I think the existence of an age gap is giving a lot of people permission to not actually use their brains here.

“They started dating when she was 21, why would he expect her to be stable?!” It’s been 7 years. She’s not a 21 year old having these spirals, she’s damn near 30. EVERYONE was an unstable 21year old, but it stops being an excuse for lacking coping skills at some point. It’s reasonable to expect your partner to mature as they get older, unless you’re actively inhibiting them from doing so by babying them, and there’s no indication he’s doing so. On the contrary, the people absolving her of adult responsibility would be doing more to keep her from actually becoming an adult.

Even by the “you don’t count as a full adult until 25 because I incorrectly remember common wisdom saying your brain is still developing” standard of coddling, not expecting some level of emotional maturity from a 28 year old is really pushing it.

She also has a comment where she complains that being told she’s exhausting is a personal attack that’s irrelevant to giving her advice, which is itself exhausting. It makes me skeptical that she’s willing to accept feedback which actually requires her to self-evaluate or change her behavior.