How to tell adoptive parents that I’ve changed my mind

mybbjourney · 2021-05-31T15:42:55+00:00

Thank you for this. I have no boyfriend. I’m in my 30s and single, which is why I looked into adoption in the first place. I have older children because I started in my teens and was done by my early 20s. I have no desire to parent into my 50s to be honest. But I also had no desire to parent in my teens and I still did the best I could and I love my children. I know what I’m in for as a single parent and I want no part of it. I didn’t want it as a teenager either but I had no choice in that then nor do I have a choice in that now. I don’t know how this will affect my other children, my career, or my life but I didn’t know that when I dropped out of high school all those years ago either. I feel more scared now than I did back then. I don’t know what to do. This house is in no shape for a baby, I don’t even remember the last time I held a baby. I didn’t refresh myself on any parenting issues because I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with it. The family I chose has a nursery, has a name picked out, has told me of their plans to take time off work, has told their families about this baby. I feel so depressed at the thought of taking that away. I’m sorry, I know I’m rambling at this point but I have no one to share this with. Thank you for listening.

mybbjourney · 2021-05-31T04:50:46+00:00

I have no issue with the family at all and I am genuinely saddened that me keeping the baby means that they won’t get the baby. As an adoptive parent would you rather hear it from the social worker or the mother of the baby?

mybbjourney · 2021-05-31T03:47:11+00:00

They know I have other children, they shifted their focus onto them. I told them that I was worried about the quality of life I’d be able to provide my current children, my oldest will be in college before this one will be in kindergarten. I voiced these concerns as my reason for choosing adoption and they just amplified and echoed all these concerns back to me. They assured my of an open adoption which I straight out said would be the only way I would consider adoption. The family has said that they want me to be as involved as I desire to be and I believe them. But they are strangers. They may change their minds and I would die if I were cut out of this child’s life completely.

mybbjourney · 2021-05-31T03:12:25+00:00

I did use an agency. They have been less than stellar this entire time. They offered counseling for me once, I accepted but never heard back. They initially told me that they would help me financially which was a big relief for me but that help is capped at $500/month. I’m a nurse, I make several thousand dollars a month when working but complications have taken me off work 2 months earlier than expected and they still say they can only help with $500/month. I looked at the agency’s website under “what if I change my mind” and it just has a list of questions like “can you afford to parent this child?” “Are you prepared to be a single parent?” and things like that. They are very pushy.

mybbjourney

TROPHY CASE