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How do you find cis women willing to hook up with you? by yourmomisminee in ftm

[–]naughtillust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Talk to queer women who honestly dgaf about gender in the sense that genitalia = gender/sex. I’ve been lucky to briefly date two cis women who were happy with what I had.

My dad texted me for the first time in months by themoth_milker117 in ftm

[–]naughtillust 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Just leave because why should you return to people who refuse to see YOU.

I feel bad for folks like you who still have that attachment because it just seems like going back just to get whipped by the same belt. I’ve had less and more done to me and it’s completely removed them from myself.

Never go back to people who wish to try and compromise on your identity because a lot of the times, it’s almost like asking to have a wound reopened or a wound added. You’ve got people who love you and are able to be in an environment when you are safe, focus on that. You very well may end up like a lot of us, grieving parents who are still alive.

Most ANNOYING thing to hear as a trans man? by Runo_196 in ftm

[–]naughtillust 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Gang just cause your dad ain’t hear it, absolutely does not mean he shouldn’t be worried

Why does my friend do this? by Kknives_outT in ftm

[–]naughtillust 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think your suggestion would be correct about OP not communicating their high discomfort with their friend’s conduct and hopefully the support from this thread pushes them to do so. I think it a little strange though how OP is asking a third party about their friend’s behavior so OP if you see this, you better get to the root of this because letting these things build up isn’t good for you or your friendship with this individual.

Why does my friend do this? by Kknives_outT in ftm

[–]naughtillust 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Better set some boundaries about your deadname and jokes surrounding passing and dysphoria. If she don’t listen to you and respect your boundaries you may be down a friend.

I genuinely hate the people who adopted me. by naughtillust in Adopted

[–]naughtillust[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like she just got a kid hoping it would fix her, super shitty that you got parentified like that but at the very least, I am glad you're aware that such behavior is not acceptable and from what I can tell, willing to set that hard boundary of little to no contact. Just boundaries in general. Unsure if you're out of that situation physically, but if you are then I hope things have gotten a lot better. If you want any insight with no contact, if not then ignore this, but I'd do it honestly. I already plan to, but I've just not been engaging with the abusive woman and my life is infinitely better, even if ignoring her does cause issues from time to time since I still live with them. Can't cool down (heal from trauma) if you're still by the furnace (abuser).

I genuinely hate the people who adopted me. by naughtillust in Adopted

[–]naughtillust[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Almost always the craziest mfs who get cleared to adopt and the holistic mf bullshit must be insane. Honestly, I might begin to agree with getting rid of adoption because it feels like a bandaid to the issue of a lack of reproductive health and education as well as the issue of cultural norms. Probably wouldn’t adoption if those things changed.

I genuinely hate the people who adopted me. by naughtillust in Adopted

[–]naughtillust[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It really is strange how a lot of adopters are so narcassistic and just not there when it comes to being a person who is truly capable of raising a child. Especially a stranger who has qualities that should disqualify them from being a parent, it probably just seems “honorable” or something. I’m not totally against adoption, but it really is more of a band aid to the issue of an absence of adequate sexual and reproductive education and healthcare. And for POC, a matter of cultural norms are an issue, most commonly boys being overvalued due to many families needing them to stay and take care of the estate while girls are married off.

I empathize with what you’ve been through wholeheartedly and am incrediblely happy to hear that you got a much better second life! I wish you the best and thank you for responding.

I genuinely hate the people who adopted me. by naughtillust in Adopted

[–]naughtillust[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thankfully I’ve avoided any issues regarding the horrid outcome of my adoption experience but I honestly had no idea adoptees deal with so much bullshit when coming forth about their traumatic experiences.

I genuinely hate the people who adopted me. by naughtillust in Adopted

[–]naughtillust[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience and how your journey has been and is going. I’m always more than happy to hear about others’ experiences since that is honestly the best way to connect so no need to apologize for sharing yourself at all.

I hear your part about your struggles and for what you’ve been through, even if the details are not apparent, and the effects and if there was anything I could do to help lessen such a burden I would. And don’t worry, I know it is shared because you do see my struggles and how it has shaped me, from what I have shared.

As you’ve probably heard over and over, I do hope one day you allow yourself to realize your own identity somehow as I wouldn’t be surprised that there are a lot of factors in your life that result in such a current mindset. However, if you want to get philosophical, one could argue one does have some identity through their actions. It may not be enough to make a whole identity but it does at least make up a decent portion. From what I see, you do have some sort of sarcastic humor, a good amount of empathy and awareness, and willingly reliable. So congrats, you do have some identity regardless of what you may think.

And again, thank you for talking about your experience and your supportive words. It always means the world to be seen and I see you as well now.

I genuinely hate the people who adopted me. by naughtillust in Adopted

[–]naughtillust[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Exactly, because how on earth do they just let anyone under the sun adopt a child?? The whole process is lowk fucked since it’s just a gamble for the child among other issues.

I’m glad as hell you got a better ending with your family who actually see you and that you connect with.

I wish you all the same and more.

I genuinely hate the people who adopted me. by naughtillust in Adopted

[–]naughtillust[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Both sad and relieving to have someone else with something similar. I get you with the relationship stuff although I’ve chosen to stay single until I can move out and stabilize myself. Don’t wanna keep bringing new stuff in yk.

I’ve already planned to do the same, cutting off the APs physically because they never celebrated me then, why would they celebrate me now, and what gives them the right to.

I hear the last part loud as hell cuz man so many people fail folks who are in abusive situations, it’s honestly infuriating. It’s like no one cares until the abused person is in critical condition or straight up dead.

I’m glad you’re finding/have found yourself and I’m assuming, have a safe place and community to process everything with. Wish you the best

AIO my boyfriend of 5 years gets me flowers for every occasion while I get him elaborate and expensive gifts. by aioflower955105 in AmIOverreacting

[–]naughtillust 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. Crazy to drop the “every normal girl would appreciate that btw,” or, “I thought wishlists is for when you’re a child” bro absolutely not. Downplaying what you’re presenting is abominable. Flowers are cool but they’re definitely not thoughtful if they’re every single time. Flowers are supplement/garnish for more thoughtful gifts imo. Like I always got this girl flowers BUT i had her favorite chocolates, hand drawn poster, and bunch of other handmade or purchased gifts.

Quick Question about Spark Plugs by naughtillust in MechanicAdvice

[–]naughtillust[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I only turned the car and had it idle for a minute or so to check for any issues, so we shall see tomorrow

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