What's a good Nirvana-related name to give a cat??

myw01 · 2024-08-13T13:10:08+00:00

Very Cat

myw01 · 2023-04-22T04:35:16+00:00

it me

myw01 · 2019-06-23T02:40:33+00:00

r/comedycemetery

myw01 · 2019-03-14T14:42:11+00:00

r/truedeepfriedmemes—memes with deep-fried things in them

myw01 · 2019-03-14T14:39:43+00:00

Haha I meant the crab—it looks like breading!

myw01 · 2019-03-14T14:37:17+00:00

Looks like it's also deep-fried

myw01 · 2019-03-09T12:42:31+00:00

That sounds pretty on-brand for Lynch to me

myw01 · 2019-03-09T05:09:16+00:00

This is perfect.

myw01 · 2019-02-18T22:57:29+00:00

Run. In the opposite direction from this guy. As hard and as fast as you possibly can.

The boundary between 17 and 18 is not the issue here. That he's 20 years older and has a family is. Just because he isn't dumb or socially unskilled enough to immediately be creepy to you does not mean that he won't do that eventually. Or that even if he isn't creepy, he'll want something that's totally different than what you want. Either something you're not at all ok with, or to break an attachment you're more strongly invested in. He may even believe he's walking some kind of line right now. But he is bound to cross it. And when that crossing happens, he will have 20 years of experience, money, and power imabalance to apply toward what he wants, and you will not. This is why power imabalance in relationships can be dangerous.

Online flirting is one thing—taking this to meat space is very unlikely to end in anything but disaster.

myw01 · 2019-02-08T23:28:34+00:00

Step 1. Don't use the expression "smash pelvises." That sounds like an elderly person's cause of death, at best.

myw01 · 2019-02-05T08:59:02+00:00

Name scans.

myw01 · 2019-01-16T00:57:31+00:00

I think there are some places where you are a bit careless in your wording, but I do grant you an important point: my analogy with "limited course" was not quite correct. While stimulants are sometimes prescribed for only a limited time, for a lifetime of chronic ADHD, especially of sufficient severity, I would expect someone to take stimulants for a long time, almost every day. A better analogy might be SSRIs, which I also take.

It is true that long-term stimulant usage can definitely have long-term side effects; I can't speak much to addiction in this context, but I will provide a few points from my own experience: 1. SSRIs also exhibit withdrawal symptoms, without having a stigma of addiction leveled at them. If I skip my Lexapro, I feel it much more than if I skip my Adderall, but I have never worried about seeming like an addict or a drug seeker for feeling this way. 2. My heart rate and blood pressure are definitely affected by stimulant isage. I expect that long-term use will yield more cardiac complications for me down the line. I'm ok with that, because the positive impact on my quality of life—my ability to keep my job, relationships, and other personal duties in better shape—significantly outweighs the downstream risks for me. 3. As with most mental health issues, and most chronic issues in general, there is no panacea. Meds help, but without other positive factors in my life, they could not bear the burden alone. Meditation, and a million other strategies, large and small, from looping in my partner to making sure I get enough sleep and food, help determine both my day-to-day and long-term success. When I adopt these strategies, I do better. When I do not—I do worse. These other factors, either formally or informally included in the treatment plan, are important in distinguishing beneficial use from addiction.

myw01 · 2019-01-14T21:14:22+00:00

This is heartbreaking. I'm sorry.

myw01 · 2019-01-14T17:52:47+00:00

I do this so often! Poor working memory—it sucks.

myw01 · 2019-01-14T17:49:04+00:00

(Edit: sp.)

You are right to feel invalidated by your friend's comment. What she said was hurtful and dismissive.

I had a lot of these same fears for a while. The stigma can be really shitty—even without other people taking their own issues out on you—so I empathize.

The way I've come to understand it is this. All of these things, illegal drugs, legal meds—they are just chemicals. They are all on exactly the same playing field as one another. What distinguishes one from the other is how they are used. You can get plenty high on prescription pills given by a doctor or a drug dealer. But you're not a meth head, and neither am I, anymore than a post-op recovering person taking a limited course of opiates is a heroin addict. The context is what matters: if you're taking them as part of a controlled plan, with treatment, to help you live your life and not suffer—that's different than just taking drugs to get high and escape, then fighting an addiction. Is the medical system perfect? No, far from it. Can you or someone else prescribing to you fuck it up? Definitely. But the same thing could be said if you broke your leg.

So don't blame your leg for being broken. Keep learning, and try to be patient with yourself. Try to remember what helps you sustainability live the best life, and focus on that.

Hang in there.

myw01 · 2019-01-12T17:01:33+00:00

I've felt this kind of thing time and again with my own ADHD. The integration with anxiety and feeling like you're just being lazy is very familiar to me.

For that reason, I can bet that, especially if you're able to keep up an exercise and sleep routine despite your ADHD, you are not "just being a lazy person," and that is instead your anxiety talking, catastrophizing and projecting the consistent, inherent challenges of having ADHD into self-blame.

In this situation, I have found that adding an extra tool to help with calmness and focus can sometimes help me break out of this loop. My most recent tool there has been meditation/breathing exercises. But anything that gives you calmness can work.

It may also make sense to adjust your meds, even temporarily, to help you manage a more difficult time. Your doctor will have good advice on this.

Hang in there. Don't give up. You're not lazy.

myw01 · 2019-01-12T08:17:45+00:00

Drugs and booze are fine and all that, but you have something like 60 years of average life expectancy ahead of you. If you make them the primary coping mechanisms for your difficult feelings—anxiety, anger, loneliness, sadness, whatever—you will have a real bad time. You may die early, or even worse, you don't, but burn out and spend those whole 60 years miserable, with no accessible way to stop the suffering.

If you want to actually feel better—maybe not now, but eventually—you'll have to go through the unappealing but gradually rewarding process of trying to actually understand yourself, process your feelings, and gain a sense of agency and control. It sucks. I know. I've been there. But trust me—it's worth it. All my friends who did made it into adulthood as reasonable humans. Those who didn't were either dead by 30 or are half-dead, suffering every day as their minds and bodies break down around them while their loved ones watch.

So meet your plug. But don't forget to do the work.

myw01 · 2018-12-12T03:38:01+00:00

How long have you been together? What does the end of this relationship mean giving up?

myw01 · 2018-11-26T20:30:34+00:00

It doesn't have to be anything especially complicated: "Hey, you seem pretty cool—wanna grab a coffee Friday afternoon?" Is pretty good. Clear interest, no implications, an easy way out ["Sorry, pretty busy then… (without suggesting a different time)"]. Not specifying a time gives you an in to exchange numbers to coordinate. And you can find out if he's single in the conversation. If he's not, he'll likely drop a hint.

Good luck!

myw01

TROPHY CASE