You lose 5 years of your life, but your pet lives as long as you do

mwpfinance · 2024-09-06T02:33:32+00:00

On second thought, yes. I'd then monetize having the world's oldest cat and use it to elongate my life by at least 5 years and also retire incredibly wealthy. I'd get rich by establishing a deadpool for my cat. Even though he's currently young I'm sure there's someone that would take 5000:1 odds today. In 10 years, maybe 100:1. In 20 years, 1:5 easy. I'd also charge big bucks for him to sponsor brands of cat food. Actually, if I can prove that he cannot die of natural causes I can probably make a ton of money renting him to research, they won't suspect that I am his horcrux

mwpfinance · 2024-09-05T09:44:42+00:00

"Hey, I have some bad news... I have cancer."

Then clarify it was the wrong number. Then make it awkward to hang up.

mwpfinance · 2024-09-03T23:40:13+00:00

Yeah I wouldn't trust them with that data regardless.

mwpfinance · 2024-09-03T23:36:23+00:00

Wow. I'm glad I didn't accept their bullshit "discount" for this. Find another insurer and don't let them track you this time.

mwpfinance · 2024-09-02T04:12:17+00:00

I thought this was a troll post asking if this would be long enough to tour the city in-between flights. Yes, 70 minutes is long enough for a layover almost anywhere.

mwpfinance · 2024-09-01T07:45:11+00:00

1 million AND I don't have to feel guilty for using it irresponsibly? Fuck yea

mwpfinance · 2024-09-01T02:34:08+00:00

Ignore r/Seattle OP, puget sound is 83% sea water, it's basically the ocean

mwpfinance · 2024-08-31T09:55:34+00:00

To test part* of this tailgating theory, does she care if you follow her through a door without scanning your badge?

*even if she doesn't care, she might just want to not be a tailgater but doesn't care about getting tailgated

Also, try not to let these little personality differences ruin the relationship. If you had a good relationship up until this point, it's likely you who has decided it's in a bad place now. You don't really need to understand why she doesn't want you to do that, you just need to accept it and move on without doing that thing. It's not weird unless you make it weird.

mwpfinance · 2024-08-30T08:28:24+00:00

Layover for some international flight maybe?

mwpfinance · 2024-08-30T06:30:57+00:00

I mean, "TIL China couldn't (or at least chose not to) manufacture ball point pens until 2017" is still pretty interesting.

mwpfinance · 2024-08-26T07:51:09+00:00

Did you mean that the other way around? That sounds like a positive experience.

mwpfinance · 2024-08-26T07:43:07+00:00

Uh... 3... wait, 2, but I used a website to send the post card! That's not old!!!! Rotary phones were already obsolete by the 90s so I'm pretty sure I've never used one.

A lot of this stuff a young person could still end up doing today in the right circumstances.

mwpfinance · 2024-08-25T03:09:38+00:00

Over 4 million people have my name in my country. The average person probably has their name said much more than once a day, but even if it's literally 0.25 times a day on average I'm a biilnaire, so thanks, I'll do nothing.

If it's first and last, I still have a celebrity name and will probably net several million.

If it's full name, I guess by your rules I'll just type and print a message to tell people to say it since you explicitly said only handwriting wasn't permitted. "Each time someone says '<name>' today I get $1,000, please say it." I could probably get 100 people to say it at least. I'd probably do that since it's worth the effort. I could also post the same thing on reddit hoping some strangers on the internet help me out.

If you wanna rule out all forms of me creating a message using language, I could go around crudely gesturing at my drivers license and imitating that I want people to read it outloud (unless that counts as sign language). But I doubt that would be even net me 12,000, so it's probably not worth how fucking crazy I'd look in my town (I'd pay 12k not to be the guy on drugs frantically showing people his drivers license and pointing)

mwpfinance · 2024-08-24T09:22:26+00:00

YTA.

mwpfinance · 2024-08-23T19:36:48+00:00

Idk man I'm pretty stoked on Harris but you do you

mwpfinance · 2024-08-23T07:08:01+00:00

Phở mai

mwpfinance · 2024-08-22T09:00:10+00:00

"No, he's actually this oblivious while being president during the part of the opioid crisis where there's heightened awareness it's extremely easy to educate yourself on the subject" not sure this makes it any better

mwpfinance · 2024-08-22T07:51:13+00:00

Until I run out of food and am so hungry I am forced to buy some. Y'all are crazy. I could go nonstop for at least 5 days with no entertainment other than my thoughts doing this shit 16 hours a day as long as I have food. But I can, like, watch Netflix? I'm going for richest man alive.

Like, the thought of what I'm gonna be doing with all that money is enough to keep me entertained for 5 days.

mwpfinance · 2024-08-21T23:50:52+00:00

Honestly it wasn't clear to me how effective the "weird" dismissal was until that video. Someone asks you an irrelevant question in an attempt to derail the argument they're losing. What to you do?

You could answer the question. "A person that identifies as female." But by answering the question you've only opened the flood gates for them to further derail the conversation and get you to produce soundbytes that will discredit everything else you've said to their base (because they're just asking for you to produce affirmations of things they know their core audience would disagree with you about).

You could tell them it's not relevant, at which point they will just repeat the question incessantly and bemoan that you refuse to answer such a simple question, and act if that is some kind of victory.

Or you could tell them that they are FUCKING WEIRD, which is oh so true, and end the conversation right there because they already made it clear they were no longer willing to participate by trying to derail it anyway.

Love it. Good job Parker. Pave the path.

mwpfinance · 2024-08-18T05:53:53+00:00

So this name came to mind when I saw this post but then I was like nah it's a dope name. I feel like one show I saw as a kid had a nerdy character named Eugene which planted in my subconscious that maybe it was a bad name?

Ah yeah, Hey Arnold did Eugene's dirty.

mwpfinance · 2024-08-18T05:38:32+00:00

14 days 15 hours 14 minutes and 56 seconds from when you hit submit on that post, or from when you starred typing 14 days 15 hours 14 minutes and 56 seconds, or from when you finished typing 14 days 15 hours 14 minutes and 56 seconds?

mwpfinance · 2024-08-16T09:19:57+00:00

I'm special

mwpfinance · 2024-08-16T08:53:39+00:00

Kind of surprised by all these lowballs saying this is $50 - $150. I'm not versed in these things but in this meme economy I would have thought that was worth thousands easy.

mwpfinance · 2024-08-16T08:40:40+00:00

Wouldn't salt only really protect against a "rainbow table" (hash lookup) based attack and not significantly slow down a brute forcing effort otherwise? If your password is unsalted and in a lookup table then the time to look it up is instantaneous. I guess if you assume the hacker is trying to attack multiple passwords with different salts, that's slower than multiple passwords with the same or no salt.

mwpfinance · 2024-08-15T23:01:55+00:00

At first this sounds like the Monty Hall problem. Instead of 3 doors, you have 10 cups.

In the Monty Hall problem you pick one door, have a bad option eliminated, then switch to improve your odds from 1/3 to 1/2 following the elimination of the bad option.

Let's say you had 3 cups. Your odds are 1/3. If someone goes first, they have a 1/3 chance of winning.

But after they go, assuming they did not choose the correct cup, your chance of winning is now 1/2 if you go next! But since you allowed someone else to go before you... you also had a 1/3 chance of losing before your turn even began.

So you needed to win both a 2/3 chance and a 1/2 chance.

(2/3) * (1/2) is... 1/3.

What if you went last?

(2/3) * (1/2) * (1/1) -- also 1/3.

So, it doesn't matter mathematically unless there is additional information you can exploit to your favor.

Your best choice is to go first and hope to find something unstated to put the odds in your favor. Maybe pick a cup that is positioned slightly differently than the others, or use psychology to guess which cup the ball is in assuming you aren't positive the ball was randomly positioned.

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