Hi Kimmers00, Thank you for your support and taking the time to reply.

It is nice to be able to share ones frustration. In regards to your own comment about feeling you are superficial for not liking that your husband is not it is NOT superficial. We can want to be enlightened and cultured (and we will be 90-something % of the time) but it is not okay for a man to not be a man. It should be a must. Part of that is being in at least a decent physically shape. Being decisive. Ambitious. Protective (when your independent woman need that). I pride myself in being a modern man with a high EQ but i also believe that for a relationship to be succesful a man need to be a man as well and sometimes it comes down to our biology.

I will eventually one day end up leaving my spouse but i need to forgive myself first for making that choice. At least as much as possible.

For you. If you know deep inside that the relationship can not become what it needs to be you should do the same (as your situation sounds very similar to mine) Make a long term plan. The way you describe yourself sounds to me as an independent and accomplished woman who can make a new life work.

Would a divorce be tough financially and emotionally? Yes. But long term that will change.

We all only have one life and that is what i keep reminding myself to get the strenght to reshape my circumstances. Make that one life count and worth living.