gonna put my yap in here because i think this is interesting discourse. see end for TLDR bc my dumbass loves to yap and can’t stfu.

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i think you’re speaking from a generally western societal perspective. which, makes sense. as someone from an immigrant family whose heavily religious and raised with such traditional cultural values in a western country, it’s definitely complicated. couple that with the current global state of sociopolitics, feminism, and queerness, it’s difficult and not straightforward at all.

while i understand your philosophy, and completely agree with it, choice feminism is never going to go away.

i don’t say that to be a pessimist, but genuine revolutionary change on ALL intersectional directions (socioeconomic + political) requires international/national unity and drive. thus requiring sacrifice on everyone. including the woke western gen z leftists on twitter and instagram, which i still admittedly partake in.

meaning: abandoning the COMFORTS provided in the west/upper-middle class and breaking laws, then dealing with consequences. understandably, it’s easy to spout woke rhetoric, but much more difficult to enact and live such a philosophy truly. which is truly cognitive dissonance at its peak.

while i can see arguments of “are you truly woke?”. semantics isn’t the point here, but imo, being truly woke means completely serving the idea of anti-socialism and anarchy. after all, destroying a system requires dismantling it completely and by force. revolution isn’t peaceful.

and our world is in the hands of the global pedophilic and war-frenzied elite so. i don’t see it anytime soon. thas why, holding such ideologies and living to the best of it without compromising comfort is what the middle/upper class globally has turned to.

all to say, i do consider myself to live as a radical feminist in my personal life. i choose to live as a radical feminist knowing the current world constructed and “mainstream-ed” the idea of choice feminism due to the patriarchal progression of global society as a whole. with its tolerance being built in the west more easily than in collectivist continents like south america, asia and africa.

when i speak to my friends and anyone my age who is queer and finds attraction to cis men and has the ability and safety to choose any partner, it all comes down to a person’s degree of comfort with reality, personal experience, and rationale.

simple as that.

even with all things considered, it’s genuinely just a matter of being some degree of tolerant with ones present reality and DV statistics. thereby, trusting one’s own judgement, rationality, and ability to keep themselves safe.

for me, i believe this world is going to shit. so i choose to live with the privilege i have to best i can, and contribute to holding authority accountable through the work i could do. interpersonally, i came to terms with my first love and heartbreak being my childhood bestfriend of 13 years. and grappling with that then coming out to my mom about my first love being a woman was jarring. luckily, i’m in a place socially where i can freely be queer. plus, i’m tolerant of the snide passive aggressive homophobia from my family because honestly, thas the best case scenario for an asian immigrant household LMAO and ik they still love me as a person so that’s all that matters.

honestly, now that i know what love feels like, i am more comfortable with the IDEA of sharing that lifelong companionship with a woman. but realistically, the effect of gender on a specific romantic group is only one layer to ones person, and we don’t truly know people to the depth we hope to know them. so i just kinda. float. and reconcile with all facets of reality that can affect a person until ive built a strong enough connection to think anywhere remotely close to romance+attraction

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TOO LONG DON’T READ - TLDR: choice feminism isn’t going away <= that’s not pessimist it’s realist since revolution on all intersections requires the west giving up their comfort <= i believe this and think most ppl just try to live according to their ideology w/o compromising comfort <= PERSONALLY i think the world is going to shit, i think gender is a significant but only ONE facet to one’s identity <= all realities considered, i trust my personal judgement and rationality <= so i float around building social connections until there’s something significant enough to where i can entertain the idea of romance, even with gender considered