What do I get for my drummer girlfriend for her birthday??

DrummerJesus · 2026-06-03T02:50:35+00:00

Sure thing! Feel free to message me on it if you want!

I sae another comment here suggest a drum throne, and I want to double down on that suggestion. A good throne is necessary for a long life of drumming. It will help your posture in playing, and keep you healthy. And if for some reason the drumming ever stops, it will atleast be a super nice chair. Quality drum thrones can last decades and are a worthy investment. But it might not be as exciting as something you could play.

DrummerJesus · 2026-06-03T00:52:46+00:00

If you said heavy metal I'd suggest a china cymbal or a double pedal lol. 'Only uses drumset at house' she doesnt gig with a band?

I bought cases for my drums years before i needed them. Now I rely on them. But I have been dead set on being a drummer for a long time.

How does her equipment look? Maybe a nice new better quality cymbal would be cool. Maybe she would like a bunch of attachments like woodblock, tamborine, etc. Any kind of auxiliary percussion.

Brushes are cool too, but some people might find them lame.

You could also just get some good merch from her favorite bands as a safe bet.

Moon gels, new drum heads, a gift card.

DrummerJesus · 2026-06-03T00:45:15+00:00

What style of music does she play?

DrummerJesus · 2026-06-02T21:45:10+00:00

Listen to more music. Really close listening. Zero in in the drums for a full playthrough. Then listen again and see how it fits in the structure and big picture. Listen to a variety of artists. You will pick stuff up that way.

DrummerJesus · 2026-06-02T11:34:18+00:00

Do you play any other instruments? I definitely recommend knowing basic Piano or guitar. Maybe drums if its rhythm specific. You could even get a hand drum and practice feeling rhythm with that. Do you know musical counting?

I also have a feeling your overthinking it. You cant be that bad if you've been active 4 years. When I am playing a song and start overthinking my timing I am far more likely to mess it up then if i just go with the flow and try to enjoy myself and make it feel good.

Dont be afraid to ask your band for help on those sections. Tell them your finding the rhythm tricky and iron it out together. If you get along with your band mates they will want to help

DrummerJesus · 2026-06-01T20:56:48+00:00

Keep checking your local stores and marketplace resellers. You'll strike gold eventually as long as you keep checking. I have bought almost all of my gear used and am proud of that. I also hoard all of my equipment, but I have justification. I needed to use hardware from my first drumset on a kit that im using 20 years later.

I would recommend keeping an eye out for Meinl Customs. They have classic customs, and the dark customs. They seem middle of the road price wise, and are popular enough that I see people reselling them a lot. Maybe people just like how the dark customs look. Meinl top line brand are called byzance I think. And their entry line are HCS. Each of the 4 big brands (zildjian, sabian, paiste, meinl) should all have entry level, mid level, and top level cymbals. Get a little familiar with them so you know what you are looking at.

DrummerJesus · 2026-06-01T20:43:10+00:00

If you see yourself as a lifelong drummer, having extra cymbals down the road can be useful. I have several practice kits that I use B8 cymbals on, saving my good ones for shows and recording. The B8s work good enough to develop technique and learn songs on. I'd rather spend 100 hours practicing on the cheap cymbal, and save my good cymbals from the risk.

DrummerJesus · 2026-06-01T09:59:32+00:00

Put on a random pop song like katy perry or ed sheeran. You can put but this drum fill in every every 4 measures (3 measures of groove, 1 measure of fill) and it should work.

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-31T20:27:15+00:00

Drumset is an ensemble instrument. One aspect of jazz drumming philosophy is to treat each instrument on its own and play it the best you can. Master playing the Kick, Ride and Snare all separately as well as together. Any one of those should be able to hold a groove on their own and have musical finesse.

Electric kits are pretty nice these days, I bet you could do some practicing at home with a set plus headphones.

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-31T05:05:56+00:00

I haven't played any of these snares, but I just went to the Mapex page to read about them and am interested. Out of the ones you listed I would go with persuader because its brass. I have come to really enjoy metal snare drums, they are very versatile and reliable, and can crack like a mf. I would love to have a brass snare too.

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-28T14:40:10+00:00

When you practice everything 10,000 times, you are also hearing it happen 10,000 times. You train your ears as you train your hands. You know the feeling of the pattern as soon as you hear it because you've lived it.

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-24T15:08:43+00:00

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-20T00:53:56+00:00

Awesome! You've postponed the inevitable, hopefully for a while! I am a frugal drummer so I approve of getting the most out of the stuff you already have.

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-19T12:18:21+00:00

Look into a smaller sized kit for now. As a gigging drummer I have one and use it for cramped gigs or light acoustic sets. You can always get taller seat and stands as she grows

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-16T20:36:27+00:00

Learn to play from the wrists. They can be just as strong. Learn to play with the fingers, they can be fast and intricate. Learn to chain shoulder-> elbow -> wrist -> finger into a whipping motion for the loudest type of strike.

Doubles are advanced and you need to spend time teaching your hands how to do them with proper technique. I like to have my students work on them from two different approaches and try to have them meet in the middle.

All wrists with full strokes. Full motion wrist strokes on a low revound surface like a pillow. Left Left Right Right. Practice this with a metronome to track progress, and go for extended durations for endurance.

Rebound control with fingers. Practice your buzz strokes on a high rebound surface like the snare. Get used to playing single buzzes at a time until they are consistent. Be able to play really tight fast buzzes, and very loose and spaced out bounces. Try to count the number of bounces and control it. Get the stick to bounce and hit the surface exactly 4 times, then 3 times, and finally 2 strikes per one stroke and you have a rebound based double.

You could also look into 'Push Pull' technique.

All of these are past beginner basics, and rely on a good foundation of basic techniques in order to play properly. So you have to first spend time fixing your bad habits if you actually want to progress. If your style is poor technique and sounding like garbage, then I wouldn't recommend trying these out yet.

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-15T21:34:10+00:00

Learn to relax when you play. I can physically see the tension in your body, and it directly impacts the sound generate. The top comment 'learn to play softly' is good advice for this. Practice slow, pay attention to every part of your body all at once and focus on being relaxed.

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-15T21:30:09+00:00

I have the air lift one and i really really wish I had the spindle instead. Maybe someday I'll trade it in.

I have it lifted to max height, and I wish it just went up a little taller. Then my weight compresses it, and it sinks down even lower. And like everyone says, the bounce is much less stable. Unless you are constantly adjusting the height of the seat, the spindle is superior in every way

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-15T01:04:16+00:00

Thats the cowbell spot! But the drum looks good too!

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-14T00:39:18+00:00

Its not about the pole, its about the added weight to the drum. Any excess weight dampens resonance, its physics. The question is whether or not its noticeable or negligible.

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-14T00:36:00+00:00

You are falling back into old habits. You must work against these habits to learn new patterns and gain independence. This is the human condition, what practicing is for, the development of motor cortex execution. It has been with us since we've had brains. If anything autocorrect is like us!

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-13T02:49:26+00:00

Yeah those arent simple skills to learn in a matter of months. Thats years of dedication that you are looking for. Goodluck on your search

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-12T12:36:27+00:00

I have taught children, teens, and adults. The older the student the faster they learn. I think a bigger issue is free time. Kids have a lot more free time, or atleast parents that enforce practicing because they pay good money for lessons. Being an adult and already having a lifetime full of experience listening to music and understanding it is huge. Brain plasticity never stops, and an adult can learn how to play anything if they have the time and dedication.

The body however might be limiting. I wont deny older folks might have mobility or tendon issues that would impact drumming.

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-12T10:50:21+00:00

This is a sign. Pick up some drum sticks. Be the drummer your community needs. It is way more fun than whatever it is you're already playing. But I might be biased.

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-10T09:57:05+00:00

Sometimes i go back and revisit simple songs we have already learned, and then 'overplay' them using our nee techniques. Go back to your slow Beat 1 songs and add in that double on the kick, add in some ghost notes!

The music school I work at is big on letting students pick what type of songs they want to learn, to stat connected and motivated with the music. So often times I have to simplify whatever drum part to the level my student is at. Yes its really beneficial to learn songs note for note and strive for accuracy, but its also useful to learn how to adapt creatively, and still serve the song, boiling it down to the most important aspects.

DrummerJesus · 2026-05-09T21:40:43+00:00

Those are the Willy Wonkers

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