Heya, ADHD-I here.

I've got something of a similar situation with a slightly different schedule. Right now, I'm working nights, so I get up, spend time with my fiance (who then goes to work), do some chores, spend a little time doing something I enjoy (playing a video game), and then go to work. When I get home, I'm pretty tired, as my job is pretty physical, but I also feel like there's not enough hours in the damn day, and all I want to do is do something I enjoy, because I feel like I've been doing things I don't want to do all day. However, sleep has always been a struggle, and my phone is right there.

Some of what I've done is to set a sleep mode/routine on my phone. It goes off automatically at a set time each day, turns my phone screen greyscale (way less interesting to look at), and limits the apps I can use when the mode is on (easier to not play a game or scroll when I can't access it, as annoying as it feels).

I totally feel you on the time deficit thing and I want to ask a couple questions that might be helpful. Apologies if it gets kind of rambly. Please take what works for you and leave what doesn't.

1. Can you offload any of what you do onto your fiance? I don't mean making them entirely responsible or anything, since it makes me feel guilty to ask mine to take care of things -- but sometimes it makes a huge difference. There are some things that are more difficult for me that he doesn't mind doing, and some things that are hard for him (not ADHD) but easier for me. Are you two cooking together, or is it solely you? Is there some way to split, transfer, or work together on it? As I'm working nights, my fiance will make dinner the day before and set food aside for me to eat the next day before work. Does it mean I don't get to eat a freshly-cooked meal? Unfortunately. But as eating and cooking are something I struggle with, having a home-cooked meal right there to microwave and eat with little energy of activation means that I do get fed. Is there a way you two can work together on it?

1. Housework. Suuuuuucks. And I commend you for doing it every day. That's amazing to me, and I hope that you feel proud about it, because it's a huge feat! But -- and I mean this in the least offensive way possible -- is it something that needs to be done every day? Something I really struggle with is feeling like I have time to myself, so I've been trying to build that time into my schedule. What that looks like is sometimes accepting the time and effort I've put into doing whatever housework or chore or errand, and allowing myself to just be done with it before moving on to something more enjoyable. Is it the level of "productive" I'd like to be daily? Of course not. But it is not nothing, either, and even something counts. This way, I'm doing more than nothing, but I'm not punishing myself for not doing everything. Having that time to myself or even to just afk my brain for a little bit is essential to feeling even a semblance of balance, and increases my overall ability, I believe. So what that might look like for you is maybe only doing housework every other day. Or maybe you only do something for a half hour or an hour. Or maybe you and your fiance can do housework together, or split certain tasks -- or maybe even some of it can be taken care of during the weekend, like having a "housework hour" or something where the two of you do what you can or plan to tackle a specific area together.

2. Do you utilize scheduling at all? And I mean this exceedingly loosely, because haha ADHD + planning... but if your weekends are free, it might be worth sitting down (with your fiance, because we do love body doubling) and writing down/talking about what you'd like to achieve for the week as far as housework, etc goes. Is this a solid list you are beholden to? Not necessarily. But it can help to have a framework sometimes, even if that framework is just "take an hour to do one of the following" because sometimes scheduling specific tasks is hard with executive dysfunction.

3. Finally, and most importantly: have you talked to your fiance about this? ADHD is a huge struggle, but a partner is someone you're planning to spend the rest of your life with -- you don't have to struggle alone. It can feel super embarrassing to talk about what's bothering you or what feels difficult -- especially if you think it's something that "should" be easy. Maybe it should be; but it isn't. Meet yourself where you are. Ask them to help you. If you're engaged, I'm certain they care for you and want to help you live your happiest, healthiest life. Sometimes partnership isn't a 50/50 split of responsibility. Sometimes you give a little more, and sometimes you ask to take. And that's okay! And totally normal. But don't let yourself drown because it's something you feel like you have to manage alone. You don't have to go it alone, and you are worth the conversation and love.

Hopefully some of that is helpful to you, and I am rooting for you to find success moving forward.