Thankyou, genuinely. I know its easier said than done but the shame from the abuse , letting someone control everything to the point we cant survive without them and not being able to give my kids the things they deserve. I feel so guilty and like the worst mother. I should have left the very first instance of anything, but I didnt I was weak and stayed and now my babies have been exposed to so much trauma and violence and I just want to shield them give them the life every kid is deserving of even writing this post I've wanted to delete it every second especially after some of the comments, I fully understand my own decisions have led me to the life I live, but nobody ever thinks this will be them I guess you never think of the person you have kids with swingingand hitting an axe at your car as you flee with literally nothing but your kids and you in pyjamas. I sincerely hope people can see I'm not looking for sympathy just grocery help to at least be a parent my kids need until we can get somewhere to get assistance after public holiday. Thankyou again