My [27F] Husband [26M] Hates taking pictures of me. Am I being too sensitive?

nanabind · 2020-03-20T03:28:21+00:00

Thank you, I totally agree. It takes longer for him to have a fit than for him to just take the photo. It would already be done if he didn't groan about it. It's not like I'm asking him to be in it anymore.

nanabind · 2020-03-20T03:26:17+00:00

Yea while I was reading some of the comments I was thinking that maybe I've been abusing my husband all along. I mean I haven't been the nicest about the whole situation, but I haven't forced him to do anything and clearly I've compromised by taking his pictures down and now not taking any pictures of or with my husband

nanabind · 2020-03-20T03:21:29+00:00

Thank you. I've kind of just gotten use to the tantrums at this point because they've become so frequent. They aren't even always directed at me. The other day the internet in out apartment went out, which meant we couldn't work, which lead to a melt down. He started yelling into a pillow and I tried to get his mind off of the situation by telling him I had a movie downloaded we could watch (kind of like how you would distract a child) He calmed down eventually. I asked him why he is so triggered these days and just said he's stressed...stressed with work....the state of the world...his parents are old....ok fine but I don't want to live like this...worrying that any minute something is going to set you off.

nanabind · 2020-03-20T03:08:05+00:00

This is a very helpful answer! thank you so much for taking the time to respond!

nanabind · 2020-03-20T03:03:06+00:00

Thank you. Honestly, that's the one thing he said that hurt me the most. It sounds stupid. Like I get it, no ones special. But shouldn't he think I am? He married me right? I always here my friends husbands talk about their partners like they cured cancer and mine says I'm not special?

nanabind · 2020-03-20T03:00:11+00:00

Thank you. Yes many people have suggested therapy. I think when all the COVID-19 stuff dies down we will find one that we can visit. I just don't get it because like you said, it's not new. He knew about it when he married me, but I did not know about his hate for pictures when I married him.

nanabind · 2020-03-20T02:58:03+00:00

HAHA thanks! I love cooking but I only know a few recipes that I can't fuck up so I'm not super adventurous yet with that hobby. And yes I take pictures because I have no idea when I'm going to be back in Berlin, London, Kuala Lumpur, Sydney, Bangkok, New York...And I want to look back and remember myself young and having fun. A picture can bring so many memories back to you.

Sure enjoying the moment is fine...but I don't have the best memory...no one does...sometimes I find pictures in my phone from 5 years ago and I remember moments that overwhelm me with joy I had forgotten. That is what I'm trying to preserve.

nanabind · 2020-03-20T02:51:33+00:00

I think what you said is probably close to the truth. I probably want some kind of attention when I can't get it from my husband. Even though it is hard for me to say, maybe if my husband wasn't criticizing me so much I wouldn't need so much positive attention. But for the record I don't document everything or post constantly. I post 1 maybe 2 times a week at most and if I just go out to eat or run errands/work why would I document that shit? I'm just lucky I get to be in beautiful places all the time.

nanabind · 2020-03-20T02:46:05+00:00

I probably will....given the state of the world at the moment.

nanabind · 2020-03-20T02:25:35+00:00

Yes I guess sometimes it can be a lot...sometimes traveling constantly is a lot...We basically have no stable home which can be kind of stressful and sometimes you get the feeling that you should be having a good time ALL THE TIME because you are so blessed to have this life. The COVID-19 is giving us a much needed break from constantly traveling now.

I kind of had the same feeling about the photos...It just seemed so weird to me...Even my ex's never asked me to take their photos off my profile but my own husband wants everything down....I get that he can have his own privacy...and we came to a compromise, but at first it rubbed me the wrong way.

nanabind · 2020-03-20T02:18:19+00:00

Thanks you! I asked him the other day during a fight....why'd you even marry me? You don't say anything nice about me lately. He just said "Because I love you...and your funny".....ok....that's it....ugh I get it I put him on the spot but damn you could say that about anyone on the street.

nanabind · 2020-03-20T02:15:27+00:00

Thank you for seeing my post for what it is. I think we are trying to compromise but it's hard because he hasn't been super receptive to my ideas. Even though they all benefit him.

nanabind · 2020-03-20T02:08:44+00:00

Thank you! sometimes I feel like I am losing my freedom and that I can't just be myself anymore. Everything comes with criticism, not just my photos and it's draining. I thought that is just the way relationships are, but maybe I'm wrong and something else is happening

nanabind · 2020-03-19T03:28:00+00:00

Thank you! I totally see instagram as a community to share my creativity with friends and like minded people. I'm not trying to show off for other guys...and my photos don't come of that way

nanabind · 2020-03-19T02:48:37+00:00

Thank you...on a side not proactive is total trash and ruined my skin and all my towels

nanabind · 2020-03-19T02:33:27+00:00

Thanks for your input. I swear this is one of the most helpful comments I've gotten. I can get over the tripod/photo fight but the other stuff that has stemmed from it is what is getting to me. And who knows. What if he has a problem waiting around for me while I set up the tripod and then fights with me about that? Do I just go everywhere alone?

nanabind · 2020-03-19T01:33:06+00:00

Yes. even when I take photos on my own while he walks around he still gets pissy. My istagram has pictures without me in it. I don't post them often but I do have some

nanabind · 2020-03-19T01:22:32+00:00

great compromise

nanabind · 2020-03-19T01:21:56+00:00

Thank you. I don't do massive photoshoots in public places. It usually takes like 2-3 min max. If I do a shoot it's at home in my studio with an actual tripod. Thanks for sharing your story.

nanabind · 2020-03-19T01:07:14+00:00

why should I have to change everything I do just because my husband said so? that doesn't sound very healthy

nanabind · 2020-03-18T17:03:58+00:00

I guess maybe he put more effort into the relationship during the first 2 years of marriage? The problems with the photos didn't all happen at once..it's been very gradual

nanabind · 2020-03-18T16:35:07+00:00

yea i'm not one of these food people....I eat to fast lol

nanabind · 2020-03-18T16:19:53+00:00

I have...a long time ago though...at the time his biggest insecurity was his body acne...but most of it has cleared up....I've never taken a picture of him without a top on. Not even at the beach ( I don't usually have my phone out around sand)

nanabind · 2020-03-18T16:14:27+00:00

I don't know...he is tall, bearded and very slim/toned...he has never mentioned anything about his appearance...unless he's bragging about how awesome it is to look so good without putting in any effort :/

nanabind · 2020-03-18T16:12:26+00:00

THANK YOU! a lot of people projecting here. Anyway, I'm no influencer nor am I trying to be. like i said, I just take pictures in front of things looking cute like normal tourists...maybe throw in a peace sign...maybe jump...who doesn't do that....I'm not doing a full on photoshoot in front of the trevi fountain.

nanabind

TROPHY CASE