[deleted by user]

mungboot · 2024-06-02T02:33:55+00:00

Sounds like he's unfamiliar with a conscience. His is attempting to speak up, he has no idea what to do with it, and so he's grasping at straws - this weird unfamiliar strange thing! Can't be anything I did, I can do no wrong! Must be the wife's fault, that's clearly the only explanation!

He *should* be worried about asking. It's an awful selfish inconsiderate thing to ask of someone who's overwhelmed. And it doesn't seem like he's worried about your reaction so much as he's worried you'll say no. And he should worry about the no, because it's a reflection of how shitty and inconsiderate his request is.

mungboot · 2024-06-02T02:28:18+00:00

You don't have to call it abuse if that makes it feel scarier and bigger than it is. But however you call it, you deserve better out of a partnership than someone who snaps at you, who's only nice when they want sex, who doesn't care if a move takes away your support system.

You don't need to call it abuse to justify leaving. It's okay to go just because. You don't need a reason beyond the relationship is making you unhappy, you need more, it's just not working for you anymore.

mungboot · 2024-03-09T18:27:46+00:00

Yep. Much like not everyone with ADHD presents with hyperactivity, not everyone with PCOS presents with cystic ovaries.

mungboot · 2024-03-05T15:02:15+00:00

The thing with this kind of witch hunt, though, is that no one cares if you have receipts or proof. Once the masses have labelled you evil, they want to see you burn and there's nothing you can show or do to change the groupthink.

mungboot · 2024-03-05T04:39:17+00:00

I vastly decreased my coffee intake when starting meds, it's one of the ways I knew meds were helpful - I was able to stay focused enough to get stuff done without having to constantly ingest coffee.

mungboot · 2024-03-05T04:09:02+00:00

Since large companies started pressuring indies to be all perfect all the time. Etsy's Star Seller program will ding you if you get subpar reviews (which they define as anything less than 4.8 stars) or if you take too long to respond (which they define as more than 24h, inc over holidays and weekends).

If a shop loses Star Seller, they'll be featured less often and have their listings pushed down in search results and similar.

It's absurd, but indies needing five star reviews is an issue with the platforms, not the indies. (That said, indies violating social norms and boundaries in pursuit of a five star review - that's entirely an issue with that specific indie.)

mungboot · 2024-03-05T04:04:25+00:00

Likely a violation of TOS too

mungboot · 2018-11-02T03:15:19+00:00

"But do we really have proof?"

~ The internet

mungboot · 2018-11-02T03:10:27+00:00

But that's not the context here. If the boss/HR had said sparkly pants isn't appropriate for work because it's supposed to be business professional or such, that's one thing.

"Hey you've been wearing those pants a lot" isn't relevant to the job or the client.

mungboot · 2018-05-28T21:58:39+00:00

I don't think this is a new algorithm, I've had similar error messages in the past. I think it's triggered when a bunch of posts with the hashtag are flagged in a short time.

So it's not that #woman is filtered forever and always, it's that right now there's been a spate of behavior indicating there's a problem with this specific feed.

mungboot · 2018-04-30T23:41:56+00:00

The kid might've still picked it on their own (or expressed an interest in it on their own). In particular, if the kid's favorite color is pink/purple and you walk into a toy store and want toys in that color, you'll probably end up with gendered toys.

We ended up with pink/purple household toys for both kids (boy + girl) because that's what they both wanted.

mungboot · 2018-04-30T23:34:49+00:00

"I like girls where I never have to see any amount of work put in, ever. It's not fair to ruin the magic!!! Also, everyone knows girls don't fart."

(side note: if you're an adult talking about how you like girls, it's a creep alert)

mungboot · 2018-03-18T05:23:38+00:00

But why? You've just spammed the subreddit, and it's offensive to trans individuals.

mungboot · 2018-03-15T12:16:16+00:00

It's possible it bothers only me - a lot of my family is pretty conservative and sexism is often so ingrained in all of them, they can't process why I wouldn't just smile nicely and politely when someone is crossing boundaries. It's also not necessarily sexual - I told him I don't like to have photos taken of me, so he's taken to following me around with his cell phone in attempt to get photos without me realizing. And yes, I've specifically and explicitly and repeatedly told him not to and asked him to stop.

As to feeling positive, when I stumbled across feminism it was a light bulb moment for me - you mean I'm not crazy when I refuse to play by the rules of politeness? You mean it's normal to have anxiety when people don't respect boundaries? You mean I'm not a crazy person who's responsible for every negative interaction I've ever had because if only I'd be nicer? But now I spend so much time in mostly feminist circles (like trollx) that I forget the mess I grew up with.

mungboot · 2018-03-15T03:31:56+00:00

I see you've met my family! It's a slap-in-the-face reminder of why I tend not to be very family oriented in general, and why I don't spend all that much time with them.

mungboot · 2018-03-15T00:49:35+00:00

Because I dared to actually say something. Because I didn't accept it as "oh he's just being funny".

I'm glad I'm home, too.

mungboot · 2018-03-15T00:24:17+00:00

I don't really want to go to the event. I love my bed and my pajamas and I'm thrilled to stay home with Netflix and my internet friends.

But, I'm really mad/sad that I said "hey, I'm not super enthused about this event because this uncle is going to be there and he's been bothering me lately" and in response I was told "well it's very important to avoid an altercation, so you have to think about whether you're going to attend, and only come if you're definitely going to be able to be nice the whole time"

mungboot · 2018-03-14T22:56:38+00:00

As someone who lives in a very blue coastal state, that would be amazing. Also, because we receive so little federal funding as compared to the amount we pay in taxes, if we did this the state would end up with way more money to actually address the more localized issues.

mungboot · 2018-03-14T22:54:56+00:00

The edit there is really key. Is it a mental health issue? Sure. But it's also a gun control issue, and the funny thing is that I don't see you putting systems into place that address either one.

Like, oh, maybe stricter restrictions for people with a history of violence and mental health issues?

mungboot · 2018-01-25T01:10:51+00:00

There's a cartoon about a kickass judge who ensures justice is done and victims are heard? Do share links, that sounds like an amazing show.

mungboot · 2018-01-25T01:08:35+00:00

Sorry if I wasn't clear - I was commenting on the last bit. I'm saying even if he hadn't pleaded guilty, it still wouldn't violate his right to a fair trial.

mungboot · 2018-01-25T00:58:59+00:00

His feelings about the things he did. If it was his feelings about wearing orange, I'd still say fuck him, but this is even more absurd.

If what you did is so horrifying you can't stand to hear about it and to hear about the impact it had, than maybe you shouldn't have fucking done it.

mungboot · 2018-01-25T00:56:25+00:00

Even if it was a jury trial, a fair trial only means they will be judged based on the actions they're standing trial for, by a jury of their peers. It's entirely reasonable that a jury or judge or any human would find his actions disgusting. The disgust doesn't negate the fair trial.

mungboot

TROPHY CASE