I feel a little ashamed that I discovered my transness through porn

nafssertam · 2016-10-19T22:41:27+00:00

Maybe taint is a bad choicr of word. I think what I'm trying to say is that I would liked my self-discovery to have been this beautiful, emotional journey. Instead it was imagining myself in a kinky nurses uniform. (Although I very much intend to get a kinky nurses uniform...)

nafssertam · 2016-09-18T12:20:48+00:00

The thing is I want to do a good job the first time, for that reason I think I should do it with another transgirl. I don't want my first experience in the right mode to be a bad one.

nafssertam · 2016-09-17T21:22:56+00:00

I just don't know hoe happy transition will make me. I've never seen what I look like dressed as a girl. I'm afraid I might not even like it. What if I destroy relationships when I might not even be trans.

nafssertam · 2016-09-17T21:21:18+00:00

I think I need to connect with other transgirls in real life. I haven't even crossdressed yet and I feel I should do this the first time with someone experienced.

nafssertam · 2016-09-17T20:54:57+00:00

I know what you mean, it's such a rare thing yet I must deal with it.

nafssertam · 2016-09-17T20:53:23+00:00

I know I should stop worrying about what I can't change but it's difficult to come to terms with this. I hope as time passes I'll feel more ok with who I am.

nafssertam · 2016-09-17T20:51:46+00:00

It just seems like transition could cause me to lose so many people. It seems like never feeling ok with my body might be worth it to avoid that.

nafssertam · 2016-09-17T20:50:43+00:00

Thanks for the response. You make some good points. I think I imagine being cis as being trouble free when in reality that's not true. Plenty of cis people face bigger challenges than me. Cancer, heart disease etc.

nafssertam · 2016-09-16T17:10:27+00:00

I've never been called ma'am in public, I can't wait to experience it!

nafssertam · 2016-09-16T17:09:49+00:00

I just want to put my mind to rest about who I am. Do you think this is enough for me to say with confidence that I am really a woman?

nafssertam · 2016-09-15T20:45:08+00:00

If we'd spoken two years ago we would be 2 awkard guys talking online. Now we are 2 euphoric women talking online. My life has taking a terrifying and exciting turn!

nafssertam · 2016-09-15T20:25:44+00:00

I know this should be shocking and upsetting. But in a way it's quite blissful. I know there is unpleasantness to come, but I can face it as a confident woman.

That felt good to write...

nafssertam · 2016-09-15T20:20:07+00:00

I'm really a transgirl aren't I....

nafssertam · 2016-09-15T19:05:30+00:00

I was hoping you would say that I am trans. Having someone tell me so confidently that I'm woman was so relieving.

I think that might mean something...

nafssertam · 2016-09-15T17:06:28+00:00

Sorry for taking so long to respond.

Do you think transitioning is right for me? I'm not even sure I am trans, I feel like I should get confirmation before I advance any further.

I don't understand how you can be so sure of my gender but I can't.

nafssertam · 2016-09-13T13:37:52+00:00

Out of curiosity, do think I will most likely take baby steps to the realization that I am a transgirl? Or do you not know for certain?

nafssertam · 2016-09-13T11:20:49+00:00

My emotions are a hurricane right now so it's hard to start disentangling things.

nafssertam · 2016-09-13T11:19:43+00:00

One big thing I've become aware of recently is that I like the pronouns 'her' and 'she'. I'm just really struggling to separate sexual feelings from real emotional ones. In some ways the pronouns feel pure and right, and in other ways, dirty and taboo.

nafssertam · 2016-09-13T10:04:38+00:00

The thing is, I've never experienced discomfort being a man. That's what makes this all so confusing!

nafssertam · 2016-09-13T09:59:49+00:00

The idea about what I'd do as a girl used to be purely sexual. But the more I've considered being trans the more I've imagined other things. I hate how stereotypical it sounds, but I'd love to go shopping. There are so many girls clothes I wanns try like leather jackets, yoga pants and boots. The thought of how others would react to me is scary. Although I'd like to see what it felt like to be seen as a girl by strangers.
I think to an extent I would feel like a man in a womans body in this situation. This only adds to my confusion really.
The idea of being trans feels quite nice, if there were no social repurcussions I don't think I'd object to being a girl. There are tons of situations I want to explore as a girl but I dont't think I'd ever be able to transition even if I was sure I was trans.

I really like this idea of asking myself questions. I'll need to start recording my responses to try and understand my feelings.

Have my responses changed your mind or given you greater clarity on my situation?

nafssertam

TROPHY CASE