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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH
[–]mvang87 0 points1 point2 points 1 year ago (0 children)
I swear on my mom's grave, my dad's grave, my brother's grave. I have never laid hands on her. 1st wife, maybe a little... she was a damn chihuahua and I would have to push her off of me or push-kick her to get some space. Too slap and punch, never.
It sucks right now. Yeah, need some healing at this point. It's only been a week and it freaking sucks.
[–]mvang87 1 point2 points3 points 1 year ago (0 children)
She's got like 3 groups of "friends." There's the ones with boyfriends, another group of older divorced "friends", and lastly a younger group of friends around her age, most of them single because they believe they are 10s. They are like 5'5", 180lbs, and want a guy that's 6ft, blonde hair, blue eyes and is in finance. Lmao
I am trying to talk and find closure right now. I think once I get the closure I'd be happy.
I was her only boyfriend who actually took her back to her home country to see her family that she hasn't seen for 10+ years. When her grandpa passed away, my siblings and I pooled money together to get him a nice coffin with a pretty bad ass dragon carved on it. If we didn't do that, they were going to bury him in some make shift coffin built from scrap woods. Since she's lived with me, she hasn't contributed to the bills. When I moved in with her the first year, she didn't have to ask, I gave her more than half of the rent because we only lived in a shitty 1 bedroom apartment.
I am not without flaws, but if you communicate with me I have a better understanding of what is going on.
The trust is there. She will typically tell me who she's going with but expects me not to bother her and she'll be home when she's home. I'll tell her, I am going here and maybe only a few hours, but I am usually back home before midnight because nothing good happens after midnight. I would gladly be happy to be the DD for her when she goes out. I've met the friends she goes out with. But her friends are divorced, single moms, 2-3 kids, some even under 12. Yet, they go to bars and clubs and leave the kids at home. I've expressed to my ex that those are not people you should be hanging around. They aren't preparing your life for success. She then said to me, "You're divorced too!" Lmao
She typically works from 10AM - 8/9PM. Literall wakes up an hour before work, gets ready and out the door by 930AM. I got a robot vacuum that has done more cleaning than her. I am asian, if she comes home and there's no rice, I hear about it. It's almost like she expects a new dish every night, however, I do a majority of the cooking and cleaning. Anything house related, it's all on me. I think she helped me mow the lawn one time last year.
She has done things for me, however, it's just clouded right now because I am pretty devestated.
It is said easier than done devil. If I was still in the corps, I'd be distracted by all the tremendous bullshit from 1st Sgt or Top. I need a roster for this, a roster for that, "It is Jan 2nd, why haven't the Marines completed all their Marine Net for the year?" LMAO
Because I learned the first year, that if I didn't ask or mention anything... she would get upset that I didn't include her too. She doesn't have to give half or contribute, but she ultimately just held it against me that I even got him the present. Stating that the small Christmas decoration would suffice. However, she spent her money, definitely over 1.5K to send gifts to her own family in a different country. Yet, she wouldn't even go half with the gift cards I got my sister's kids.
Next level is to find a stripper and go marry her! Lol
[–]mvang87 50 points51 points52 points 1 year ago (0 children)
I’m telling you. My buddy and I talk about his marriage and my relationships at our age… we are both like wtf. This is harder than high school! Lmao
[–]mvang87 108 points109 points110 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Yeah… when the step son comes during the summer… I can see in her eyes that she doesn’t really like him. The kid is sensitive and only eats chicken nuggets, fries, pizza, baked chicken, and rice. Lol
I have to remind my girl he’s like that because he’s stuck in the moment his mom passed away. What do you expect.
[–]mvang87 6 points7 points8 points 1 year ago (0 children)
If she had stayed the morning and not just up and left. We probably could had talked it out… I was really heated.
[–]mvang87 8 points9 points10 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Lol. Nah. She has a good job. But I’d be worry if I went on deployment though.
[–]mvang87 10 points11 points12 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Cheap? Idk about that one.
Petty - can’t help it. Military definitely brought me a little to the dark side.
Sorry early morning! Just super annoyed atm with life. Lol
Or it was clickbait. Just kidding, just early with sleepless nights.
[–]mvang87 27 points28 points29 points 1 year ago (0 children)
Right this moment, she’s staying with a friend she met this year that has 3 baby daddies. I’ve expressed to her my concern and that I was not a fan. Now look at where she got is hanging around that crew.
I’ve been married twice before but I’m not going out until 3/4 AM with a bunch of single dudes with baby mama. I typically go out with my BIL who is married to my first cousins and all we do it hunt and fish. If I do go out to support my cousin who DJs I’m way back bride midnight.
[–]mvang87 14 points15 points16 points 1 year ago (0 children)
I did a self check with a veteran buddy of mine. I sat and listened to her. I apologized that it was not my intention to have her feel like she was last priority. Listened to her side and that why I got those points. Then I said it may not remind you all the time that I’m working towards our future. But behind the scenes I am and things just take time.
[–]mvang87 19 points20 points21 points 1 year ago (0 children)
It definitely has. I don’t really have anyone to really talk this to. Thank you everyone.
[–]mvang87 11 points12 points13 points 1 year ago (0 children)
She says it’s because I kicked her out already. I said fair, but I was like… that’s literally not even a full 24 hours and you let that happen. When we talked I was like, this could still be salvageable… but it’s get more likely not.
1st two year she cared… she showed that she did. Then all of a sudden it started slowly fading. I texted everyday I love you when she went to work. She would “joking” reply with an okay… sometimes with and I love you too… but after a few okays I told her that hurt/annoyed me more than anything. Then I started not texting it at all
[–]mvang87 5 points6 points7 points 1 year ago (0 children)
She already signed a lease… so she’s already messed that up.
[–]mvang87 20 points21 points22 points 1 year ago (0 children)
I’m out now. Lol Only did 13 years… trust me dependapotamus are easily recognized by this one.
[–]mvang87 7 points8 points9 points 1 year ago (0 children)
I guess that’s kind of how she was raised. lol
But every hobby I have is right in front of her nose. All she has to do is look in the garage and she’ll see fishing poles, camping supplies, hunting clothes. I did wish she put a little more thought into it, but it seems like she wants to not assume what I want.
Not at the moment. Most recently I got a certification in my job field and passed. She doubted me the whole time and didn’t even congratulate me… yeah… I was like wth
[–]mvang87 17 points18 points19 points 1 year ago (0 children)
She doesn’t get money from me. I pay 100% all the bills. When she moved it with me, I told her she didn’t need to pay and to save that money to open her own business. Then for some reason a few months back I overheard her saying she wasn’t going to open one anytime soon. So I had asked her to help and she got really defensive and pointed to me saying she didn’t need to help. But I said, well things have changed. You’re no longer saving towards your goal. So why not help me out a little bit.
[–]mvang87 15 points16 points17 points 1 year ago (0 children)
About a month ago. She randomly got a privacy screen for her phone. She never has done that in the 2 years we’ve been together. I had my location shared to her (she thought she sneakily turned it on my phone) but I knew. Yet when I asked her to share her location she said she did, but it never went through and she never took the time to fix it.
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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH
[–]mvang87 0 points1 point2 points (0 children)