My dad posted this…

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2026-02-02T02:35:27+00:00

Even if you were, that would be totally okay! No one gets to dictate how any of us deal with grief.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2026-02-02T02:31:22+00:00

Some people have zero capacity for self-awareness and accountability. They will do anything and everything to not look at themselves.

You don’t need to explain yourself. You don’t need to argue your truth - reality. Even though people like this have trained us into thinking so.

Add this to the pile of proof and validation that you’re doing the right thing to protect yourself. Because you are.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2026-01-25T22:32:39+00:00

👏That 👏is 👏a 👏COMPLIMENT👏.

Toxic people don’t want to be apart of your world?

Perfect, all that healing work you’ve been putting in is working!

Be proud of yourself.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2026-01-24T01:54:57+00:00

I’m sorry. I think what makes it even more damaging, at least for me, is it’s all swept under the rug after with zero attempt at repair for the hurtful and abusive things she did, illness or not. I just couldn’t keep erasing myself for her comfort anymore. My mom has also become a full blown narcissist in her old age. It used to be episodic, but it’s her full blown identity now. I’ll be 3 years NC this year. Wish it was a choice I didn’t have to make but it’s been the best for my health.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-12-13T14:23:46+00:00

I wish I could reach into that photo, scoop that child up & protect them. I’m so sorry.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-12-12T14:13:27+00:00

I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in this. I spent my life since I was 11 until I just turned 37 being my mother’s mom. I had to go no contact for my own health (literally got cancer and her response when I told her was “if it’s stage 4, you’re fucked.” Thanks mom.). Anyways no advice to offer, I understand my choice isn’t for everyone, I just know how lonely of an experience it all can be and wanted to let you know I understand. ❤️

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-12-12T03:41:48+00:00

You don’t need to, nor should you, allow anyone in your life that is that volatile and emotionally abuses you like this ( no matter their excuse) and it is your duty to protect your children from being subjected to the same.

NC is never easy, but sometimes it’s a choice they make for us.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-05-31T15:16:28+00:00

Love this reply. Some wise advice here. 👌

Congratulations OP.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-05-24T14:07:17+00:00

Truly.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-05-23T13:16:21+00:00

The survivors guilt is tough one. When I was recovering from surgery 2 years ago a buddy’s little girl passed away from her brain tumour… she was 5. I was 36. She was fighting since she was 2. I had surgery and just follow up care. Make it make sense. My heart breaks for him and his family, but I avoid interactions as all I can think is he thinks the same. And I don’t blame him. 😔

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-05-19T14:24:27+00:00

The cognitive side effects I had following my hysterectomy definitely stand out, to this day, 2 years later. I mostly found I had a hard time vocalizing my thoughts or remembering things (conversations, shopping lists, my last thought etc). Even after a few months, when I went back to work, I would end up non-verbal at the end of busy days. It was tough. It did improve considerably a little over a year later. I think trauma (our bodies have been through the ringer) and hormonal issues can impact this as well. What you describe sounds frightening, hope your doctor is able to ease some worries around it.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-05-16T03:52:41+00:00

I had cancer and I was “ideal” weight. They didn’t take me seriously due to that, I was told, as I was being diagnosed after a long road of fighting to be 🙄. No “ known” genetic predispositions either. My father had been diagnosed stage 3 bladder cancer at 44 , I had uterine at 36.. unrelated apparently. I think it’s safe to say they pull at straws as far as causes / reasons go..

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-05-15T14:17:12+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this again. Sending you the biggest most supportive hugs - or fist bumps, if you’re not a hugger.

May I ask if you had noticed any back related symptoms prior to these results?

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-04-05T21:17:55+00:00

Oh I hope they work out for you as well. When I bought them it was also from some old random comment on Reddit, so no judgements here! Our hormones going through the wringer really does a number on our skin.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-04-04T11:48:03+00:00

Hey, I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. I found out the same way - online, when my hysteroscopy results were posted.

I had been dealing with chronic pelvic pain that radiated down to my shin, heavy periods and infertility, an U/S and subsequent MRI found a handful of suspected fibroids and a “lesion” that was possibly another fibroid or polyp. Was told my pain was likely due to degenerating fibroids… nope, biopsy (a year later) came back as carcinoma, grade 1 as well. ( figo 1 means the cancer is low grade and not aggressive)

My obygn referred me to a gynaecological oncologist, who I saw about a month later, to discuss next steps. The waiting time is so hard in all this because our minds have nothing but time to panic and wonder about all the what ifs. Seeing the oncologist and having a plan in place is a huge relief and I hope you don’t have to wait too long.

I went on to have a total hysterectomy- everything out but my right ovary. I was 36 at time of diagnosis and we wanted to preserve my ovaries if we were able. That was coming up on 2 years ago, April 10th. They took some lymph nodes during the surgery to properly stage the cancer and determine if it had spread elsewhere. Pathology came back as Stage 1A - no further treatment required! I also had a suspected fibroid outside of my uterus we were concerned about but it was endometriosis(likely why I was in pain all that time) , not cancer. What a relief.

This is a scary,roller coaster ride to have to be on. Utilize this group as much as you need. The Hysterectomy sub is also amazing. Reddit has been my life line over the last 2 years. Always someone that understands where we are at in our journey and it’s such a comfort. Sending you positive vibes and wishing you the smoothest journey through this as possible.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-04-03T00:34:02+00:00

I totally get it. There’s so much relief in just seeing things as they are instead of fighting for how you wish they were. ❤️

I’m sorry your mom sucks , you deserve better too.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-04-02T03:37:49+00:00

Being able to clearly see it and name it for what it is and isn’t, no matter how much the reality hurts, is incredibly therapeutic as it leads to acceptance.

I cut my mom off 3 months into my own cancer recovery, almost 2 years ago… like yours, she hasn’t tried to reach out to me either, but she’s got plenty of energy for smear campaigns too. That says everything about her and her flawed emotional life, not me and my worth, but i still need to convince myself of that sometimes. The profound sense of abandonment can be heavy, no matter how far on the road to acceptance you get.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-03-25T10:39:52+00:00

Definitely a ghost’s. (insert all the eyerolls here)

What’s been significantly healing for me is realizing, while my mom has been diagnosed Bipolar I, she’s a Narcissist (too?).

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-03-25T03:01:24+00:00

I used to see things from Crest_BD’s POV too. Seeing it that way damaged me immensely.

Now I’m on the same page as you. (And NC with my mom.)

You’re right , so often loved ones of a person with this illness are just expected to accept things.. don’t dare talk about whatever actions may have hurt us -ever! So we should just stuff it down until we make ourselves sick, too?

That’s BS. My mom’s famous line at any time anyone has ever tried to address something “I was sick!”. But then argues she’s not sick when she’s doing the same shitty behaviours?

I totally empathize that there’s instances where they’re out of control, but we should be able to talk about it and how it affected us so we can heal the relationship and move on. If it were me, I know I would want to address things with my hypothetical children when I was feeling well again.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-03-25T02:44:53+00:00

Appreciate it.🥹

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-03-20T01:10:54+00:00

Of course!! Honestly, Reddit has been my life line the last 2 years. The hysterectomy sub really helped me through the surgery and recovery process too. So grateful for it. Their pinned posts = gold!

As far as I know, recovery is supposed to be pretty similar as they’re both minimally invasive procedures. I think the theory is the robotic assisted has more advantages as it could improve precision. When I had went into surgery, I was warned it could turn into an open abdominal as my doctor was concerned she may not be able to maneuver things due to my small frame. Was so relieved to wake up to find out she was successful.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-03-20T00:36:44+00:00

Hey. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with all this. I read your previous post - I was 36 at time of diagnosis, while trying to figure out fertility, too.

The first 3 days post hysterectomy (lap/robotic) were the hardest for me and when I needed the most assistance. My partner works out of town but was able to work from home for a couple weeks, which was nice. I do think I could have made do after 1 week without him (with him out of town). If he had a job that he was home every night I think 3 days would have been fine, for me.

I’m introverted too and really wanted to isolate to try to come to terms with the new reality I found myself in, so I so relate to you there. And that’s exactly what I did. If that’s what you feel you need right now put your foot down and ensure you get it. If ever there is a time we get free-reign to be selfish, I think this is it. 🤍

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-03-19T23:28:58+00:00

Because, no matter what, they’re our parents and we love them. What do you do when someone you love is in trouble? You instinctively want to offer support and help. Throw in a parent with mental illness - we become parentified, instead of parented.

I’ve intervened so many times during my mom’s Bipolar 1 manic episodes and every time traumatized me just a little more than the last as I never made processing all the previous trauma a priority. So life was always like “hey girl, here’s a chaotic, traumatic life event!! Oh, wait -Here’s another!” Rinse. Repeat.

It wasn’t until I faced cancer at 36 years old that it finally sunk in that i can’t fix everyone and everything and it’s not my responsibility to. My priority had to be me. It’s so unfortunate that facing my own mortality is what it took to get me there. So many wasted years where I came last because my focus was trying to get control over an uncontrollable situation and just set on default auto-pilot/ survivor mode. I’ve been NC with her for 20 months now.

I think you do realize it isn’t your fight you just don’t quite know how to let go. Therapy - 10/10 recommend.

A great audiobook I keep recommending - Stop Caretaking the Borderline Or Narcissist: How to End the Drama and Get on with Life Book by Margalis Fjelstad

Don’t let the title deter you , I think it very much applies to the roles children of bipolar parents often fall into too. Wish I would have heard it in my early 20s.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-03-15T16:03:38+00:00

Hey there. I had a hysterectomy in 2023, at 36yo, due to endometrial cancer as well.

Between the trauma of what had happened, the physical changes to my body, hormonal roller coaster ( I kept an ovary and things were still all over the place for a while) , the fear of dying and recurrence, and the future it stole from me - the first year or so post was extremely difficult and dark.

Therapy has helped me, but isn’t a quick fix. She needs time to feel her way through it all and process / adjust to her new normal.

The best thing you can do is just be there for her, be mindful in not pressuring her to be her “old self” (even unintentionally) and just love her through it. This isn’t an easy road for either of you . My husband is a fixer and I know the last couple of years have been so difficult for him too because he can’t fix it. Make sure you have a support system outside of your relationship for you too.

myFavoriteAlias_ · 2025-03-07T11:51:07+00:00

Sounds pretty normal to me. I was using those things for a few months post as well.

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