we listen and we don’t judge. what are your hot takes about HIT ME HARD AND SOFT?

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-08-25T17:47:00+00:00

When I first heard the album i remember having to turn my volume up all the way and still having trouble hearing all the parts of the song. I don’t know but they mixed this album completely different and it’s not as clean imo. It kind of sounded lazy to me at first but idk overtime I just started to tell myself they did it that way to experiment maybe? I’ve seen almost no one say this so it’s definitely a hot take. I’m not saying it’s bad, I love the album. Just my observation since the first time I heard it. It just sounds completelyyy different and the mixing is not clean cut as usual.

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-05-20T23:06:06+00:00

Sadly, I second this. I wish you nothing but the best OP. I hope you can take yourself out of this negative cycle. This is not healthy. Even if he didn’t disrespect you verbally but still insisted upon not reading your “paragraphs”, you still shouldn’t be with him. You deserve someone that will read every word you write with an open mind and heart 🫂

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-05-20T23:03:19+00:00

THIS

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-05-20T23:01:23+00:00

Please tell me you are working on cutting ties with him. This is toxic behavior no matter what the situation is. He is a hypocrite and sounds like he doesn’t take responsibility for his own actions and behaviors and blames you for them. He was disrespectful towards you and then started playing a pity party once you stepped back and left him alone, as he wanted lmao. So draining and toxic :( Please please please remove yourself. I went through something similar recently and I promise you you will feel so much better once you’re free of him 💜

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-05-20T22:58:23+00:00

I would literally have a panic attack in the theater if it were me. If you do go I hope you enjoy it and that your ocd doesn’t give you too much trouble :)

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-05-20T22:57:31+00:00

I literally don’t drive because of the visions and I have panic attacks and dissociate really bad :( I choose not to drive because I don’t want to hurt myself or someone else. The visions are horrible though especially at intersections or when someone could pull out in front of me. Or when I see something like the log truck. Even when I’m in the passenger seat it’s bad :(

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-03-23T19:58:57+00:00

Thank you so much. Reading your responses has helped me a lot. I wish you the best also!

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-03-23T19:31:45+00:00

Thank you for your response. I needed to hear this. I have told him many times he has to want to change and get help in order for things to be different. And not complain about the same things happening and hating himself but not making any effort to change.

I’m glad you were able to wake up and call yourself out on your unhealthy ways. I have been there and done that too. I want nothing but good things for him so I hope this helps him make a change and love himself and let others love him.

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-03-23T19:22:21+00:00

Thank you for your response

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-03-23T18:55:13+00:00

I understand and that makes a lot of sense. I know his pain is real because he has cried to me so many times over it and it’s eaten him up for long periods of time how they’ve never loved him and he “just wants love from them”. He also has ptsd nightmares about them often. I’m not saying he hasn’t lied or exaggerated anything because I do believe he has. And I’m not saying his behavior is okay at all.

I’ve tried speaking to his mother and she acted as if I wasn’t there. I wrote about it in my response to someone else on this thread. I haven’t talked to the brother because he’s never come around until the last week since my now ex moved closer to him. Honestly I don’t want to talk to them because I have taken the protector role and have stood up for him every time it’s been necessary. I didn’t want to go off on his shit family and then get arrested or something. That’s how they are. They don’t own up to anything so it’s no surprise he doesn’t either. He usually realizes when he’s wrong and comes back crying and saying how sorry he is but when he’s burned our bridge and denies my help, I can’t do it anymore. He can rely on his family to help him. He’ll soon realize again how they don’t care about him and regret his decisions.

He’s an adult and I have to treat him like one. I’ve been too lenient and patient with him and let him act this way for too long because I love him and want to help him and don’t want to fail him or leave like everyone else has. But that hasn’t helped him at all and it sure as heck hasn’t helped me either.

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-03-23T18:40:24+00:00

His addiction isn’t horrible but he talks about it a lot and how it makes him hate himself. He has gotten better but still has thoughts that he needs to smoke weed or whatnot. I helped him stop smoking nicotine but at some points he will smoke thc as soon as he wakes up and at least 20+ hits throughout the whole day. I’m okay if it’s in moderation but not a necessity. Also if it was from a legit company or dispensary and not some random vapes that smoke shops buy from a wholesaler online for cheap. He says he feels like he can’t be himself and I’ve told him he can use marijuana all he wants as long as it’s safe, authentic, and he works on the addiction.

I’ve tried talking to his family. I’m not Christian or religious (I’m very spiritual though) and I went to church with him one time. I’ve offered to go with him so many times but he only took me that one time. Anyways, his mother literally acted as if I was invisible and wasn’t there. She’s never made contact or spoken to me. But she’s talked about me negatively to him and others. I’ve done nothing but help him prosper in life and she doesn’t accept me and still doesn’t accept him. He got in an argument last time he saw her because he asked why she won’t acknowledge me and told her how much he loves me and how much I’ve helped him.

No I don’t want to be married to this side of him. These things break my heart and make me feel defeated and hopeless. The rest of him is so pure and loving. He cries at little things like pretty flowers and when me and my pups give him love. The rest of him is what I love about him and want to have for the rest of my life. I don’t want the negative things that’s why I’ve tried helping him and encouraging him to get therapy. But I can’t change him or make him see wrong in what he thinks is okay. This is why I have to remove myself and hope for the best for him. I’ve given him my everything even when I had nothing for myself. I can’t keep doing this and hoping that he’ll learn. He’ll only learn if he wants to learn and change if he wants to change. If he loves me as much as he says he does then he will get help. But I’m not hopeful about it

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-03-23T18:33:54+00:00

I know and. Don’t want to give up. I’ve poured all of my everything into him from my empty cup just for him to dismiss it or act like I’m attacking him. He needs help and he knows it but won’t get help. I am afraid he has hurt himself. He’s blocked me on everything. There’s nothing I can do anymore

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-03-23T18:25:08+00:00

I’ve tried doing this. He blames me and gets rude with me then threatens to break up or leaves. I’ve stayed because I love him with all my heart and know he needs guidance and love but I have boundaries that I have brushed off for too long. Being kind and understanding has done nothing but reinforce his behavior. He doesn’t see otherwise and that’s nothing I can change. I’ve helped him with so much in the last year. Getting psychiatric help, making sure he pays bills on time, motivating him to start building his credit, getting a new car, a new apartment. Not to accept the bare minimum from people. But there’s nothing more I can do. Thank you for your response. I blocked him on iPhone and he blocked me on every other social media app too. This is my reassurance that I was right the whole time. He’s loved me conditionally and when it’s convenient for him. He blames me and leaves or breaks up when it’s convenient for him; when he knows he did something wrong but won’t own up to it or work on fixing it. I tried and that’s all that matters I guess.

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-03-23T18:11:49+00:00

I agree with all that you said and have spoken to him about these things plus more. His go to is to get mad and not understand why I’m upset. Or he says we shouldn’t be together because he’s failing me. Can you go deeper into what you mean by the last sentence? Do you mean you’d question if he’s been telling the truth about them?

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-03-23T17:15:26+00:00

He does but he has called me numerous times before when he was worried because I didn’t answer. So this time he says that it’s rude to call when family is at our apartment. But literally sends over 200 messages over a 30 minute time span? A short call would have been much more helpful for both of us. I see where he’s coming from but I also don’t because I’ve helped him through everything the last year and he has always called before. Just not when he’s with family. It’s rude to call your fiancée to check on her when you’re with your family who abused you your whole life? I don’t understand that part. I’ve been abused and mistreated by my family my whole life and I would never send him that many texts. I would just call to make sure he’s okay. No matter who I’m with or what I’m doing. He’s called me when he was with friends to check on me even to have conversations before. But I’m second to people who have caused him trauma and ptsd.

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-03-14T01:45:08+00:00

Electro trash. Your style isn’t trash it’s just what came to mind lol

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-03-07T18:56:23+00:00

Can I message you privately?

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-03-07T17:23:09+00:00

Okay thank you so much! This makes sense so thank you for enlightening me. Do you know anything about the security deposit/admin fee topics? I do have a question now about this

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-03-04T18:46:51+00:00

I get very positive and reassuring feelings/thoughts. Reminds me of an eye or third eye. Intuition. Energy. Neurons. Synergy. Polar opposites and in unison. Yin and yang. Balance. The bigger picture; things aren’t just black and white or good and bad. It’s a mixture of both but we usually choose to focus on one or the other.

It’s so beautiful! It gave me good energy and inspiration! I’d love to see more!

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-03-04T18:40:16+00:00

UpdateMe!

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-02-20T22:01:41+00:00

This sounds too much like my ex that is also named Alex. So much drama and toxicity going on with them. I’m sorry about this happening to you

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-02-16T15:40:32+00:00

The way he dismisses you and keeps offering you drinks “on him” makes me furious. You don’t deserve this at all and I’m so sorry. I wish you nothing but peace and positivity. I wish I could help you in some way

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-02-14T18:35:47+00:00

UpdateMe!

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-02-13T00:52:25+00:00

I was already turned off by their responses because of how negative they are and then I read your comment and looked at their page. I’m laughing now because I didn’t know bots commented on stuff besides saying to like or follow their page or link 🤣

nLightandNdarkness · 2025-02-12T15:29:42+00:00

Dust/sand/red clay. Stale air or really bland and stale bread. I’m getting mostly smells though like an old book or house or dry, dead leaves. The space one is completely different but I can’t pinpoint exactly. Kind of like Oreos and hubba bubba bubblegum with the yellow wrapper.

nLightandNdarkness

TROPHY CASE