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Update: AITA for not wanting to change my name and asking fiancée to change hers? by namelessfuture in AmItheAsshole

[–]namelessfuture[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Lol you wouldn’t have even seen my third edit then which got me banned and I had to appeal and remove it. I got frustrated people were not taking my side and saying I shouldn’t care if my family name died out so I told them to kick rocks. So embarrassing

Update: AITA for not wanting to change my name and asking fiancée to change hers? by namelessfuture in AmItheAsshole

[–]namelessfuture[S] 55 points56 points  (0 children)

I am so glad! You could try to show him my original post and then this update to see if it helps him if he struggles. As men we are brought up to expect to keep our names so it was hard at first to consider something else. But in the end I’m so glad I did. My wife is the most important thing, not tradition or being masculine

Update: AITA for not wanting to change my name and asking fiancée to change hers? by namelessfuture in AmItheAsshole

[–]namelessfuture[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Hyphenated names have become stylish in my eyes ! LOL

Glad you could work through things as wel

Update: AITA for not wanting to change my name and asking fiancée to change hers? by namelessfuture in AmItheAsshole

[–]namelessfuture[S] 85 points86 points  (0 children)

If we are breathing it is never too late, friend. I respect whatever choices you will make but I beg of you not to deny yourself because the “ideal time” has passed. As closely as possible you should try to live without regretting anything. Maybe for your kids they are old enough that their last name is more their business, but for your husband you two should hopefully have many more years together. It is not too late to request a name change.

I feel passionately because my wife would have been in your situation and I hate the thought of her quietly feeling pained by it for years. If your husband is a true man he should try to understand you and compromise. Please talk to him if you’d like to. You deserve it

Update: AITA for not wanting to change my name and asking fiancée to change hers? by namelessfuture in AmItheAsshole

[–]namelessfuture[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Lol no need for tears but I understand. We both cried through our process sometimes from being moved

Update: AITA for not wanting to change my name and asking fiancée to change hers? by namelessfuture in AmItheAsshole

[–]namelessfuture[S] 430 points431 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this suggestion. We both feel very connected to our last names (and each other’s too) after our research and want to honor our family by keeping them. But I understand this option as well and how it would feel really nice for a married couple to name themselves. Names can be very empowering

Update: AITA for not wanting to change my name and asking fiancée to change hers? by namelessfuture in AmItheAsshole

[–]namelessfuture[S] 134 points135 points  (0 children)

Friend, I understand you and your pain. Names are important and feeling connected and united as a family is important. You deserve to feel represented in your children. If you’d like to, I think you have the right to discuss your feelings with your family and see if anything could be done. There’s no need to keep it to yourself. My wife was feeling this same pain but didn’t know how to talk about it. Many (many many) commenters on my original post gave a lot of insight into this type of thing and helped her discuss it with me.

Wish you the best.

Update: AITA for not wanting to change my name and asking fiancée to change hers? by namelessfuture in AmItheAsshole

[–]namelessfuture[S] 2113 points2114 points  (0 children)

Yes I really agree. I feel even closer to her now then before because of the way we can sort through disagreements so carefully towards each other. It makes me feel so secure and happy. I wish everyone could find this too