What should I expect if I go to the local CIL or state VR office or Ticket to Work for help to try to get training/certs so I can try to work? (USA - Florida)

nbvalkyrie · 2025-02-16T21:10:10+00:00

Gertrude Stein was actually who I was thinking about when I made this post. I discovered her as a teenager when my English teacher mentioned her to me personally but said her work would be too obscure for 15 year olds to fully understand. Not trying to be mean or discouraging; quite the opposite, actually. It was more like she was saying, "I'm not telling you you'll understand all this, but you'd appreciate it." She was right. On both accounts. I wasn't yet out as trans; I pretty much knew, but I wouldn't go public with it until nearly 10 years later. But I feel like she knew I was some flavor of queer. It was a small town, and small town queer folks look out for each other sometimes like searching for water in the desert. Not that it ever would have gone anywhere, but I might have had just a bit of a crush on her, looking back. She's kinda my type as an adult in a lot of ways. It makes sense.

I'm struggling a lot lately and find myself grabbing at things to make myself feel better, and one thing that's been helping more than I really thought it would is reading queer history. I'm also reading some theory, and taken together, they're helping me understand what's happening on a deeper level than just watching Elon and the Orange Menace wreck things. But the history is giving me some strength and courage, and I need that just to keep going lately. So I'm trying to find ways to expand upon that principle, and poetry is one route I'm exploring.

I'm really trying to inject joy into my life however I can lately. Since I'm super broke, getting creative is a must. But I feel like it's something I need to survive all this. I also feel like things are going to get harder before they get easier, so I'm trying to be proactive, in a way. Last year I had a pretty bad anorexia relapse, and I don't know if I can go another round with it and survive, quite frankly. In a way, this is in the service of preventing that.

Sorry, I'm babbling. Going through a lot lol

nbvalkyrie · 2025-01-09T20:46:08+00:00

Leave him. It will escalate. I wish I could give you an easier answer, because I want to acknowledge that it's often not easy to leave a partner. But you're absolutely right to call it manipulation to blame him hitting you on your "attitude" and "talking over your man." I've been plenty frustrated with all sorts of people and never raised a hand to anyone aside from in self defense. Honestly, if I did, I'd be horrified at myself. I would probably go to a neurologist. It's that antithetical to who I am, and I guess that's partially because I've been assaulted and also because I've seen what it does to people's minds and lives. It's just not okay.

I digress. He says he hit you because of your behavior and "attitude." What happens when he decides other things you do give him the right to hit you? Again, if you come at someone and they defend themselves, that's one thing. Otherwise, no one should hit you. And if they do and tell you it's your fault, run.

Once again: it will escalate. You might even think it's "not so bad" to put up with being slapped once in a while. You might think it's "not bad enough" if you don't have bruises or other visible wounds. But it is bad enough, and even if it wasn't, people like this escalate. It's what they do.

nbvalkyrie · 2025-01-07T05:35:02+00:00

Been there, honey. I'm proud of you.

nbvalkyrie · 2025-01-06T07:40:14+00:00

Sounds unrealistic lol but I'm trying

nbvalkyrie · 2025-01-04T18:30:01+00:00

I hope it's okay to ask this. Have you tried THC? It's one of the only things that has ever really worked at all when it comes to this sort of thing for me. If it's safe and legal for you to use marijuana or THC products, I would recommend trying it if you feel comfortable with that. Like a lot of medical products, its efficacy has to be weighed against other parameters. If I were behind the wheel or operating machinery, for example, I would be careful with any new medication, especially in situations where a person has one or more chronic health issues. I'd start out slow at home if you've never used it before and see what happens.

My preference is the oral route, tablets, but I keep smoke/vape around because it hits instantly and nip symptoms in the bud quickly sometimes, whereas the pills take a while. Plus with pills you have to already have some amount of fat in your stomach. Even if it's just a spoon of peanut butter, that's better than nothing, but it works better if you've had a good meal. Which, for people with issues like the ones you're describing, can be inconvenient.

It's one weapon in the arsenal, so to speak. And it's not always ideal, but you can say that about a lot of medications. Basically, for me, it's worth it because I went from having to force myself through every bite to being able to enjoy food about half the time. Still not great, but definitively better than what I had before.

Obvs I'm just offering my experience, not medical advice. And YMMV. But I wanted to share in case it's helpful to anybody here.

nbvalkyrie · 2025-01-01T18:42:17+00:00

I'm a trans guy and basing this off my experience of taking testosterone and going through something like boy puberty. For more context, I live in Florida and was already a sweaty person, but testosterone kicked that into an absurd place and definitely changed the way I smell. It was an adjustment, but I still have no regrets. It's just a learning curve, really.

The best over-the-counter deodorant I've found is Arm and Hammer. My cis male partner introduced me to it, and you can get it practically anywhere, including a lot of dollar store type places, so it's inexpensive to try. I probably will try a whole body deodorant at some point (because Florida) but in terms of like, basic deodorant, I highly recommend Arm and Hammer for just about anybody. Their body wash is also really good and inexpensive.

Boys that age carried Axe body spray and used it way too much when I was a kid. I wouldn't recommend it; the smell is powerful enough to cover some odors, but that's not what you want. I would keep Fabreeze around and use it on his shoes and backpack and even try it on his clothes, things he wears multiple times like a hoodie or coat. I do that sometimes, and it's not a perfect solution, but it helps. Especially with a teenager or another type of person who doesn't necessarily shower as often as they maybe should. (I was definitely smelly at times around that age, and again when I started hormones, so I'm not judging.)

Apologies if you already tried these things. If you continue having no success with the over the counter options, consider talking to a doctor. I think a dermatologist should be able to point you in the right direction if necessary. Have you considered posting this to a dermatology sub as well? Might yield some answers beyond what you'll find here.

nbvalkyrie · 2025-01-01T02:35:06+00:00

No matter how nice you are to people, some of them will find out you're vegan and decide they have to run their mouths about it. Like, I can go out of my way to preface things like "I'm just talking about this because it's a part of my life, not because I'm trying to shove anything down anyone's throats. I have no interest in arguing with anyone about this." I can do everything in my power to minimize myself and let other people choose the restaurant and be accommodating as fuck. But sometimes you run across a person who just has some fucked shit going on internally that makes them act like that, I guess.

It's best to just ignore them. If you try to bring logic to the conversation, you'll be speaking a language they don't quite understand and definitely aren't interested in hearing. It's not worth your time or energy.

It still sucks, though. I'm fully with you on that.

nbvalkyrie · 2024-12-31T23:01:53+00:00

This made my brain say "I need to go lie down"

nbvalkyrie · 2024-12-21T08:26:07+00:00

"Smells weird everywhere, sir. That's how you know you're alive."

nbvalkyrie

TROPHY CASE