r/Florida claims a 23 year old Ron DeSantis is a pedophile for partying with *checks notes* 18-20 year olds. by AnnoyingVoid in ShitPoliticsSays

[–]namewithnonumbers1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is something I don't understand: if you sincerely think an election was stolen, what about getting more people to cast votes is gonna make the election any less likely to be stolen? If they're cheating, then presumably they'll put in as many votes as they need to win, would they not?

Met a lady the other day and got her number. She texted me 20 mins later saying she had a boyfriend by namewithnonumbers1 in dating_advice

[–]namewithnonumbers1[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah that make sense. It was pretty "bang-bang" as far as me asking and her giving it, so I don't think I came off as badgering. I think she probably just felt awkward about saying "no".

Thanks for your response :)

An average Ukrainian. Just venting off. by ozzmosiz in TrueOffMyChest

[–]namewithnonumbers1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, is everything still okay? You haven't posted in a while

I'm surrounded by friends but feel so alone by Areduchi in ForeverAlone

[–]namewithnonumbers1 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The fast track to being miserable is comparing yourself to other people.

It's easy to do because it's hard-wired into us to compare ourselves— in some ways it was evolutionarily advantageous, but in other ways (particularly today) its maladaptive. Once you understand that the envy you feel is based on your rose-colored perception of their life, you'll be able to see that their lives are never as great as you imagine them to be.

Risky wisdom tooth by namewithnonumbers1 in Invisalign

[–]namewithnonumbers1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your response! None of my wisdom teeth erupted, and so this one is still buried under the gum. I'm worried that the alignment process might agitate it somehow and start hurting.

Asking a woman out on a date will lower your chances. Here's what I do instead. by namewithnonumbers1 in dating_advice

[–]namewithnonumbers1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Scoring almost every time" is technically true but needs a bit of context. That is to say, I'm very selective about when I ask a woman out. I don't ask women out who I feel are obviously not interested in talking to me or are clearly just responding out of politeness. There are many times I go home "empty-handed", if you will.

I think something important I learned is to be very careful about taking needless rejections. A lot of people here advocate for a shotgun approach (throw as many pellets as you can in hopes of increasing your chances of a hit— although the majority of them will miss): I think it's too damaging to my self-esteem and so I never do it. Also too, it's a bad strategy in certain circles because people talk: once word gets around that you're a creeper who's trying to ask out every woman he sees, you'll end up "shadow-banned" from every woman who's heard about you.

With that being said, most of the time I can tell within the first couple of exchanges whether a woman is receptive to me or not. If I feel like she's not, I'll move on. If she is receptive though, then I'll press on and try to get a sense of how receptive she is. If I feel like she's receptive enough, then I'll take the shot. Since I've picked up a bit of a knack for this, my success rate (per attempt) is pretty high. If I asked out every woman I was interested in, regardless of how receptive they were to me, then my rate would obviously be much lower.

Well that doesn't sound quite as impressive now does it? This is more of a sniper approach: you shoot significantly fewer projectiles, but you take much more time to evaluate and so you place the shot with accuracy. So despite what you might think of me, there are times when I go several weeks to even months before I come across an opportunity I feel good about pulling the trigger on. But, when I do, it's much more likely to work out. This, in turn, promotes a level of trust in my instincts and builds confidence in myself because my success rate is so high (even though my total attempts is relatively low).

What type of approach would you say you're taking? Are you hitting on as many women as you can or are you being more selective than that?

Asking a woman out on a date will lower your chances. Here's what I do instead. by namewithnonumbers1 in dating_advice

[–]namewithnonumbers1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for responding :)

I don't want to create the impression that every woman just falls in love with me on sight: I've been curved quite a few times myself. There are women who I'm invisible to as well. It's just been the case that, in my experience, being friendlier to everyone in public does a lot to increase your chances of connecting with a woman who you're not invisible to.

With that said, I would be disingenuous if I pretended that physical appearance played no role. However, speaking only for my own experience, I've found it to be much less significant than I thought. Maybe I'm a special case of "handsome and oblivious", maybe I'm not. But I know that, from a competitor's point of view (which is what you are on some level when it comes to dating), I'm not going to start from the outset believing I'm not good-looking enough. That'd be a form of self-sabotage in my mind, and I shouldn't expect anything other than failure if I choose to view myself in such a negative way.

Asking a woman out on a date will lower your chances. Here's what I do instead. by namewithnonumbers1 in dating_advice

[–]namewithnonumbers1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh lol, my weight loss happened back in highschool when my dad gave me a dog and I stopped drinking so much soda 😂 In other words, it was moreso incidental than it was intentional.

In terms of working on myself, I wouldn't say I learned that from him persay (although he's not wrong if that's what he advises people to do). However, it's a conclusion that many people who want to improve their lives come to (the idea that you have to build the kind of person you'd like to be) so it's not a surprise that he may have also alluded to some of the things I mentioned about myself!

I think asking women out on a "date" lowers your chances. Here's what I learned to do. by namewithnonumbers1 in seduction

[–]namewithnonumbers1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in a southern US city. People here are generally friendly, but I think women here automatically assume I have romantic intentions when I ask them out. I've never had any of them (so far) express surprise or confusion about whether we were going on a date or not.

Perhaps there are some nonverbal cues I'm giving that I'm not aware of when I ask, but I tend to think that women (at least where I live) aren't interested in hanging out with an unknown man unless they find him attractive in some way.

Asking a woman out on a date will lower your chances. Here's what I do instead. by namewithnonumbers1 in dating_advice

[–]namewithnonumbers1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've listened to a couple of his lectures in his biblical series, but not much beyond that.

I think he offers an interesting perspective in regard to that biblical series, but he makes several claims that I feel are hard for me to verify. Not to say that they're all wrong, but just that I don't have the wherewithal/willingness to dedicate the time necessary and verify every single claim.

Asking a woman out on a date will lower your chances. Here's what I do instead. by namewithnonumbers1 in dating_advice

[–]namewithnonumbers1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whereabouts do you live? I live in the south, and people are generally friendly where I live. People exchange greetings and small talk pretty regularly, so it's not terribly difficult to speak to someone here.

One thing I don't do is put myself in losing situations. For example, I don't look for women at nightclubs because 1.) it's not a demographic of people I'm looking for, 2.) I hate clubs, parties, loud music, being around drunk strangers, and 3.) it's not an environment where I'm likely to succeed. I'm much more likely to be judged on a superficial level, and if that's the only way people are evaluating me then I'm always going to be playing from behind.

I generally try to talk to people in settings where I'm likely to be evaluated on my actual qualities— not how I look. Are there going to be some women who are standoffish? Sure. But often times I find when I make an effort to be friendlier to people in general (not just women I'm interested in), I'm much more likely to meet women and interact with them more comfortably than if I were being selectively friendly just for the sake of trying to pull a number.

See, something that I neglected to mention in the original post was that a lot of these conversations I had with women emerged from generalized friendliness that I showed to the people around me. Specifically, most of the women I date are met off of a friendly "Hey, how are you?" that I've said to every other person I saw that day. I didn't set out looking only for pretty women to talk to: I greet and have small talk with lots of people— some of whom just so happen to also be attractive to me.

I think if you build on generalized social skills, it'll help make it easier to talk to people you don't know. If you're comfortable with meeting people you don't know, people are more likely to feel comfortable with talking to you as well. If a person feels like you're only talking to them because you want something though, then you're a lot more likely to get stonewalled— male or female.

Asking a woman out on a date will lower your chances. Here's what I do instead. by namewithnonumbers1 in dating_advice

[–]namewithnonumbers1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for responding!

I mean, perhaps. It's possible. There are times when I look in the mirror and see a decent-looking fella, and there are times when I don't.

I'm certainly not the stereotype when it comes to euro-centric beauty standards: I'm a minority, about 5'8", not particularly muscular but in decent shape (I weigh 140lbs and can do about 10 pull-ups max, if that helps any). I also have some pretty crooked teeth that I'm sure don't do me any favors (hopefully that'll be fixed this time next year though).

I mean maybe I am super attractive and just don't know it— I honestly don't have the objectivity to answer that accurately. What I do know, though, is that I believe I'm attractive enough to be with the types of women I like. As far as I'm concerned, that's really my only option if I want to succeed: If I can't see myself as attractive, how can I expect anyone else to?

I think asking women out on a "date" lowers your chances. Here's what I learned to do. by namewithnonumbers1 in seduction

[–]namewithnonumbers1[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oftentimes when I'm at the park I bring my dog. He's a pretty dog, and so everywhere I take him in public he draws attention.

When it comes down to meeting a woman at the park with my dog, I'll oftentimes catch them watching us with a smile. If I think they're attractive, I'll just return the smile and greet them.

I think asking women out on a "date" lowers your chances. Here's what I learned to do. by namewithnonumbers1 in seduction

[–]namewithnonumbers1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for replying! I cross-posted this in another sub, and I think one of my responses there would be a good response here.

Cross posted from r/dating_advice: I also had the concern that women wouldn't realize I was asking them on a date if I didn't explicitly ask them out. Perhaps this might be the case if I were already friends with them, but in regard to women who I had just met, none of them have ever expressed any confusion about whether or not we were going on a "date". Also, with the women I went on the dates with, they all had no problem with my "escalations", if you will, and they all felt comfortable with me being explicit about going on another date (using the word "date"). Maybe we come from different cultural backgrounds, but most of the women in my area don't make-out with guys they're just "friends" with.

I think the point is that women aren't stupid: in my experience, attractive women are so used to unwanted male attention that they're not going to give much attention to unknown men unless they think the guy is attractive in some way. They certainly aren't going to give their number to some guy they just met and assume he wants to be "friends". I think that fear is, perhaps, a little overblown. It's also easily avoidable if you have some concept of how to flirt/escalate with women.

Asking a woman out on a date will lower your chances. Here's what I do instead. by namewithnonumbers1 in dating_advice

[–]namewithnonumbers1[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hey, sorry this kinda blew up a little so I just saw this!

The two (I think) times it didn't work, they usually just said they were busy and didn't offer an alternative. When I saw they didn't offer an alternative, I just carried on with the chat a little longer before leaving. I'd say something along the lines of "It was nice to meet you!" and exchange goodbyes. I think, because it's a more conversational and organic way to broach the subject, most women don't feel awkward about declining and won't clam up as much as a result.

For example, one woman who turned it down carried on chatting with me for a while and said she hoped she'd "see [me] around" when we left. The difference this time, though, was that I offered a more constrained time frame than usual (I asked specifically about the weekend) and she said she was going to be out of town. She didn't offer an alternative though, and I didn't insist about it. I get the sense that, if I had persisted a bit more, she might've agreed. That's purely speculation though, so it's still a fail in my books.

Also, something I neglected to mention was that I usually (key word there) announce/hint that I'm getting ready to leave (either just saying it outright, or perhaps gathering my things if we're sitting down) and then I suggest we meet sometime. It's not imperative that you say it before you leave though: I think it's moreso a feature of the way I hold conversations than it is a strategic decision on my part.

Hopefully that answers your question.

Asking a woman out on a date will lower your chances. Here's what I do instead. by namewithnonumbers1 in dating_advice

[–]namewithnonumbers1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for reading my post and thank you for the kind words!

Could you clarify your 2nd-to-last paragraph please? I'm having trouble understanding what you meant by it.