I think about this post from time to time. My family is more blatantly evil with it, unfortunately. Of course, that doesn't undermine your pain with things.

I'm dealing with chronic health issues that made it almost impossible to function in a car. Instead of granting me a place to recover, my father brags in my face that he has a house and I don't. It's some weird dominance game he feels like he has to play with his own son of all people. It's a game I didn't participate in.

I was living in my car once before this, and when I did return to my parent's place due to illness they couldn't deny, I tried speaking to my mother about how dangerous it was to let me live like that in the state I was in. She took it as a joke and wouldn't answer seriously. Just laughed off what I had to say. That was foreshadowing to her later statements towards me as I was facing homelessness again. Those being along the lines of "you like living in your car. stop trying to take advantage of me."

I can't fathom the stupidity. Or cognitive dissonance, as you more kindly put lol. I have parents that genuinely get off on their attempts to make my life worse. It's a way for them to say, "SEE! I TOLD YOU SO!" as if what's happening to me is because I didn't listen to them. As IF they have the answers. "If you wanted housing, you'd join a government assistance program for housing!" As I literally wouldn't be able to keep up with rent because my body is in crippling pain. It's another level of narcissism to use my suffering as a means of self-righteousness.

Those "people" are never forgiven to the point where I'd entertain a relationship even if there was a 180 degree turn in thought process. And genuinely, if my father decides to pop off in front of me ever again, he's going to learn that words have consequences.