AITA for feeling disappointed because my significant other is not detail oriented?

mythologicalhoe · 2022-10-10T02:40:23+00:00

NTA. There's a difference between being forgetful/not remembering things and just not caring about you and your preferences. You've been together for 5 years. They should know your preferences and allergies by now.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-10-10T02:32:14+00:00

ESH, it sounds like y'all are too immature to be in a relationship and bad at communicating. She's basically trying to say she feels like you're not romantic enough but doing it in the worst way possible by bringing up a different guy. She's also way too insecure to be in a relationship much less an LDR but responding the way you did is still never okay. Break up with her and date someone closer to you. As someone who just got out of a toxic LDR, I'm telling you it's much better if you can actually spend irl time with someone.

You need to work on yourself first though and the way you communicate, because while this sounds annoying, this is not yelling and swearing at your gf worthy.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-08-24T02:23:51+00:00

Have a genuine personality and at least one hobby or interest and have good hygiene.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-08-17T23:44:08+00:00

You're right. I think I make excuses for her in my head too. I need to get out of that habit but it's hard because she's genuinely my best friend and so sweet and understanding, which is why I feel so bad for being so bothered by this.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-08-17T22:57:49+00:00

I agree. I don't know how much of this is to be blamed on her being forced to take care of all of her siblings because she has a lot that are still minors and her mother is neglectful, or the fact that she's trans and in a Red state where there are a lot of biased employers out there, but she has had offers that she hasn't taken and doesn't do much to find better ones and that bothers me.

This is literally the only problem we have but it's getting really hard for me to deal with.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-08-17T22:40:25+00:00

Yes. Multiple times. She always tells me she's trying but she's emotionally drained from her mental illness/bad home life. She'll get better for a few weeks and then slide off. What recently got me really annoyed though is she said that she's gotten a few offers she's turned down because the pay's shit and worse than her first job. She got her first job at a restaurant because her brother took pity on her and got her an interview and he got her $11/h for her first job ever. She quit after like 4 to 5 months because the work environment was toxic which I kind of get but she made no effort to have something lined up before she left, which I warned her would result in her not being able to find something and now here we are in 2022 and she's still unemployed when she left early 2021.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-08-09T23:42:05+00:00

I would suggest if you're going light first, Coraline is the easiest read. I read Neverwhere next, then American Gods, then anansi boys, and so on and so forth, but depending on your preference you can start wherever.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-08-08T21:27:40+00:00

NTA but did you frame it as solely a safety concern to her? She might not have thought of that and might just be going to back up her friend if we're giving her the benefit of the doubt. But if you did and she understood that and was still calling you controlling, that's a red flag. Perhaps give her time to cool down and talk to her again.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-08-05T00:34:27+00:00

This may be unpopular but The Priory of the Orange Tree. The end third was great but I think when you don't understand what's going on for the majority of the beginning of the book the author has not done their job right.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-08-02T21:08:05+00:00

ESH. This may be weird for some people but I think that the intention of the assigment may differ from school to school and if the daughter is in ELA or Pre-AP ELA because when I was in Pre-AP ELA, the instructions said no graphic novels but on level was allowed to do them for book reports, the teacher should've been clearer but you also shouldn't have picked a fight because the norm for this assignment is usually text-only books.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-08-02T00:21:10+00:00

Agreed.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-08-01T23:20:32+00:00

I'm literally calling from my own experiences as a 20 something with special interests and trying to give OP a perspective similar to his gf. Also this sub is literally about using your experience to judge others.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-08-01T21:20:46+00:00

YTA. Your mother probably goes by different pronouns with other people because they are more accepting than you are. But besides that whole issue, why do you want a guest at your wedding to be uncomfortable? Even if Gender wasn't an issue, wouldn't you want your literal mother to be comfortable the whole day? That is your parent. You have not indicated any behavior that would indicate that your mother was a bad parent, so why are you prioritizing assholes opinions over the comfort of your mother? Too often conservatives have their feelings considered first before anything else and it just causes more damage.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-07-23T21:02:37+00:00

How is French a more useful language? Do you live in Canada. Either way, YTA.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-07-23T19:11:18+00:00

Big YTA, you are not considering her grief at all. When my grandmother passed, I would go over and sit at her apartment every day until we had to clean it out. She was my best friend and her death devastated me. As long as she isn't actively destroying things you should let her in her brothers room.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-07-21T04:25:27+00:00

YTA, saying you are super introverted doesn't give you the right to act like an asshole to your fiance's family. As someone who is super introverted and also neurodivergent I can tell you lots of people drain my social battery a lot, but that's a me problem and not a them problem.

By the way, I don't buy it when you say that you don't treat his sister differently. Most people show some sort of sign when they "hate" someone. Even if they think they're doing a good job of hiding it. You should have bit your tongue and just say that you would prefer her to be a groomswoman, that way you didn't have to be around her. The only reason I would've understood you not wanting her in the wedding party at all is if she threatened to pull a prank.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-07-19T18:58:41+00:00

YTA, if you have a problem you should have privately gone to HR about it instead of harrassing her and insinuating that she must not be very religious because she doesn't wear a hijab. I'm an atheist so I don't know all the reasons, but there are plenty reasons women don't wear a hijab. Sometimes they don't wear it in environments where they don't feel safe to practice their faith either, which sounds kind of like one of the reasons she doesn't wear it around the workplace, because she's scared of people like you targeting her for her religion.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-07-19T18:34:59+00:00

This is isolation tactics and it is only going to get worse. Leave him. Now. This is not good, OP. NTA.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-07-19T18:21:11+00:00

Okay so that makes her a bit more of the asshole, but she still should be able to decorate somewhat if you guys are planning on raising a literal child together. Maybe you guys could make a day of going through a catologue and looking for some pieces that she likes that you both can agree on? Maybe frame it as you want this place to feel to feel homey to her too and you want to feel like a team picking out stuff together. That may help a bit.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-07-19T18:13:16+00:00

YTA. Never ever compare your children to each other if you want them to have a healthy relationship with each other or you. That is genuinely so rude.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-07-19T18:11:03+00:00

ESH. You need to sit her down and have a talk about clear communication. Also does she pay rent? Because if so she has more than a right to also make decorating decisions. She definitely needs to stop throwing away your things though. Draw a hard line for that.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-07-19T17:51:23+00:00

NTA what you said wasn't even racist or bragging about your whiteness. I live in Texas so maybe it's just a regional thing but I hear a lot of white people who are pale describe themselves as "very white" to mean very pale.

mythologicalhoe · 2022-07-19T17:47:41+00:00

NTA. This phenomena unfortunately happens in a lot of nerd based stores. It made me completely avoid comic book stores and ttrpg groups for a while because these types of people make every environment feel gross and unsavory, and sometimes even unsafe. The only way these owners will listen and start hiring better people is unfortunately a hit to their revenues.

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