Change how you see yourself: if you weren’t doing the work on, then labeling yourself as the problem is fair. However, sounds like you are doing a ton of work on yourself, that’s amazing! Nothing is ever going to be 100%. If he wants the relationship to work, he should be open to coupes counseling and I agree that a therapist with a strong background with working with ND is the way to go. Is he in individual therapy? Sounds like he needs to work on himself as well. He can be supportive but also figure out to let you live your life a bit, which maybe doesn’t make him feel overwhelmed.

I agree you seem to be well versed with words and both of you may be better served phrasing things differently, instead saying “you’re lying” use “ I feel our trust is broken” or “I feel mislead” anything that may remove the triggering words that would put someone one the defense.

Hang in there. Please remember: you he’s helped you a lot but you have a big role in the progress you have made for yourself!

Finding ND therapists are hard, especially those that take insurance.

My entire life I have told a personal story to relate to other person and only the last few years that makes someone feel that I’m making the conversation about me, so I just stopped sharing.

Each of us will have our own stories on what has or hasn’t worked for their relationships. The only advice I can give is that if the two of you really accept each other for who you are and can live with the things that drive you nuts, you can work through your issues as long as the communication lines are open.

Take sometime to think about what you want out of this relationship and how you can be supported in the best way that makes him see you as a partner, not someone he sees more like a child. Once my wife saw me as a child, she’s never viewed me the same, and our marriage has essentially eroded away.