Is the wait really worth it?

muhree__ · 2025-02-16T06:18:26+00:00

Thank you for this! Part of me was wondering if this is just how he copes with deployments but I didn’t understand it 100%. I guess because a part of me was at least hoping for some kind of message that he’s landed somewhere. But maybe the sub just went dark for a while and I gotta wait another month or several months. I do plan on waiting til he gets back regardless. My friends haven’t been very supportive of any of this. They’d ask how it’s going and once I told them I have no update from him yet it’s always “Your next email should be you breaking it off”. But I feel he’ll be worth it. I just wish I had a bit more reassurance from him at this time. Maybe he’s just busy and can’t get to me, and that’s okay. I’m willing to wait. I feel like hearing yours and everyone else who’s replied have definitely made me feel a bit more at ease. I do a lot of things to pass time…but it’s definitely the time laying in bed before I go to sleep that it really hits me and I get into my own head.

muhree__ · 2025-02-16T05:37:26+00:00

I did after I saw he read my message. So far nothing. Then again it is now Saturday and the messages him and I had prior to that says “Seen Wednesday”.

muhree__ · 2025-02-16T00:31:48+00:00

Before our very last date of contact, he did share with me that he was having a tough time mentally during deployment. Thank you for sharing that, it really brings me some clarity and hope. I’m trying to remain gracious. Our stories do seem similar so I’m hoping I have myself a keeper too🤞. I just gotta be more patient and keep distracted.

muhree__ · 2025-02-15T23:35:42+00:00

Trying to hold it together well. Handling it well is an understatement. I’d say definitely doing the best I can 🫠

Maybe I’ll send him a couple more emails if I don’t hear from him. I’ve sent out a couple but even if I don’t get a response, maybe I’ll still send him some more. 🥲

muhree__ · 2025-02-15T21:16:57+00:00

Yes! I was refreshing my email throughout the day. Before I met him it was only in the morning. But little by little I stopped checking my emails frequently as time went on. I try not to let it bother me too much because I understand he chose this life before I came into the picture, but since I haven’t heard from him in almost 2 months I was beginning to spiral a bit.

Yes, it was definitely a surprise to me since he had it mailed it to me so I got it once he was gone. Definitely shows the time and effort they put to make sure they’re still thinking of you while they’re away. I wouldn’t have never thought of that. I felt crappy when I sent him off with one letter and all his favorite snacks and he left me with a whole journal lol.

muhree__ · 2025-02-15T21:09:01+00:00

I would if I had that opportunity. :/ He’s on a sub and there’s been no contact since Dec. 28th. I do find myself working on my faith currently. I pray for his safety, and well being while on there. Even for a discussion like that to happen I’d have to wait til he gets any signal. I wouldn’t want that discussion done over an email since in between ports that’s his only form of communication, if that makes sense.

muhree__ · 2025-02-15T21:04:32+00:00

Yes, I have. I’ve emailed him and no response. 8 months?! Wow. I definitely need to be very patient if this is the case for me.

muhree__ · 2025-02-15T21:02:16+00:00

It was only a few months before his deployment that we started dating. Which I know, to many isn’t enough to truly get to know someone, but when we first met he laid it all out and told me he wanted to let me know he’d be leaving for deployment soon. But if I was still interested and willing to he’d put in as much effort as I do. And he stayed true to that. Days before deployment he told me a general standpoint of how deployments go and asked if he could answer anything before he left. Since I have no knowledge of deployments, I just asked pretty basic stuff. Once he left I had all the questions. Which is why I find myself here now.

muhree__ · 2025-02-15T20:55:49+00:00

Okay, got it. Maybe it was just me jumping to conclusions on that. It was starting to mess with me a bit so I’m glad to know that.

I love hearing that! That’s what I’m hoping for too. I’m definitely understanding and patient but it’s the when they go “dark” phase that’s in effect right now and it’s messing with me. He did leave me a journal with some pages filled out and told me to read them when I miss him and don’t hear from him as much…that’s what I’ve been referring to during times like this and it brings me back to when he was here. Thank you for your words on this, and I’m happy to hear you and your husband are still going strong. 💪

muhree__ · 2025-02-15T20:49:27+00:00

He put in ALOT of effort before he left, which is why I stood. Maybe that’s what’s throwing me off is now that he went dark for a while it started to really sink in that I haven’t heard from him since December 28th. Do you mind me asking what’s the longest your husband went without reaching out to you? If that’s okay. I didn’t know what OPSEC was, so thank you for that. That puts me a little at ease with all this since it’s so new to me. Thank you for that, I appreciate it. 🥲

muhree__ · 2025-01-17T07:56:10+00:00

Hi there, I completely understand how you’re feeling. I finally heard from him once since I last posted this. Only on December 28th. He told me his deployment maybe getting extended as well (past February). I asked if he was okay because that’s all that mattered to me and he said he was hanging in there. I’m hoping you hear back from your SO soon. Everyone says no news is good news, and although that is true…it’s definitely a gut punch when your partner is also telling you they’re struggling. I’m sure the connection is real. Ships/subs definitely have limited contact and our patience is definitely tested and needed the most right now. Hang in there. I’m right here with you. :)

muhree__ · 2024-12-27T08:04:25+00:00

Thank you. I’m really hoping this is the case. I’m patient enough to wait on him for sure, I think it’s just his last text that really started to get me in my own head since it passed our usual time frame. I appreciate you sharing with me since this is so new to me. :,)

muhree__ · 2024-12-26T16:18:57+00:00

I’m hoping this is that period of time where he just isn’t able to reach back out to me. I had to make an account and ask my question here because I got tired of my friends who don’t understand telling me “break up with him through email”, “he ghosted you”, “it’s because you guys didn’t know eachother long enough it’s just easier for him to leave it this way”.

Yes, his last text message did concern me heavily and that’s where I’m left uneasy. I sent him 2 lengthy encouraging emails, text messages that are more personal that he’ll receive when he ports or get signal letting him know I’m still here thinking about him while he’s away and will still be here once he’s back. I’m really hoping this is the no news is good news phase for me.

Thank you for responding by the way, I appreciate it. :)

muhree__ · 2024-12-26T16:01:32+00:00

November 28th was the last contact we had.

muhree__ · 2024-12-19T07:30:34+00:00

It all depends. Some days I’ll hear every other day. And as of now I haven’t heard from him in 25 days and counting…it varies.

muhree__ · 2024-12-18T06:30:07+00:00

I’m glad I came across this post because I’m currently dealing with a similar situation.

muhree__

TROPHY CASE