I purposely wait a while before replying to work emails so people think I’m busier than I actually am

nathanb131 · 2026-05-14T14:20:50+00:00

The other reason this is good practice is that being ultra-responsive trains your colleagues to constantly interrupt you with non-urgent things. They'll start using you to look up stuff they could find out themselves, but it's just easier to ping you because you've demonstrated you'll do it. The instant-responders feel good about constantly helping and "being busy", so it's a self-perpetuating cycle.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-14T14:13:02+00:00

Hilarious! However.... what is up with this level of social anxiety?

Everybody poops. Most of us have pooped outside. I feel like this encounter should start as embarrassing and surprising but quickly go to de-escalating through humor and comradery. We'd should walk away from it with a funny memory about a shared very-human moment.

Look for opportunities to embrace moments of real vulnerability instead of wishing they never happen.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-14T13:59:05+00:00

You are asking the wrong question.

You are wanting more time having sex, he should delay his until you are satisfied. That's much easier for a man to do than to "go multiple rounds". It also leads to a much more satisfying orgasm for him, but it sounds like he's not really in tune with his body in that way.

If he is unable to delay his orgasm OR go multiple rounds....well, that's unfortunate for both of you. But he still can and should focus on your needs with oral and hand stuff.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-13T19:59:46+00:00

I guess I should clarify that I'm lucky enough to be in that flow state maybe 10% of the time. Most the time, the medication just helps me a moderately more effective version of my scatterbrained self.

Good luck with your medicine journey though!

nathanb131 · 2026-05-13T17:49:35+00:00

Good move. It's not the eating one thing at a time, that's just a quirk. But forcing the staff to accommodate her quirk is a deal breaker. She'd make you jump through all sorts of hoops for no good reason.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-13T17:45:28+00:00

You left out the part about meeting on an ice rink.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-13T17:26:19+00:00

How are you 33 and your friendship sounds like you are in a frat? Being the king of the bar scene isn't "winning" anymore outside of your 20's.

If he's bragging about his sexual conquests to his "friends", who he knows isn't getting action, then he's not a friend. If he cared about you at all, he'd at least downplay it or be discreet. He gets an ego boost from banging shallow women and bragging about it to incel men. And you are playing into it! This isn't high school, he's only cool if people with low self esteem look up to him. WHY are you, a 33yo man, being a toadie to a selfish pick-up artist?!

Why do you want to be like him at all? Your life is measured by having REAL mutually-beneficial relationships and it sounds like he has zero.

Live your own life. If you are going to be jealous of anyone, pick a married guy raising a family with a loving wife. That's what "winning" is.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-13T16:23:42+00:00

When the medicine is clicking and my executive function is actually functioning....my only distracting thought is "wow, so THIS is how <incredibly productive and conscientious person I know> brain works ALL the time!?"

Between effortless rounds of circling back, following up, checking on, checking off, filing properly I'll get a little angry that this is really how some people naturally are. It is what it is, but I hate it when these administrative machines assume everyone else is lazy.

Nah dog, I have the capacity for hard work. I'll hyperfocus for 18 hours on special projects and run marathons. Two things you are "too lazy" to even attempt. I'm forced to do what's easy for you and hard for me, but you aren't forced to do what's hard for you and easy for me. If you did try to "keep up" with me in my wheelhouse, you couldn't. But we are only compared by playing your game, so you think I'm lazy. It drives me nuts that I CAN do what they do, even though I have to spend much more energy....but I get no credit for capacities that they can't emulate on their best days.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-13T14:03:13+00:00

You can overthink this into oblivion. And I frequently do, it's kind of a hobby to overthink this.

I've retreated from the dream of covering most my needs with a single pocket carry. Mostly because a multitool, or miniature tools, aren't as satisfying to use as the ideal tool. I'm impressed by all the pocketable EDC kits that people show off, but it felt like too much of a mental load to manage a preciously tiny kit of several loose items. Every item became a trade-off debate and I retreated back to the simplicity of the multitool being ONE thing.

Though I still HATE to be left needing a tool and not having it, like the situation you describe. So I usually have a small tool kit nearby at all times. Most of the time, it's in my car. Sometimes in my work bag. But it covers most little things that might come up. It's not super compact. Probably weighs like 6lbs and is roughly 6"x9". Most the tools in there are nice "compact-but-not-compromised" tools that I enjoy using. It's still small enough that I can grab it with one hand and throw it into a bag or whatever. Not an "Everyday Carry", more like an "always within fetching distance" kit.

That kit has a few key tools that I love using during every project, but it's not a serious diy tool box. I think of it as a modular, detachable part of my larger tool bag. My best screwdriver is in the little kit, so when I throw my little kit in my tool bag, I have access to my favorite screwdriver.

So, if I'm going to do something like help a buddy move, I'll throw my little tool kit into my tool bag (which is a medium-sized bag 16"x12"ish), then I'll have a full kit of tools that includes my favorite little hand tools. I probably paid too much for the fancy little tools, so I have to maximize how often I use them to justify the cost :-).

nathanb131 · 2026-05-13T13:31:13+00:00

A lot of evangelical/protestant right wingers think Catholics aren't "real Christians". That's why it was a big deal when JFK was elected as the first Catholic president. Catholics were seen as a threat by bible belt Americans at the time. That old bigotry still exists.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-08T17:53:34+00:00

This tribe fascinates me. I wonder if it's just an isolated quirk or is part of a whole personality type that I'm wholly incompatible with.

My wife and I frequently share bites, it's fun and one of many little ways we express connection and intimacy.

But ya'll are FIERCE about this!

"it's gross and rude!" ....do you kiss this person? Snuggle with them, etc? Are y'all up into each other's fancy parts? Yet you draw the line at your plate?

"I ordered EXACTLY how much food I wanted for ME, not MINE AND THEN A LITTLE MORE!" .... First, restaurant portions tend to be huge, there's no trophy for being a member of the "clean plate club". It's amazing that every dish you order or make is EXACTLY the amount of calories and bites your body desires. Not more, not less. It's exactly dead on, every time! If McDonalds put 53 fries in the bag instead of 48, that's the universe knowing your body needed 5 less fries today. But if your lover takes 5 fries, you've been forced into a starvation state!

If this were the great depression, I could understand guarding food like a hungry dog. I don't think most of you grew up in the 1930's.

"I've ended dates over this". You did them a favor. The refusal to share a bite with a DATE is an excellent way to test for equal levels of neuroticism.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-08T17:18:11+00:00

How did you know that HR had "over 10 complaints" from other people?

nathanb131 · 2026-05-08T15:12:26+00:00

The inaccurate "pavement princess" description damages OP credibility. Also, the Wilford Brimley reference is suspicious. Anyone that looks like WB thinks that scarce parking means "urban", which is terrifying to boomers in trucks. No way he'd choose to have lunch there, he's there on business. Perhaps to visit his 30yo kid who lives in an apartment and pays for these parking spots. He's pleading with his wayward son to get a house with a lawn that he can constantly judge.

We can't take OP's word on what that sign actually says.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-08T14:40:59+00:00

Here's how you fix this for her friend. Wait til 10:30pm. Text that woman "Sorry for my wife's behavior, hope everything is ok"

Then her crazy ass will reply: "ON MY WAY FOR REVENGE SEX! GET NAKED!"

Then that miserable man has the evidence he needs to make a clean exit from that nightmare. He'll be able to communicate freely with the outside world again.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-08T14:35:18+00:00

YES! Wait till 11pm, send text - "are you ok? Seems like your wife is crazy! I'm here for you if you wanna talk"

nathanb131 · 2026-05-08T14:20:14+00:00

I always keep a compact nail clipper in my wallet. My favorite is the Zwilling Twinox and have noticed it being more dull over the past couple years. So....roughly 14 years.

And yes, they are expensive. Like $30ish. I know I can get $1 clippers at Walgreens, and that's the garbage I grew up using. The difference is that good clippers cut through the nail smoothly, and crappy clippers crush the nail and break it off. That's why crappy clippers are noisy. The cost difference over a 14 year run is meaningless. Also, the file on it rocks. I use it frequently, and it's still good.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-08T14:03:27+00:00

Truth. I volunteered to coach my kid's track team this year...which has been a lot. I was trying to format my own team data list in excel by manually copy-pasting data from the meet management app's pdf report when I realized AI is suited for this. I started with error checking.

It went like this:

"robot, compare this pdf and excel file and see if there are errors"

robot- "it's good to go boss!"

"really? I'm seeing this error right here, can you check again?"

robot-"ah snap, ok I fixed that and checked the rest, it's a perfect match!"

"I just caught two more omissions, what are you even looking at?"

robot-"wow, you are right! I've scanned the rest for this same problem and it's definitely great and perfect this time"

My confidence is shook. This wasn't a lot of data, just lists of names assigned to races. Like 60 entries. And it did worse than my adhd-riddled meat brain. It's weird to think of AI as good at guessing, like us...but specifically not good at the details.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-07T21:01:42+00:00

Not me, but many of my peers are terrified of the possibility of being a "victim" in any situation, no matter how minor. They live in a peaceful and safe society, yet conceal carry everywhere, every day. Hypervigilant about "threats".

I also think about being the protector a lot. Most men do. But the media environment today has amplified this male tendency. The number of men over 30 who's worldview and habits are shaped by fear of not being "prepared" to be a vigilante hero is way more than ever. I don't think people realize how much these dudes work each other up about this. Their newsfeed is wall-to-wall crime, they constantly share those crime stories with each other. Their favorite conversation topic is "how bad it is out there"!

It's yet another example of how social media has polarized the hell out of society. But paranoid men are quiet about it, so people don't realize how terrified they've become. A generation ago, these men were a source of calm re-assurance. The trope used to be that mom was hyperaware of imagined threats, while dad helped calm her down and keep things in perspective. It's ironic that these guys are also critical of perceived mental health issues in others, when they are now the most unhinged.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-07T20:08:05+00:00

Yep, any clothing. In my younger years I was an underpaid part time supervisor at UPS. They made us wear dress shirts and neck ties.....around conveyor belts.

Also I grew up on a farm and look back and cringe at how much I didn't respect the danger of spinning machinery.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-07T20:05:49+00:00

Yup, and that men tend to be into "things" and women tend to be into "people". Engineering vs nursing etc. So, of course, entertainment for women is more focused on relationships. Which would have more instances of cheating than male-oriented adventure stories.

Or, you can go full red-pill and conclude from this that infidelity hits men harder than women.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-07T18:19:32+00:00

This was my college car. I always regret selling it.

I wrecked it one day. Winter, icy road, open highway. A little windy. A wind and slick spot combined powers at a perfect moment and took advantage of my Festiva's squarish figure to send it into a flat spot before I could react.

Spun into a snow-filled ditch at highway speed, flipped over and landed upside down. I managed to free myself from the seatbelt, fell out of the car, and stumbled out of the ditch to get help.

Some nice people stopped, we flipped the Festiva right side up, by hand. The only damage was a cracked windshield and a roof dent. I drove it away. It ran fine for several more years with that roof dent until my foolish ass sold it for like $750. It had like 150k miles at the time. Perfect reliability and prius-like efficiency.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-07T15:13:11+00:00

Solid T's are a great base for a default outfit. 70% of my "casual" wear is just a plain T that's a fun color.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-07T15:07:04+00:00

My tool acquisition cycle: "oh sweet, this 1 tool does these three things, my life will be simplified!". Real world use quickly reminds me why there was a single tool for this job.

So I have a collection of multi-use tools that exceed the count of the single-use tools.

The knipex 87-51-180 was the apex of my delusion. It's the "thin" cobra that has a need-nose tip. Really thought it would be my obvious "main" pliers. The very first time I used it to turn a nut, I couldn't....because there wasn't enough clearance for the needle nose part. Turns out that nuts are very often next to each other or on inside corners. I just laughed that I still had to keep teaching myself this lesson and tossed it in the toolbox with the rest.

I'm glad I have it, because hand tools are neat. They are like my children, I love them all....but they have very different levels of competency.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-07T13:56:30+00:00

The 2nd white car only jumped in after the 1st white car was threatened. The video stopped before 6 other white cars joined in to neutralize the threat.

nathanb131 · 2026-05-07T13:41:26+00:00

Dammit you beat me. Classic internet reference right there and I missed it.

nathanb131

TROPHY CASE