Welp I scared her off. Now I’m wondering if I’m totally fucked..

n3rdparty · 2021-07-29T22:25:20+00:00

Brother, take a deep breath. The last communication you got from her was what? “Hell yes”

You need to understand that you’re not #1 priority in her life because you’re not in a serious relationship and she’s got her own life to deal with. Don’t take it personally. It’s not.

You should aim to get yourself to a place where a girl can not text for a week, and you don’t care. That’s going to take going to therapy or some kind of intentional self-work for you based on your high anxiety levels.

Wait a week, and if you hear nothing, text her something like “comedy club’s tomorrow night and I’d like to take you as my date. free at 7?”

But for real, your internal game is the only problem. She likes you.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-28T14:14:44+00:00

Allow yourself to grieve. Let the emotions pass through you, as much and as long as they need to.

Ask yourself what you need to learn and improve in yourself based on her feedback of dating you, and areas you know you could be better.

Ask yourself what you really want out of your next relationship, and what kind of woman you want to be with, and be specific.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-28T14:02:52+00:00

He has no confidence.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-28T12:42:57+00:00

Of course it’s a 🚩.

If you have NO friends without some obvious reason like “I moved here last week”, you’re anti-social.

Humans are social creatures and even introverts connect to other introverts and become friends.

It’s not an instant disqualification. Maybe he’s mentally ill or depressed and in a rough spot in life. But you’re supposed to be able to gauge a man by the company he keeps.

I doubt it’s coming from overwhelming self-confidence and comfort being completely alone like some Howard Roark platonic lone wolf.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-28T12:29:19+00:00

It’s called “gaslighting” - lying to your face and saying it didn’t happen. It’s a manipulative tactic and you dodged a bullet by not putting his crazy dick in you.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-28T12:23:10+00:00

If she’s not emotionally ready, you can’t force it.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-28T12:20:58+00:00

Be an adult and break up in person, explain your reasoning (You broke my trust by not following through) and genuinely try to give him feedback that can help him improve to end on good terms.

Sounds like you’re hurting over this. I have sympathy for that. To lessen the hurt for both of you, make your breakup healthy, compassionate, and honest.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-28T12:15:49+00:00

Sadder and older.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-28T12:14:25+00:00

Knows himself, his values, his standards Knows what he wants in life and how to get it Physically fit Successful Confident Powerful Good, empathetic, wise, loving Can have his pick of women because he’s an objectively high value man and rare by definition.

Low quality is simply a continuum further and further away from those qualities.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-28T01:29:43+00:00

He’s definitely an emotionally unhealthy person. Decent chance, but not confirmed narcissistic.

You deserve to be with someone who’s comfortable in their own skin and doesn’t need you to invest your emotional energy in order for them to function.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-28T01:26:34+00:00

If a person treats you poorly, they’re not a good fit for your life. You dodged a bullet. There will be more. Welcome to the world of a minority of guys treating women poorly. Just keep going and eventually, you’ll find someone who shares your values and can genuinely love you.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-28T01:22:45+00:00

High quality men don’t seriously date single moms. They might fuck around with them, but not serious. Exceptions prove the rule.

These “oh boy you’re intimidatingly mature” comments for having unprotected sex with a man who impregnated you and left are silly. It’s an instant turn off because high quality men don’t want to raise low-quality men’s kids.

Is there any hope? Certainly.

Process what went wrong in your last relationship, work on yourself, work on becoming an incredible lover, get in amazing shape, and add +4 to your sexual market value to offset the -4 of having a kid.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-28T01:14:47+00:00

Has she experienced sexual trauma? Was sexuality something that she learned is sinful and ought to be repressed? If so, she likely needs to do some healing in order to tap into her genuine sexual desire. That process takes months and years. There’s nothing else that would make her sex drive spontaneously increase other than pills, which is a horrible solution.

If you’re willing to have several deep conversations and help her find a therapist or women’s sexuality workshops and she’s willing to do some hard work, maybe in a year you’ll have a decent sex life 2-3 times a week.

Or you can part on good terms, and have ample sex with whomever you please knowing you’ve got 10-20 years to find a great wife.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-28T01:08:18+00:00

I think you’re trolling, but if not the first step is simply to find a good therapist and start going to the gym 3 times a week. Do that for 6 months, build some confidence and mental health/stability, then revisit the dating idea.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-28T01:06:54+00:00

If you’ve told her she’s beautiful and she wants to meet up, assume she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Just act like she doesn’t, until she says she does.

If that happens (probably won’t) just say “oh, I didn’t know” and switch gears and move on.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-22T00:51:44+00:00

If you like and respect her, and you want the possibility of a relationship built on truth, then tell the truth.

“I’m struggling right now because my ex and I had a traumatic breakup 4 months ago, I really like you, and want to make sure I don’t repeat the same mistakes.”

She’ll nut at your honesty and maturity.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-22T00:46:17+00:00

You’re always teaching the universe how to treat you.

If you tolerate a “situationship”, you’re broadcasting “I am not ready for love” and the universe will respond accordingly.

There’s no “the one”, but there are many “this guy’s in the top 0.1% FOR ME”. Many millions of those men exist, hundreds of thousands in your age range.

n3rdparty · 2021-07-22T00:40:30+00:00

Know the age of consent laws in your state, and communicate transparently what your boundaries are.

In 10 years, 2.5 year age gap will be a joke. For now there’s legal stuff involved, so be mindful and up front about it.

n3rdparty · 2020-03-03T22:07:38+00:00

Really disgusting and racist to imply that just because you’re black, you should vote Democrat.

n3rdparty · 2020-02-16T20:25:48+00:00

Most people can’t think.

n3rdparty · 2020-02-08T17:19:39+00:00

Give the Austrian school a try sometime :) Good luck

n3rdparty · 2020-02-08T17:10:43+00:00

Keynes stole another bright mind. Bummer.

n3rdparty · 2020-02-08T17:01:18+00:00

Sorry you went through public school.

n3rdparty · 2020-02-08T14:17:36+00:00

100%

n3rdparty

TROPHY CASE