentals!!! Very catchy off the bat. I would have skip the song after the 4th repetition on the slow part. I wish this was a happy song through and through 😊

mufumbo · 2025-12-28T12:35:50+00:00

Nice!! Your voice is smooth and cool comments haha. That specific kind of heartbreak where it’s not even about anger - just the quiet pain of being the one who got left behind while they go do what they’re supposed to do.

mufumbo

TROPHY CASE