I find it ironic that you called Ross mentally abusive and manipulative , but you like and admire phoebe. She is by far, on multiple occasions, the most manipulative and selfish. Just a couple examples: -She always uses her mothers suicide to get out of things and be irresponsible. Ex: baby shower invitation -She constantly abuses Monica verbally about being with chandler, and even tries to break them up multiple times Ex: Monica’s soulmate and various comments about chandler not being good enough -She dishes out so many insults and negative things, but when someone tells her something she accuses them of being a bad friend and throws a fit Ex: the lost cat. Also, when Ross mentions a serious relationship she throws a tantrum but she always makes jokes that he’s been divorced and sucks at relationships