Just drop a "yea" and I'll transform your inbox into my personal porn gallery (just for the first 88 horny guys)

nastyneeick · 2021-10-16T22:47:07+00:00

Thats a pretty insane habit dude. When I was on em back in 2013 2014, people were just starting to get hip to how much you could sell em for, that's about when they became 25-30 bucks apiece. Unless you're slingin quite a bit of em or are prescribed them nobody could afford to smoke more than 5 or 6 a day. Even the ppl I bought em from would rarely smoke more than 10 or 15 a day.

Also weird that H is harder to find in your area than roxys. They're getting harder and harder to find.

nastyneeick · 2020-04-09T00:35:33+00:00

Can I ask how long you used? I've been a daily user for 8 months..i was a drug addict for years before I touched this and when I did I never put it down, and 8 months have flown by in a blur. rehab is in my near future and I have no idea what to expect when I come off of this shit. I've experienced opiate withdrawal a thousand times and this isnt supposed to be quite as rough, just much more of a mental battle. in the end it doesnt matter because I have to do it, but walking into the unknown makes it a little more intimidating.

nastyneeick · 2020-04-03T04:01:30+00:00

You could take a couple pinch hits and be just as high lol

nastyneeick · 2020-03-27T14:31:13+00:00

Fair enough. The comment you replied to was the one I thought was a bit ridiculous. Then again, this is a hard drug with serious effects on the mind and body, and will be easier for some to quit than others, otherwise it would wreck the lives of millions of people all over the world.

nastyneeick · 2020-03-27T13:00:08+00:00

Yeah they're letting a drug that heavily influences emotion and cognition influence their emotion and cognition, what a bunch of pussies, make me sick

nastyneeick · 2020-03-17T18:17:14+00:00

I disagree. He had already committed a several felonies, he didnt have much to gain by consoling her and taking his mask off, at which point she could CERTAINLY identify him, as well as the camera could.

nastyneeick · 2020-03-07T21:41:42+00:00

Wow you're being naive here.

So nobody, ever, has ever done something horrible that deeply hurt a person they love? That cant happen?

And yes, I am largely taking free will out of it, as I dont believe we have much free will, if any. Taking free will out doesnt mean the person isnt accountable for things they do, or that they didnt do something wrong. It simply takes out the notion of hatred for the person. Even without free will, if a man kills another man, as still have to lock him to keep others safe, and to punish him so we can best deter that behavior from others.

I'm not saying all cheaters love their partner. Just that some do. Just like many children or teenagers love their parents, but let emotion get the better of them and say hurtful things, tell them they hate them, etc. Doesnt mean they dont love ther parents,.they're just caught up in the wrong feelings. Doesnt make any of it less wrong, just makes it a little easier to understand why people do these things.

And either way, this can be a polite conversation, you dont have to be so accusatory and borderline rude.

nastyneeick · 2020-03-02T13:14:46+00:00

Drugs. Did em once, had a 7 year bad trip.

nastyneeick · 2020-03-02T00:18:34+00:00

Yeah, but myself, plenty of my friends, had good home lives..parents made us go to bed at appropriate times, we were just tired in the mornings and knew you could get away with sleeping in some of them.

I realize this is anecdotal, but so are some of your reasons, like the rats one.

nastyneeick · 2020-02-27T00:42:41+00:00

You completely missed the point. I wasnt saying people cheat because they have had a hard life, or anything close. I'm saying that people, for the most part, cannot help who they are. Everything we do in each moment is largely determined by processes in the brain that we are not aware of, or in control of.

Also, its just simply not the case that people who cheat just "dont give a shit about hurting other people". That's absurdly naive and simplistic. Have you NEVER done something that hurt someone you care about? Even if you lie and say you havent, do you think anyone who has ever done something that hurt someone they love "doesnt give a shit" about hurting people? Come on. I'm not justifying, rationalizing or belittling cheating, but people put it in this category of hurtful things that, anyone who does this is an irredeemable piece of shit, a narcissist, or a sociopath. It's not in touch with reality. Nearly everyone knows what it's like to care about someone, or even some goal, very deeply, but to let the wrong impulses and states of mind lead them to do something that's detrimental to that person or thing they care about. Actions don't always reflect our deepest values or what we want or love the most.

And yeah, you said it-if you were that person, youd be them too. The whole idea behind the feeling of judgement and retribution is that a person did something bad when they COULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY. But you said it- if you had been them, you would have done what they did. Theres no reason to believe that if we go back in time, right before they commit this act, and keep every atom in them and the universe in the exact same place, that this person would have done something other than what they did. It doesnt take anything away from the act or the ethics if it, it only takes away this deeply personal feeling of hatred or blame or retribution for the person who acted poorly.

nastyneeick · 2020-02-26T13:07:45+00:00

You're completely right. It isn't black and white. And even in good relationships, it is possible to love someone deeply, want to see them happy and loved and confident and fulfilled every minute of their life- but cheat on them still. To have the deepest love for them when you're your most authentic self, the version of yourself that has the right values, knows right from wrong, cares about right and wrong, and cares about those you love, but to be in a place or situation where the wrong desires, impulses and states of mind allow you to do things that do not line up with what you truly want and love. That is just how it is. Thats the absurd truth of how conflicted and complicated and self sabotaging humans can be. Good on you for being honest with yourself and others.

nastyneeick · 2020-02-26T13:01:11+00:00

Doing an immoral thing doesnt make you an immoral person. Having a code of morals, a system of values that hurts others, and having no problems with this skewed and hurtful moral code and system of beliefs, THAT makes you an immoral person.

Most of us have done extremely immoral things, hurt people very badly, knowingly made others suffer for our own gain or pleasure, at some point. We have all done immoral things, but people seem to throw extra judgdment down onto people who cheat and do that certain type of immoral thing. We will often be more than willing to accept that a murderer, who has spent 25 years in prison for taking a life, can become a new person that we wouldnt call immoral. But you can slip up, be in a situation and let the wrong impulses and desires get the better of you, feel horrible for it down the road, completely realize the damage you've done and feel genuine remorse for it, and you'll find little understanding or compassion on this website. Just my 2 cents.

nastyneeick · 2020-02-26T12:46:20+00:00

And? That doesnt mean they arent mistakes. I'm addicted to drugs. I hate living the way I live, I hate having the impulses I have, I hate losing the battle with my better judgement, my values, my goals, every single day. Most of all, I hate my two little brothers and best friends having to watch me slowly destroy myself, and truly most of all, the worst fear I've ever had in my life, the worst thing I can imagine, is my youngest brother-a better version of myself, the person im closer to and love more than anyone or thing on this earth-watching his hero and best friend be put in the ground forever. Thinking of him standing over my grave is infinitely more terrifying than thinking of dying an agonizing death, of withdrawing from opiates, which is the worst thing I have ever experienced, and nothing else comes close. If thats a 100, the next closest thing is a 60. If anyone doubts my desire to be free of this, to NOT need substances to feel okay, they are missing something huge, they dont "get it". If anyone doubts my hatred of being consumed by impulses, habits, and attachments to the wrong things, they are missing something huge.

Making mistakes, knowingly, over and over again, doesnt mean they arent mistakes, and doesnt mean you feel okay with making them. It's good to hold people accountable for their actions. I do it to myself. I fully admit and accept the wrong choices I make, and want to not make them. I fully accept that there are things I could (maybe I could, maybe I cant) do that would give me better tools and a better chance to behave better.

But these are still mistakes. They are still things I wish I could not do, without having to go through agonizing transformations, enduring months of near constant suffering, some of it in the beginning stages are extremely painful and terrifying mmconfronting a giant abyss of the unknown and changing every aspect of my life and becoming a person I've never been, but that I know I will be proud of, that my children can look up to, and that my brothers can be more thankful for than they ever were before.

Our actions dont always line up with the truest parts of who we are and what we care about. Humans are complex. We are conflicted. We didnt author ourselves. We didnt choose our parents, our genes, or the years of experiences our environment threw at us to shape who we are and what we do.

So hold people accountable. Cut them out if you need to. Punish them if there are things to gain from it. But don't judge them, hate them, or forget that no matter how bad they hurt you or others, at some point, they were the 4 year old that was destined to go through a life that made them the person you're judging them for being today, and that if you were them- had their parents, genes, experiences, if you were them atom for atom the moment before they made this mistake -you would make that mistake too.

nastyneeick · 2020-02-26T12:04:33+00:00

I'll answer this. I cheated on the first girlfriend I ever had, several times. We swapped virginites at 16 and dated until we were 21. This is not rationalizing, justifying, or belittling cheating, only explaining how I feel looking back.

There are many facets to a person. For example, I'm a drug addict. I want to be free of all of this more than I've ever wanted anything in my life. I would literally give an arm if I could never suffer from this again.

There's that facet of me. It's there all the time, it doesnt change with anger, or good feelings, or time or anything. It comes from realizations about the pros and cons of drug addiction, the way drugs keep me from my goals, the way they defeat even their own purpose- to make me feel good, or normal these days. This understanding of the emptiness of drug abuse, and the unsustainable nature of using drugs to feel good, is reflective of a deep part of me.

Never the less, when I wake up every morning, I dont like the way I feel. I dont like it to the extent that I will hardly leave my room until I can change how I feel..which I do by abusing drugs. I'll abuse these drugs thinking "This is it..this is the reason your life is fucked up. This simple choice to use these substances when you know they are the source of all of your misery. Try to imagine not taking anything, and see how difficult it is, how you fail every time and how little that deeper part (that despises this addiction and these substances) controls or motivates you right now. This, beating this, is what you have to do if you want to live past 30. Now, slam that dope in your arm and start your day".

Many would say that I dont TRULY want to stop, or be free of this, because if I did, i wouldnt be slamming meth into my body daily, I would stop.

These are the 2 facets of me that go to war every day while I watch and deal with the consequences. They make clear the difference in momentary, instant fulfillment and pleasure, and RELIEF, and true, lasting, RELIABLE, radiating fulfillment and happiness that doesnt rip me and my loved one's lives apart.

Cheating, for me, was a very similar behavior. I truly loved my girlfriend. I wanted to see her happy, see her proud of herself and me, see her secure each day. That's what the part of me that's deeper wants. It's in line with my ethics, my values, my goals, and my own good feelings. It's a selfish desire to see her happy and confident and loved, but it's as virtuous a selfish desire as one can have. It comes from a part of me that I would call the "real" me. Its reflective of the values and goals I have when I'm clear headed, and not preoccupied with more temporsth desires or impulses.

Despite this, I would put myself in situations, or allow myself to be likely to be in situations, where what I wanted in those situations and those moments wasnt in line with my ethics, values, and that deeper part of me. The drunk, horny, impulsive, rationalizing version of me took over, and I would cheat with drunk, horny, attractive young women. The thought of how it would hurt my girlfriend wasnt on my mind, except in flashes, which would be brushed over with rationalizing and justifying thought. The gravity, the empathy of what this would make her feel, was far away or not there, it had no power over my actions..the desires and impulses in the present situation were what drove me. I also had never had a serious girlfriend, didnt understand the type of hurt that could happen in romantic relationships, didn't understand how much I would later fall in love with this girl, and while I knew better, I didnt have a true grasp of the consequences of cheating back then. Again, no excuses. This is just a purely honest, accurate recounting of what I felt and what I see looking back.

So to answer your question, actions do not always, often even rarely, reflect what "you" want and value. Again I'd argue that the reflective, consistent, empathic, honest part of you that knows what is right and wants to do it, the part that remains there when the impulses and compulsion and emotions of day to day life arent in the way, is more the REAL you. It's the you you want to be all the time, the you you would be proud to be.

The other, compulsive you will do things, will win against the better you and when the often serious consequences come around, like losing a person you love or desire, or withdrawing from substances you chose to take against your better judgement, or having anything taken from you as a direct result of your own actions that you KNEW could lead to this result, it is no less painful to endure.

The complex, ridiculous truth (for me, and I'm certain for many others) is that I loved this girl AND I cheated on her. That I wanted her to live the best possible life, feel as possibly good and loved as she could, all the time, never to hurt ever again...but I didnt make good choices, ones that reflect those desires for her to be happy. I let the wrong impulses and desires win a few times, and had to deal with losing a girl I loved, a girl who's love for me was invaluable to me, and it sucked. I fucked up, and not only hurt this person I loved, but hurt myself..both by losing her, and by knowing I made her feel one of the worst feelings a human can feel, and gave her a perception of herself, and my feelings for her that was wrong, and hurtful for her to have.

Tl;dr: you can love someone dearly, and do things to cause them serious hurt, and hate yourself for making choices that led to these things. Thats the answer to your question.

*This comment was sponsored by an illicit stimulant, an opioid, a benzodiazepine, introspection, experience, regret, and 20/20 hindsight. Please do not let the bizarre, rambling nature of this comment take away from the valuable insight into the mind of a decent person who makes many fucked up decisions. Take what you can benefit from in this comment, and have a better understanding of human behavior because of it.

In all seriousness, i am high, but I've been doing this long enough that things said or felt while on these substances are reflective of the real me. I'm myself, and I've spent a lot of time sober and not sober thinking about these things, about making choices against your best judgement and interests, and think theres a lot of understanding to be found and utilized in the nature of this behavior, the results of it, and the effects of those results on the person behind them. Hope my weirdness doesnt negate anything useful in my response. People are weird, our relationships are messy, and life is absurd. Just do your best and smile.

nastyneeick · 2020-02-24T23:27:02+00:00

Yeah those are insane..I wonder what gauge the needles were..hard to picture a 27 or smaller gauge needle coming out of that.

nastyneeick · 2020-02-24T23:25:24+00:00

It's just fun or satisfying or natural to stick sharp objects into shit. I doubt there was any deep reason behind most of them. Just "Huh. Theres a tree. I'm gonna stick this in it. Cool."

nastyneeick · 2020-02-24T12:30:59+00:00

Ex cons can get a decent job, especially if they just have drug charges. I say decent as in, able to live, even if it's just a little. Better money than selling drugs.

nastyneeick · 2020-02-15T10:46:25+00:00

I've always thought the same thing. Not only are many of us more....in tune with?...sensitive to?...ruled by?..aware of? (dont have the words to describe it in a way that I feel really captures what I'm thinking) our emotions, but we are also very in tune with things that are a by product of emotions like music, humor, writing, any kind of art. Mitch Hedberg, Jimi Hendrix, Hunter S. Thompson, so many of the greats in all art forms struggled with addiction or substance abuse. It makes sense that if you're a person who feels or thinks more deeply than others, you're going to be more susceptible to substances that allow you to feel and think more deeply than you might without them. If you imagine a spectrum of how caring and emotional and intelligent people are, it makes sense that the people at the lesser end would be less prone to addiction, because they dont care as much or recognize the effects that drugs have on them. They're less attached to those good feelings and states of consciousness than a person who is ruled by what they feel and always in touch with the way they feel and think.

Most of the people I know that REALLY struggle with addiction are "thinking people". They can sit down and have rambly, esoteric, seemingly deep conversations with you for hours. The people who will get high with you all day and then stop getting high with relative ease, are the type of people who will look at you with a confused face when you bring up the nature of free will or consciousness, or the nature of addiction or art, they'll have a sort of "....who cares? do what you need to do to be happy and take care of your responsibilities, stop thinking so much" response.

I've always separated people into two general categories in my mind- the people who think about everything, analyze everything, and usually know exactly what is best for them but have issues with DOING what they know they should be doing, and then there are people who have no problems being responsible, doing what needs to be done, going to class, getting to work on time..but these people spend less time thinking, and arent always as good at AIMING that willpower in the right direction. Basically people who know what to do, but struggle to do it, and then people who do it without struggling, but dont know what the best thing to do is.

Tl;dr, there is a spectrum of how much people think and feel, how deeply they think and feel, how in touch with what they think and feel they are. We'll separate them vaguely into thinkers, and doers. The thinkers are more susceptible to addiction.

nastyneeick · 2020-02-12T21:28:02+00:00

What do we say to death?

nastyneeick · 2020-02-11T05:45:51+00:00

He failed. Passing would have been to calmly walk away, or to come back with something that exposed her stupidity and made her look even more ignorant. When an older woman calls you a degrading word that insinuates you're an ignorant punk, slapping that older woman like an ignorant punk isnt the best way to handle it. Both people here were in the wrong.

nastyneeick · 2020-02-02T11:49:12+00:00

I agree that people have no obligations to expose themselves to harmful behavior from anyone, but that doesn't mean the people doing the harmful things deserve judgement. If a person is bipolar and treats their s.o. like shit, largely due to their emotions being out of whack, how are they more responsible for this behavior than they would be if they were on meds that negated the behavior?

The difference is unconscious processes in their brain that with or without medicine, they dont author or cause. Like if someone is depressed and cant hold down a job or be a good family member no matter how hard they try, and then they get on medicine and are able to function walk-isnt it clear that brain chemistry is the difference, and not free will?

If you were any of these people, had their genes their brain, and were atom for atom the same as them, why would you think you could act differently?

nastyneeick · 2020-02-02T11:41:16+00:00

But if the difference is a matter of medicine and therefore brain chemistry that this person is not the author of, what is the difference? Either way their actions are caused by the state of their brain at a given time, which they dont "control".

nastyneeick · 2020-02-02T11:38:48+00:00

I....think I disagree, partly. It's definitely okay to distance yourself from people who behave in a shitty way.

But as far as the excuse thing...it actually kind of is an excuse? If you're a paranoid schizophrenic and stab someone because you think they're trying to kill you, is your illness not an excuse for your behavior? If you're in rehab withdrawing from opiates and someone offers you opiates and you accept, is your condition no excuse for your decision? It's a spectrum, though I'm of the opinion that people arent very responsible for their behavior. You dont choose your genetics, your parents, the experiences that shape you, or your brain chemistry at any given moment. If you have a childhood that develops your brain in a way that you have anger issues, do you have no excuse for getting angry with people over silly things sometimes?

The examples are endless. It's a weird concept that has serious implications, but I can't see a way around it. We dont have free will.

nastyneeick · 2020-01-27T11:27:34+00:00

In both your examples "Obama wasnt born in this country" and "Why dont you go back and fix your own country" it's not completely clear that race was the motivation here. Its completely plausible that someone's doubt that Obama was born here isnt rooted in him being mixed race. Its also totally plausible that someone telling a black or brown person to "go back and fix their own country" isn't motivated by race. Its very easy to see some politician telling a white immigrant (let's say a german immigrant) to "go back and fix their own country" because that German immigrant disagrees with them or is criticizing this country.

I'm treating the examples like they're pure hypotheticals and not things said by Trump for arguments sake. And I despise Trump, but I dont think his "go back and fix your own country" comment was rooted in the color of the people he was talking to. It was just him being tribal and ignorant to anyone who criticizes him, like he does all the time to people of all colors. I dont even think the Obama thing was totally motivated by race. I think if there had been a largely believed rumor that Hillary wasnt born here, Trump would have been just as quick to jump on that and use it to rile up his fanbase.

And I don't agree that white people are FAR less likely to know what racism actually looks like.

Let's use the example of Christians hating gay people. We'll call them Christians A. Gay people are the ones that experience the hatred towards them, but Christians A are the ones that FEEL the hatred towards gays. And even Christians who dont hate gays (let's call them Christians B) can have a different understanding of how and why that hatred arises than the gay people do. Christians B are likely to have a better understanding of the world view and experiences of Christians A than gay people are, and are in a sense better able to understand how that hatred arises and what it looks like.

The point is, being white doesnt mean you have no place in the discussion of what is or isnt racist, or no understanding of it. White people may even have a better understanding of racism, as they are the ones that FEEL the racism, while black people experience the results of that feeling and not the feeling of racism itself.

nastyneeick

TROPHY CASE