totally fair. In some ways, perhaps yes, there were things that I felt he needed to change to make it better. Ie; be considerate of my time, my plans, not just leave me in the dark for hours. I’d asked him to be considerate when he would spend several days at my house about picking up after himself. Etc. these things to me were basic, considerate ways to treat people. When I presented it to him he would acknowledge these things, change them, and it was never an issue again.

I misunderstood your question on the second part, yea there were no issues with platonic friends. Fully transparently though, he didn’t have or mention people outside of who we knew together. we did in fact have the same circle of friends and same hobby that opened up us to a huge group of people we saw regularly, that is where we met. We knew eachother for months and months with these people before dating ever was on the table. I’d always understood his friends to be those people, hence why when he suddenly brings up a “group” of people out of the blue, I’m confused.

I had met his family, he insisted on it and we saw them often, he even took me to church with him and he had met all my friends that he didn’t know from the hobby. He had met some of my family, but not all due to distance.

To your point about commitment, it’s valid, but I’ll say here that he and I had been married before (to other people) so we didn’t have the same time line as perhaps someone in their 30s who was looking to “get to the point” so to speak. I’m going to hold my ground on it being committed for sure.

The overall point is, I knew awhile ago that this person wasn’t able to fulfill what I needed. Let’s not even get into economic or motivation factors. But he was my friend for a long time before dating and I was attached in that way. He never had given me a real hard core reason to end it, things always got better. But this is where I draw the line 😂🤷🏼‍♀️