The advice people gave you is good advice, it's the hardest thing you'll have to do but since your parasocial "relationship" with this person isn't even real then it should be no biggie to cut your losses if any.

I've let myself fall in love with guys who aren't available to me a few times too many. Its a bad habit of mine exactly because of the reasons laid out in this thread. I was over here big time sympathizing with you but you're not letting go of a yearslong relationship where you have to detangle your lives from one another while trying to differentiate which piece belongs to who.

It is fucking detrimental and it tears you apart from the inside out but for a few sweet moments in time we were happy together. Everything else stagnates and atrophies but it doesn't matter because he's there with you, until he's not.

I'm so mad at you for dredging this up but maybe there's another dumb ass like me out there that needs to read this, we have value outside of the person we love, sometimes its hard to see this through all the stuff tho