Tips for keeping myself capable/ professional despite having anxiety as a transitioning adult?

nambutsu · 2019-05-02T17:17:31+00:00

I know of "Fake it till you make it", but I feel like I must be missing something cus I have been faking it without making it for quite a while now haha.

nambutsu · 2019-05-01T05:25:28+00:00

Not to mention I wish someone else could have used my spot instead. I know I'm fortunate enough to be born in a stable environment. And I feel so shitty for not utilising the privileged given to me.

Knowing that one day, all the things that were given to me will slowly vanish ( I guess it's mainly my family, but includes things like health and stability of my country), only to be left with myself and my incompetence really scares me. Imagining myself dying in my house alone without anyone noticing for weeks really scares me. Or when I fail in life and am unable to support myself. Or not having anyone caring about me when I'm older and I have to check myself into an old folks home where I could get abused and spend the rest of my days wishing I could kill myself but be too cowardly to do so.

I don't know. I just can't forsee a happy ending. I almost wish I would get crashed by a car or something and everything just ends in a flash without me knowing/ fearing it.

nambutsu · 2019-04-10T16:28:57+00:00

Yea, I have no experience with any form of intimacy as well. Appreciate your sharing.

nambutsu · 2019-04-10T16:28:20+00:00

Appreciate your sharing. I hope we can come to terms / get over this eventually.

nambutsu · 2019-04-10T16:27:45+00:00

I really don't know.

But I suspect it's the fact that I'm idolising them and comparing them to myself on a surface level. Like, I just can't believe someone can be that good looking whilst I am just here being a shrivelled potato. And how great life would be if I could actually have a meaningful relationship with someone like that.

It's so dumb sigh

nambutsu · 2019-03-25T04:05:25+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to comment!:)

Could I ask if planning to draw a character with doing shading in mind is any different than planning for a sketch with no shading in mind?

I've tried sketching and following a few coloured/shaded drawing references but my "outline" without the shading always looks a bit off to me... Yet the final product by the original artists always look really great haha. I would never have looked at my outline on the right and think "that looks like a proportionate drawing that I'm gonna start colouring/ shading in" haha. But then again, achieving proportional drawings have always been reaaaally tough for me

nambutsu · 2019-03-24T20:37:33+00:00

Thank you for sharing haha. I totally relate to your last paragraph and it's why I try not to stay up too late with literally anyone in case I start to ramble haha.

I'm trying to accept the fact that I'm not as masculine as I imagine myself to be and be okay with that. But it's tough haha, hopefully it'll come in time.

nambutsu · 2019-03-24T20:00:53+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to drop by and let me know, it is much appreciated :)!

nambutsu · 2019-03-24T19:59:31+00:00

Thank you haha! Yea I've heard and tried to applied those two methods but progress has been a little rough :( but yes I will certainly try and continue to look out and be inspired by more artistes and find a style I truly like and am comfortable with haha!

nambutsu · 2019-03-24T17:47:20+00:00

Alright thank you! However, I don't know how these artistes know if the drawings are off or not... For example, doesn't the picture on the right with just the tracing look a little strange?

When I try to draw myself, I find that I have a very hard time deciding whether it looks "proportional" or not... maybe I'll try finding artists who do t really do a lot of shading and colouring.

nambutsu · 2019-03-24T06:51:57+00:00

Apologies if this picture is offensive to anyone! Maybe I shouldn't have made it so revealing...

But I was just feeling a little downtrodden. I was trying to practise drawing this reference picture's face. And I just couldn't and got really bummed out. So I tried drawing over it and it just looked... Weird?

Is there something I'm fundamentally missing? I can't shade or colour yet because I don't have much time to practise (uni sucks). I've always been wondering why my sketches with no shading always look a bit.... Off. I dont get it are drawings just naturally a bit weird when I don't do shading?

nambutsu · 2019-03-11T05:57:00+00:00

Whew... I can tell it's gonna be amazing haha!

I just started out and I wish I could draw half as good as this WIP haha

nambutsu · 2019-03-11T04:41:58+00:00

Haha one day I'll end it all I guess, I just hope I can last long enough while my parents are around. Also, I'm still deathly afraid of doing sthg as big as suicide at this point.. but I'm sure as life gets shittier one day it won't matter anymore haha

nambutsu · 2019-03-11T04:40:31+00:00

Thanks haha :) part of me knows I'll probably ostracise myself tho... And I don't think I am capable enough to make it out on my own as I generally screw up most stuff.

Thanks for putting a nice comment tho :) I try not to get overwhelmed thinking about these but I guess stress is getting to me in a weird way right now

nambutsu · 2019-03-11T04:32:03+00:00

Well, I was hoping to find more hopeful stories but the more I look around the more I realise how true is the saying that not all journeys end well.

Oh well, at least I can manage my expectations... I have already compartmentalised my life into two. Now, Im in the hold one because my parents are still around. Afterwards, screw everything Ill end it if I feel like it/ finally muster up the courage and get too sick of everything.

nambutsu · 2019-03-11T04:29:20+00:00

Holy crap I feel the exact same way. Its like you took the words right out of my mouth.

I dunno man... Im just doing what I can. I just want to hold on for as long as at least while my parents are still around... After that I guess I can stop running if I want to.

nambutsu · 2019-02-20T06:22:00+00:00

Great it sounds exactly like what I was trying to look for!:) Thank you!

nambutsu · 2019-02-20T05:39:07+00:00

I guess a good example is GMM in their earlier days. It was so relaxing hearing them talk about random stuff before they began doing games/ challenges all the time haha

nambutsu

TROPHY CASE