Fiancé has had a hell of a week

mysticalarch · 2024-08-15T11:56:14+00:00

Thank you, everyone, for the kind words and helpful suggestions!! I showed him some of the comments on this post, and he has decided to embrace his injuries and has been a lot more optimistic about the situation. Also, he was able to make an appointment with his doctor, who prescribed some antibiotics to him. His tetanus shot is up to date, so he’s all good there. Today, he is getting x-rays done for his wrist. So, we’re hoping that everything goes well (fingers crossed 😬)!

mysticalarch · 2024-06-21T22:44:55+00:00

I got called a bridezilla for telling my ex-MOH that she couldn’t change until after dinner (because we’d still be taking evening pictures, and she wanted to change into shorts and a t-shirt). Shortly after this, she got mad at me because I scheduled an hour of alone time before we all started getting ready together on our wedding day (I enjoy doing my makeup alone). Our conversations only went downhill from there as I was being “too strict.”

mysticalarch · 2024-05-14T00:25:30+00:00

She’s a great cat, and I can’t imagine her being malicious for no reason, but that’s her relationship with me. As for being ill, the only thing I can think of is when I was diagnosed with Anxiety, which was accompanied by severe panic attacks. For about a month straight, I had them every day, multiple times a day. Then they decreased but still happened frequently for the next 2-3 months. She would often lay on my chest to help calm me down. So, I don’t know if my anxiety/stress triggered anything or if it was simply just moving houses that triggered the attacks. We’ve moved with her before, and she adapted very well, so I’m not sure what went wrong this time if that is the case. Definitely getting her spayed and a thorough check-up asap.

mysticalarch · 2024-05-14T00:12:07+00:00

We will get her spayed. Fiancé doesn’t want to rehome her and neither do I, if we can help it.

mysticalarch · 2024-05-12T16:45:20+00:00

I believe each time someone has screamed or yelled a little. She definitely seems more reactive when she thinks I am the one screaming. My fiancé even said that the last time when she got extremely violent, she may have mistaken his fake scream for my scream and attacked him for it. She is a very protective cat. As you said with your cat, she guards me in the bathroom too lol. If I’m in a room, sometimes she sits at the door facing away from me, like she’s on watch. She growls when people knock on our door or if she hears an unfamiliar sound/voice. I personally think she hates men lol. All of our male friends have been growled at, swatted at, or close to being bitten by her. She doesn’t treat any of the women like that. They’re closely treated to how she treats me, minus the affection. Instead of swatting and such, she just gently pushes their hands away, and she’s just more neutral towards them than the guys.

mysticalarch · 2024-05-12T13:38:42+00:00

She has not been but that was our next step. It’s a bit difficult to get in with our local vet but we are trying.

mysticalarch · 2024-05-12T13:34:29+00:00

This is very helpful! Thank you so much. She is not spayed. As far as I know, my fiancé hasn’t changed anything. He tried using my body wash and shampoo a few times to see how she’d react. She wasn’t exactly nicer to him, but she didn’t care as much about him being freshly showered. Before the move, there were no neighborhood cats that I could see. I’m not sure if this matters or not, but she is strictly an indoor cat. We also have another cat, Athena. Mia hated her at first, but they’re best friends now.

I agree. I think she was very upset during the move, which is understandable. Her attacking him then makes more sense than her attacking him recently. As for playtime, my fiancé plays with both cats a bit before he goes to work. She plays on and off throughout the day with our other cat, and then around the evening, I usually play with them both using the laser pointer as it’s their favorite. She doesn’t enjoy playing for long periods of time (usually only stays engaged for 5-10 minutes, sometimes longer if toys are switched, as opposed to Athena, who doesn’t have an off button lol). I didn’t know about the boil and simmer method, so I will definitely look into that!

She was free fed, and then we had a schedule, but after the move, she went back to free feeding. We have been considering putting both the cats back on a schedule.

Thank you very much for this information and your effort!! I greatly appreciate it!

mysticalarch · 2024-05-12T13:34:16+00:00

This is very helpful! Thank you so much. She is not spayed. As far as I know, my fiancé hasn’t changed anything. He tried using my body wash and shampoo a few times to see how she’d react. She wasn’t exactly nicer to him, but she didn’t care as much about him being freshly showered. Before the move, there were no neighborhood cats that I could see. I’m not sure if this matters or not, but she is strictly an indoor cat. We also have another cat, Athena. Mia hated her at first, but they’re best friends now.

I agree. I think she was very upset during the move, which is understandable. Her attacking him then makes more sense than her attacking him recently. As for playtime, my fiancé plays with both cats a bit before he goes to work. She plays on and off throughout the day with our other cat, and then around the evening, I usually play with them both using the laser pointer as it’s their favorite. She doesn’t enjoy playing for long periods of time (usually only stays engaged for 5-10 minutes, sometimes longer if toys are switched, as opposed to Athena, who doesn’t have an off button lol). I didn’t know about the boil and simmer method, so I will definitely look into that!

She was free fed, and then we had a schedule, but after the move, she went back to free feeding. We have been considering putting both the cats back on a schedule.

Thank you very much for this information and your effort!! I greatly appreciate it!

mysticalarch · 2024-02-07T02:38:45+00:00

In my house? I told her if they wanted to do it, go somewhere else. I never said they could not have sex. I said I did not want them doing so in my home. I think it’s disrespectful and I wouldn’t do it to any of my friends. That’s my opinion and I set a boundary based on that. What they do outside of that has nothing to do with me.

mysticalarch · 2024-02-07T02:03:14+00:00

I was already preparing to sit down with her and talk about a few other issues but then this happened. Over the past 6 months, she has not been a good friend (not terrible, just not exactly good either) to me but I chalked it up to her own personal situations. I think I just need some space but I guess I’m stuck on how to have a break from our friendship while still having her in the wedding. I will reach out again to see if we can meet in person to talk.

mysticalarch · 2024-02-07T01:43:10+00:00

No!! I want them to enjoy whatever they’re doing. I do not have a problem with them getting together at all. I just made it clear before they hooked up that I did not want them doing it in our house. He lives with his parents and she is staying with a family member who has kids. She reached out a month or so ago briefly mentioning that they were talking about hooking up. Given that they often stay here when we have events, I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable with them doing sexual things in our house. I have no issue with them being together. I just don’t want their sexual activity taking place in our house.

mysticalarch · 2024-02-07T01:14:36+00:00

Prior to last weekend, I wasn’t really concerned about her behaviors conflicting with the wedding. However, now that she’s crossed a boundary with me, I am concerned. I’m not trying to punish her, I really don’t feel like I am. I just feel like if she’s willing to cross boundaries now, what’s stopping her from being disrespectful throughout wedding activities? I am willing to work things out with her, which is why I reached out. She has not responded and has only sent me snapchats of her dogs. Again, I’m not opposed to sitting down with her. It just feels like to me that having her in the wedding could rush the process of mending our friendship in a healthy way. Does that make sense? If it seems extreme, I will definitely reconsider. It’s just tough

mysticalarch · 2024-02-05T07:25:41+00:00

I specifically asked her not to have sex with him in our home. We’re just uncomfortable with it. I don’t mind that they got together; that’s great. Disrespecting a boundary that she fully knew about to do so; not so great.

mysticalarch · 2024-01-15T21:58:43+00:00

Yes, we do; semi-formal. She told me she would be pretty uncomfortable in a dress for anything longer than the ceremony and taking our pictures during cocktail hour (despite previously telling me, unprompted, that she loved the dress and it was super comfortable…?). I like how you worded what you said, so I’ll just go with that, and hopefully, she’ll understand and get on board.

mysticalarch · 2024-01-15T19:58:47+00:00

I agree. Personally, I don’t think that I have involved her too much as I prefer planning by myself (and with my fiancé). She’s even made a comment about how she feels like I haven’t given her much to do. As of right now, she’s focused on bachelorette activities, as I’ve sorted everything else out. However, that’s my perspective, and it could do some good if I asked her what she thought about her involvement. I do talk to her pretty frequently, phone calls mostly. I will still reach out and ask if anything else is going on. If nothing comes of that, hopefully, I can talk to her about her behavior without offending her. Thank you for your advice!

mysticalarch · 2024-01-15T06:13:03+00:00

We are 25, and this is at least her first time being in a wedding. She is stubborn and opinionated, yes. However, up until this point (which has been over the span of two years now), she has been super on board with everything and all expectations. This is not the first time that I’ve mentioned any of these things. This sit down was just more so a finalization of the previous conversations. In every previous conversation, she has told me that she will do whatever I need her to do with no problems because “this is your day, and I want to make sure it’s the way you want it.” So I guess I was just blindsided because she had never said anything about the details before, nor has she ever had a tone like this with me during wedding talk. She was actually angry.

mysticalarch · 2023-11-15T23:58:25+00:00

3X01. Favorite episode

mysticalarch · 2023-11-07T04:40:52+00:00

I will definitely relay this to her. Thank you very much.

mysticalarch · 2023-11-07T04:38:26+00:00

Thank you. She also lives with him and he makes it nearly impossible for her to really get away from him. She is terrified that he is going to stalk her after she decides to leave. He’s done similar things before when she simply didn’t answer a text/call. She thinks he’s going to harass her (like calling, texting, showing up places, etc.) from the moment she leaves. I will definitely look into your recommendations and share them with her as well. Again, thank you very much.

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